Evening meals when you work and DC go to nursery?

[Greywarden]

Hi everyone, first-time mum here to a DC who is about 16 months.

My DC is in nursery 4.5 days a week - I have an afternoon off with them every Monday in exchange for one evening a week working late. Most nursery days are 9am-5.30pm. Neither me nor DH can get there in time for an earlier pickup on our current work schedules.

Up until this point, our evening routine has involved one of us picking DC up, getting them home by about 5.40 and whipping up dinner quickly (usually a matter of heating up a batch-cooked meal portion and boiling / steaming veg). DC eats by 6 most nights. We tend to eat with DC as a family although don't always manage it.

However, we've noticed DC getting very cranky and desperate for food so that even with this short wait it's difficult to contain / distract them. I sometimes resort to a pre-dinner fruit snack but that doesn't seem ideal really. Their nursery key worker also tells me my DC is getting upset when the other kids have dinner (about 4.30/5pm) as they want to eat then too.

DC already has lunch and 2 healthy snacks a day provided by nursery. If they had dinner there too it would cost us very little financially and would save us the rushing around... but we would lose out on the family dinner time. I suppose I also like to know DC is having a dinner that I can oversee and where I can ensure the veggies are prominent.

What do you all do about dinner if you work and have a DC in nursery? What should I do?

Mine always had 'dinner' at nursery - they tended to have a proper meal at lunch then snacky stuff for tea. When she came home, she had something light - porridge, fruit, cereal, toast type stuff before her bath and then bed. When you work long hours and can't fit it all in, it is easier to accept you can't and compromise.

Mine eats at nursery but it is light so he still wants dinner with us too.

Its tough when you have to work certain hours and then you feel like you have to make up for it in other ways- all this does is put more pressure on you. I'm your situation I would have DC eat at nursery with the others he could perhaps eat something smaller (fruit/yoghurt/toast) with you at the dinner table when you eat at 6. You still get the time at the table with DC, but everyone is ALOT less stressed. We have 3 children so we have had to change expectations over the years. We now only have a 'family dinner' once a week, usually on a Sunday as we are under less time constraints. The children all eat together at the table for other meals with either myself or their dad at the table with them (usually with just a drink). Hopefully when they are all a bit older we can go back to eating together more often. You just have to do what works best for now. You are doing great!

The portions at nursery will be built around their meal schedule. Id let him have dinner there, then a healthy snack (veg based) for him while you eat dinner.

I would just let them have dinner at nursery.

You can then let them have something light at 6pm with you when they aren’t starving. They can eat cheese, toast, fruit whilst your prepping own meal

It doesn’t have to be forever. Review on a year or so when they are a bit older

at our nursery the main meal is lunchtime and the afternoon meal is pretty light so they’d eat with us in the evening too.

I would let him eat with the other children and just give him a snack with you at home -; if he's going to bed fairly soon afterwards he won't want a big heavy meal. I know it's not ideal but you can still sit with him at the table and you've still got the weekend

He’s so little he’ll be starving. They need to eat early at that age.

DD used to have tea at nursery then she'd just have a small portion of whatever we were having for dinner or if it wasn't something that could be easily made small (rare because most things can) then she'd have crumpets or toast. The dinner at nursery wasn't a big enough portion to see her through to breakfast the next day so some kind of 'supper' was needed.

I was reading that thinking 'what sort of nursery doesn't feed 16 month olds before 5:30pm?!'. I can't believe you've been making him watch the others eat and then bringing him home famished (and no doubt tired) to let him eat at 6pm!

I know it's hard to miss out on dinner time, but you really need to do what's best for your child here. Nursery dinners are always light so you can still have some milk and a snack together when you get in.

For your dc sake I would let them eat at nursery.

Kindly, it sounds like your desire for a family meal is causing them upset. Let them have their meal at nursery and then a snack while you are having your meal. Sounds a lot less stressful all round.

6pm seems like a perfectly normal time to me for a child to be eating dinner if they’ve also had an afternoon snack (as yours does), and I agree that there is great value to having family meals. But unfortunately I guess the nursery’s portion sizes for lunch and snacks must be premised on the idea that kids will also eat dinner there, hence why your child is upset not to be doing so and is starving by 6pm. I think I’d let them have the dinner there but also have them sit down and have family dinner with you and your husband.

My daughter always ate at nursery about 4ish and then had dinner was at 6.
They only ever had like half a sandwich with carrot sticks or like egg muffins with salad. Stuff like that.

Mine eats at nursery and we also eat together at home between 6-6:30pm. We offer her a portion of what we are eating and don’t worry too much if she eats it or not as I know she has already eaten at nursery. I think most nurseries do a lighter meal in the afternoon so kids will need to eat again unless you are putting them to bed as soon as get home.

If the nursery are doing tea for others before yours gets picked up then let him eat there . You can still sit him at the table with you at home and a few bites of what you are having .

Mine used to have 'tea' at nursery and then eat with us. Nursery portions (and their tummies) are small at that age, so it was fine.

Ours were at a childminders and would have dinner there, then usually a snack or something light with us pre bedtime. It’s only for a few years. They’re massive teens now and we have family dinners all the time, nearly always round the table properly (unless it’s a film night or something).
Def best for them to eat with the others for this stage. Find out what they have as well - usually the food has to be pretty well balanced. You could do carrot sticks type snack when they get home if you want to up the veggie content.

Ours had always had dinner at nursery. When they get home they either have carrot/cucumber/cheese, or I make a quick pasta. We very rarely all eat together in the week, I can’t eat at 1800, it’s far too early for me. On the weekends we have most of our meals together and at least one restaurant meal out. They know how to behave at a dinner table, despite us not eating at the same time 5 nights a week. If you’re having breakfast, lunch, and dinner at the weekend then that’s 6 meals together so it more than balances out.

I would go for quality time over quantity personally, it works well for us.

Definitely dinner at nursery- not surprising he gets upset when others are eating. If you are concerned about the quality of his meal and veg content then you could ask them to give him some toast or something lighter so he still eats with you just isn't so hungry.

My DC had all their meals at nursery and most days a big bowl of yogurt at home before bed. I picked them up about 5:50 from nursery and they got home just after 6pm. Like other PPs, the main nursery meal was lunch, which was 2 courses, and tea was usually lighter, often involving soup in the winter. After nursery they went to a childminder for most of primary and again ate there before I picked them up. The childminder gave them a proper home cooked meal including veggies. So we didn’t really eat together as a family in the week until the kids were late primary, about 8/9 years old, and started going to after school club and being able to wait a little later into the evening before eating. It wasn’t what I’d imagined before having kids but it worked, and the kids were well fed.

All 3 of mine had/have dinner at nursery. It's about 430 so a bit early but then they have a snack like fruit or toast before bed. We enjoy family meals together at weekends and holidays.

Dinner at nursery seems the most obvious. DC may want a bit more at home anyway.

Family meals at the weekend.

DC won't remember these family meals you are having now, so I really wouldn't worry about that. Enjoy the time between nursery and bed without the pressure of having to cook quickly & feeding.

Tea at nursery and dinner at home happened here. Sometimes with supper before bed too.

Don't expect your child to go from a nursery tea at 4.30 until breakfast tho. You'll need to feed them something, so it might as well be a small portion of whatever you are having for dinner.

We work similar to you. DC have main meal at lunch time. Appropriate snacks and 'high tea' usually wrap or sandwhich such like at 4pm. At school and nursery. They then have 'supper' at home with us.

We just did family dinners at weekends. Dc ate at childcare or if they couldn't, we would do a quick meal for them (omelette etx) on getting home. Sitting with them with a cuppa then having playtime/ bath time was more enjoyable than trying to cook and serve and all eat together.

We would take turns doing bedtime while the other cooked our meal. If suitable, we would tub up a spare portion for dc for a future meal. Also meant dh and I got dedicated time to sit, alone, together.

Our dc are now 10/11, and we recently moved to a 6pm family meal all together as they now are happy to wait / sort themselves an after school snack while I finish working.