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Original poster

Leaving a 9 year old home alone

51 replies

MrsSnape · 05/05/2008 18:40

How long would you be willing to leave a sensible, quiet and reliable 9 year old in the house alone?

10 minutes?
Half an hour?
An hour?
Not at all?

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MamaG · 05/05/2008 18:41

10-15 mins. More if an emergvency.

Saturn74 · 05/05/2008 18:42

Up to an hour.
I popped to the shops occasionally when DS1 was this age.

FloridaKbear · 05/05/2008 18:43

Hmmmm, pondering... I have an extremely sensible 9 year old and I haven't needed to leave her at home at on her own but I think I could safely do so in an emergency situation but I wouldn't leave her just to go to the shop or something, I would just take her with me.

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stitch · 05/05/2008 18:45

10 to fifteen minutes.
but if she is sensible, quite and reliable, then it isnt that big a problem taking her either, so doesnt matter either way

billybass · 05/05/2008 18:59

My 10 year old I now leave for about an hour. He didn't want to be left on his own when he was 9. Neighbours left their( younger )kids for longer.

backfire · 05/05/2008 19:00

about half an hour in an emergency; up to an hour very occasionally if 12.5yo brother is with her and I'm not far away

janeite · 05/05/2008 19:04

Not at all.

billybass · 05/05/2008 19:10

I used to love being in the house at that age by myself. With only my imaginary friends for company

Bridie3 · 05/05/2008 19:23

Mine gets left for 20 minutes each morning while I take her brother to his bus stop. If she wants, she can come with me but usually she prefers to get her piano practice/spellings done. We have friendly neighbours who know she's there so if anything were to go wrong she has their numbers to ring, as well as my mobile (which I would, obviously, only answer having pulled off the road).

I think it depends on the child's personality as much as the age, to be honest. There are friends of my 11-year-old I wouldn't trust alone for five minutes. It also depends where you live. I wouldn't live my daughter at home if I didn't know and like the neighbours.

nickytwotimes · 05/05/2008 19:25

10 minutes in an emergency. I think most kids ould be absolutely fine for longer, bu tI would fret too much in case there was some kind of accident, fire , etc.

WideWebWitch · 05/05/2008 19:28

It depends on the child tbh. I would leave my 10.5 yo for up to an hour IF

a) I had my phone and knew I would have signal
b) I had left strict instructions about not opening the door or trying to cook (no way he would, he is a wuss where that's concerned)
c) Given that he knows my and his dad's mobile numbers off by heart

MaloryTowersTraditionalist · 05/05/2008 19:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pointydog · 05/05/2008 19:34

I'd prob leave a 9 yr old for up to half an hour.

Yes, depends on teh child. My 9 yr old refuses to be left alone for even a couple of minutes which is slightly annoying. She's a worrier.

ohnelly · 05/05/2008 19:36

Not at all. How would you feel if something happened?

Dropdeadfred · 05/05/2008 19:37

Not at all

serenity · 05/05/2008 19:45

I've left DS1 at home when he's been ill off school, to do the school run with DS2 and DD (around 45 minutes) He's very sensible, knows not to answer the door or answer the phone (unless the caller id says it's me, DH or my sister) He knows who to call if there's a problem, or to go to the unstairs neighbour if he needs someone now. He's 10 now and quite often chooses to stay home if I have to pop to the shops (20/30 minutes max) At 8 I was taking my 4 and 2 yo siblings to the local park, so I figure leaving a 10 year old at home pales into insignificance compared to that.

cocolepew · 05/05/2008 19:46

Not at all.

madmuggle · 05/05/2008 19:50

Would depend on the nine year old. My eldest is five so I've not reached that conundrum as yet.

cory · 05/05/2008 20:05

I left dd for up to an hour when she was 9. She was very mature and trustworthy and I knew she would follow my instructions:

to stay inside the house
not to open the door to anyone
not to answer the phone
not to use the cooker or kettle or sharp knives
to leave the house straightaway in case of fire and alert the neighbours

I would now leave my 11yo and my 7yo at home together for up to an hour. I know they would both be capable of ringing 999 for a real emergency, ringing Dad at work for a lesser emergency and, in case of fire, to get out without stopping to ring.

Judy1234 · 05/05/2008 20:11

Depends on the child. Ours are very mature 9 year olds with much older siblings. They are very rarely left. They were left for 30 minutes about a month ago and answered the door to the police and told them they were home alone. Great..... anyway when the police came back (neighbourhood watch thing) she just said make sure they didn't answer the door in future.

Spidermama · 05/05/2008 20:14

Up to an hour. Then I'd get twitchy.

alfiesbabe · 05/05/2008 21:32

Mine were left for prob about 30 mins max, with a list of rules like cory's. Most 9 year olds can be trusted not to answer the door when told not to, and not to boil the kettle etc. If I had a child who was very disobedient then obviously I wouldnt trust them to be left.
Personally I think in the right circumstances, it's hugely important to start giving children this independence in small steps, because it won't be too many years before they'll want to be left for a whole afternoon or day while you're out, or they will want to be allowed into town alone etc. I've known some parents who barely let their kids have any independence and then suddenly when the child becomes a teenager, they realise they have to let go a bit and the kid suddenly has huge leaps of independence. That would worry me a lot. I think children learn best by having small, safe steps through which they can learn to cope with a variery of situations

ByTheSea · 05/05/2008 21:40

My DD will be nine later this month. She is very intelligent, mature and sensible for her age and will happily spend time on the computer (I have parental controls installed) or reading. She loves a bit of time alone as being third of four children she doesn't get a lot of peace and quiet and can be a bit introverted and get energy from a little downtime. For the last few months, I have left her alone for increasing the time a little at a time for up to two hours. I have tested her at answering the door and she simply doesn't. She knows what to say on the phone, what to do in an emergency, and she wouldn't try something dangerous. She has been fine and it's good for her confidence to know she's trusted.

That said, I have only been leaving DS-12 home alone for about the last year for any length of time, and have not left DS-12 and DD-almost9 alone together. And I have never and probably will never leave DS-11 home alone. IMO, it so depends on the child.

LouiseAnn · 05/05/2008 21:47

I think Alfiesbabe is right. You give them a series of small steps towards independence. It does also depend on the child's personality.
I would leave a sensible 9-year old for up to an hour. You do need to have a set of rules and be happy they will follow the rules.

Simply · 05/05/2008 21:48

Not at all. I rang the Social Services when my two were about 9 and 10 to ask if it was okay to leave a child home alone (I thought it was okay and dh disagreed) and they said when the child is secondary school age then they can be left home alone. I had been leaving one at home whilst fetching the other from a mile away (by car) so I was away from the house for about 10 - 15 mins but then I stopped doing it completely until they reached secondary school age iirc.

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