Babys father/co parent says hes suicidal

[TheOliveMoose]

I coparent with babys (11 months) father
We split when she was 4 months

He still wants a relationship but I don't

Co parenting has been hell

Tonight he has wrote on the end of 2 text messages that he feels suicidal. Basically about our relationship ending

After this comment I don't feel comfortable handing our baby over to him now. He is ment to have her for a few hours tomorrow & it's not sitting right with me

You hear of story's where men end up driving themselves and the child off of a bridge because the woman/mother won't take them back, as a revenge kind of thing.

Anyone feeling suicidal isn't thinking straight as it is

Would you hand your baby over to the other parent if they were feeling suicidal?

No I wouldn't hand over my shared child after that message.
I would also be contacting the non emergency police to ask for a welfare check, if he is as he says feeling that way then they can get him help, if he is trying to emotionally manipulate you then he will react a different way, embarrassed and angry, you can then tell him you will do this everytime he mentions that word so he will stop the manipulative language.

Call 999 and alert them to his attempted suicide.

Don't negotiate, don't engage.

When he is released you can inform him that due to his unstable mental health you feel its best if he applies for a CAO to see DS

No I wouldn't we had a case in my area man "struggling" with his mental health came home early from a family holiday bought his toddler with him the mum didn't worry because he is a good dad dad and "would never hurt him" he killed the child and himself everyone was "shocked" the mum apparently "didn't blame him" (i fucking would) it was a couple of days before they welfare checked because they thought he was just being a bit of a cunt because they argued

Just never take a risk

This is the sh** I mean!

Really not worth the risk for me! I'll be the bad guy to protect my baby

You need evidence.
All suicide threats need to be taken seriously.
You need to call it in.

What do u mean?

I have evidence, he wrote it on a text

He sees the baby as a tool to stay connected with you. The suicidal threat is another way of staying connected/trying to control you. I agree with everyone else: report him. And then just send him a formal, friendly, text :

Your threats of self harm are alarming to me. Please call 999/the samaritans/your GP and begin to get help for your issues. Contact with child can resume when you have demonstrated stability for x months/have a plan for managing yourself. Please take care of yourself. No need to update me.

And that's not enough.
What action did you take?
A direct threat of suicide needs to be actioned.
If you thought it was serious enough to stop contact then why didn't you act?
You need to think long term and do what you can.
Men who abuse their partners and children get access. You need more than a simple text.

I wouldn't be allowing him to take my child.

Please do not give him the baby.
Report that he is suicidal.

OP if he has put it in a text message (or or 2) I would call emergency services, tell them exactly what he has said in his message and ask them to consider doing a welfare check. Do not hand over child tomorrow. Is he named on the birth certificate? Speak to social care (social services) and a good solicitor. He is either dangerously unstable or trying to manipulate you back into the relationship. Neither are good qualities for a child.

He's in birth certificate yes

Totally agree with this.
He can apply for a court order if he's that desperate but I wouldn't hand over the baby while he's mentally unstable.

Thankyou for your answers x

Sometimes you have to be the bad guy but you also have to report this to people otherwise they just think your being a cunt

Has he contacted you today? And do you have a Child Arrangements Order in place?

We do not have child arrangements no

And he hasn't contacted me today as in messaged me, but he has made a new Facebook and added me on it 5 times as I've blocked his normal facebook

He sounds completely deranged.

That's one word for him

It's an attempt to control you, call the police and let them know. Also let them know he is presenting so unstable you are concerned about family annihilation so you will not be allowing future contact unless via a contact centre.

Let your ex know this tomorrow that you have reported him for harassment and are getting a non-mol and he needs to go to court for contact.

I would definitely report this to the police . You can do it through none urgent no.

it gives you a trail and he sounds like he is spiralling and could up the ante

Do not hand your baby over to him under any circumstances

Report it.
If you need to respond say you take on board what he is saying and you are calling 999 for him.

I would take it seriously and get him some Crisis support, contact your local mental health crisis team or if you can’t find details contact GP or Police.
Does he have family that will support him?

Agree with the advice above, and no, I'd not hand over the baby given his current mental state.

In the same way a school or childminder wouldn't hand a child back over to a clearly mentally unwell parent. They'd enforce some safeguarding procedures.