When was the first time you left your baby with your OH?

[Uncooperativefingers]

Apart from quick trips to the shops (mostly under an hour and one 1.5 he trip), I've never been away from my baby.

I'm FTM with a 12 week old. Until now baby has never had a bottle, always fed on the boob. Last night we gave a bottle of breast milk to see what would happen, and to my surprise he took to it easily. I'm now thinking of making this a semi-regular thing, particularly so I can return to an exercise class I used to do pre-pregnancy. (I'd be out of the house alone for 3 hours). But then I get mum-guilt and wonder whether he's still too young?

How old were your LO's when you left them with a husband/partner for the first time?

In America most people get less than 3 months maternity leave, and are back to full time work by your baby's age.
It is personal, whatever you want to do. There is no harm in you leaving your baby with its father for a period of time. It will probably help them to bond and him to feel more confident doing baby care.
All those threads you read about 'useless' hands off fathers... many of them won't have been 'allowed' near the baby so the responsibility for child care gets deeply set as mothers job solely.

Enjoy your gym class!

2 weeks, I legged it to the shopping centre and it was only when I got there I realised I'd left the baby behind and it was the first time. But he was bottle fed so a different kettle of fish.

I breastfed so honestly, not for ages. With my second I left him with my parents overnight when he was 4 months old but that took so much additional expressing to build up a store of milk for him that it wasn't worth it. I hated expressing. If it hadn't been something I disliked so much I could have left any of them with their other parent at any time without guilt, but I really didn't value time away from then enough to put myself through the pumping.

Depends on the baby. I started an online class at 8-9 months pp and dad struggled to have baby upstairs. She was a high needs generally unhappy baby
Dad had her on his own at 10 months when I was admitted into hospital and he had her 1 or 2 nights a week and she was with me the rest of the time. The first few nights were a steep learning curve as baby at the time didn't get comfort from dad and needed a lot of comfort - severe silent reflux and multiple food allergies

My eldest was EBF and took a bottle of expressed milk no bother so as soon as I was ready. My youngest was a pain and wouldn't take a bottle AT ALL and although I did leave him, and DH just battled through, I realised he just cried for me the entire time which put me off going again and so he was around 11 months and properly weaning, but he was also much easier going and better at tagging along than no.1.

Do you mean literally 'when did you leave them' or for a few hours? I went to the loo by myself soon after birth and husband looked after the baby. Otherwise it was a few days. I want my husband to be a hands on dad and do as much as he can

DH is an equal parent so it was never a case of ‘me’ leaving ‘him’ with the baby. He was just the parent in the house at the time.
2 weeks I think

Your child has two equal parents.

You’re not leaving your baby with a stranger, you’re leaving them with their other capable parent.

I breastfed my two for over a year

I left them both for a nail appointment - in which my DH sat outside in the car with DC for 45 minutes

I didn't leave them properly until they were 6 months and could be fed expressed milk via a bottle

I'm not a precious soul though, DH and I love a wee holiday without them and stuff. It's cool. Do whatever is right for you and your children

About 10 months I went for an evening out. I had fought hard to move from exclusive pumping to direct bf and had absolutely no desire to pump again so I could go out. Also baby was premature and I didn't want to be apart for longer than the odd hour until then. There is no right and wrong once baby is out of the fourth trimester I think.

Book yourself a weekend away asap.

Every family is different, do what works for you, there's no right or wrong and OH has to bond and learn too. Build the time up gradually and if baby and OH are both happy go for it. We had twins and often took a baby each at that age so mine had to start doing without me for periods of time while OH cared for them from day one and they're fine x

Do you have to tear other women down in your reply?

DS2 about 2 weeks, I went with my sister to catch her coach back to the airport and it was delayed so I ended up being out about 3 hours. It was fine.

DS3 I can't remember but DH took him for a walk so I could do DS2's bedtime.

DS1 had a different dad and I didn't leave him with him until he was 4 months!

It was better when I had the confidence to do it earlier. The DC have a great relationship with their dad (DS1's unfortunately hasn't had anything to do with us since he was about 2). Definitely nothing to feel guilty about - it's important not to end up as the default parent IME.

He is the baby’s father, it’s not really leaving them.
express your milk and go to your class your baby will be fine. Babies and fathers deserve to have relationships independent of mum.

I bottle-fed, so it's so different. I came home a few hours after I gave birth to my third. I went straight to bed, and my OH looked after her. They have such a special bond.

From the start. Go and let them be together.

A month? I went out to get a particular brand of nappies and got stuck in traffic and was out for 90 minutes!

But intentionally going to do something... At seven weeks I started going to yoga once a week. It was a lunchtime class next to OH's office. I would feed baby in the car, go to the 45 mins class and then feed again at the end if she needed it! My OH seemed to enjoy it, it broke up his work day, and lots of his colleagues being their babies and toddlers in for short visits.

DS was 3 weeks old when I went on my first solo day out leaving him with my husband. I wasn't breast feeding, but if I had been I'd have done it as soon as he would take a bottle.

It wouldn't even occur to me that leaving a 3 month old for a couple of hours in the evening would deserve "mum guilt".

The day I had my baby I went to the shops leaving my baby with my OH. Why are you worried? He's your child's parent

I left for a 3 night hen weekend in Miami when DS was 14 weeks, I was nursing but baby was taking bottles and I'd pumped enough in the freezer - took my pump and dumped whilst I was there.

Had a great time dancing on tables etc, husband and baby had a great bonding.

It's totally personal but my experience is if the baby is taking bottles, spend more time for yourself and develop independence.

About ten days. I was bf and desperate for a break. Went out for lunch with friends. Having said that baby went to nursery at four months and I went back to work pt so never had that fear.

I think I ran out to the supermarket for an hour when DS was about 3/4 months. That was the first time we'd been apart. DP is very good and hands on but DS fed constantly and was also very refluxy so could feed, vomit and then be screaming hungry again. First night away was probably after his 2nd birthday due to covid.

Dd I went out for an hour when she was about 3/4weeks, just down the road for an hour. First night away, she was 5months old, I left milk but she really didn't take much.

I left them both with DP at 22months and 4yrs for a week to go on holiday.

It's a personal choice although I find it very unnatural when you hear about women leaving their babies just days old, no matter how capable their dad is I just couldn't be separated that soon.

Up until now I couldn't guarantee baby wouldn't want to feed within a given 3hr period. We do demand led feeding, so it's not uncommon to be only 2hrs between feeds.

But honestly, I think the way mother's are treated in the US is borderline barbaric and I wouldn't want to use that as a measure of what's ok tbh.

Also this isn't about having a useless husband. I can count on one hand the number of nappies I've done if he's also in the house. And I've never done an overnight one. He plays with our baby all the time, and they're currently cooing at each other as i write. He's not a useless husband