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Original poster

Babys father/co parent says hes suicidal

32 replies

TheOliveMoose · 26/12/2024 23:38

I coparent with babys (11 months) father
We split when she was 4 months

He still wants a relationship but I don't

Co parenting has been hell

Tonight he has wrote on the end of 2 text messages that he feels suicidal. Basically about our relationship ending

After this comment I don't feel comfortable handing our baby over to him now. He is ment to have her for a few hours tomorrow & it's not sitting right with me

You hear of story's where men end up driving themselves and the child off of a bridge because the woman/mother won't take them back, as a revenge kind of thing.

Anyone feeling suicidal isn't thinking straight as it is

Would you hand your baby over to the other parent if they were feeling suicidal?

OP posts:
TinyMouseTheatre · 27/12/2024 21:58

RandomMess · 27/12/2024 21:49

It's an attempt to control you, call the police and let them know. Also let them know he is presenting so unstable you are concerned about family annihilation so you will not be allowing future contact unless via a contact centre.

Let your ex know this tomorrow that you have reported him for harassment and are getting a non-mol and he needs to go to court for contact.

I do agree that it sounds like DA.

You could speak to Refuge to see if they think you have grounds for a Non Molestation order and for their advice on how to proceed Flowers

Cerialkiller · 27/12/2024 22:02

Starlightstarbright4 · 27/12/2024 21:49

I would definitely report this to the police . You can do it through none urgent no.

it gives you a trail and he sounds like he is spiralling and could up the ante

While yes there's the outside possibility that a suicidal person would resort to hurting their child too I don't think it's helpful to say that to the police/social worker.

It's more likely that the person might harm themselves in the child presence, leaving them unattended and with dangerous things around them and put them at risk that way.

I do think it's reasonable to withold contact as handing over a baby to someone who is having a mental health crisis or feeling unstable would not be sensible. I would put it in writing to him. 'Infront think it's a good idea for you to have DC while you feel like this. Let me know when you have had an assessment and we can talk about supervised contact'

I also think that contacting the police as above will show you are taking the threat seriously but are also the reasonable and compassionate parent which should this end up in court will help your case.

As ever. Document. Texts/WhatsApp might be deleted from his side so screen shot and email/archive. Get an incident number from the police, keep a time line. Always seek to be seen as the one keeping DC safe and secure.

Starlightstarbright4 · 27/12/2024 22:48

Cerialkiller · 27/12/2024 22:02

While yes there's the outside possibility that a suicidal person would resort to hurting their child too I don't think it's helpful to say that to the police/social worker.

It's more likely that the person might harm themselves in the child presence, leaving them unattended and with dangerous things around them and put them at risk that way.

I do think it's reasonable to withold contact as handing over a baby to someone who is having a mental health crisis or feeling unstable would not be sensible. I would put it in writing to him. 'Infront think it's a good idea for you to have DC while you feel like this. Let me know when you have had an assessment and we can talk about supervised contact'

I also think that contacting the police as above will show you are taking the threat seriously but are also the reasonable and compassionate parent which should this end up in court will help your case.

As ever. Document. Texts/WhatsApp might be deleted from his side so screen shot and email/archive. Get an incident number from the police, keep a time line. Always seek to be seen as the one keeping DC safe and secure.

Edited
Show quote history

I didn’t at any point say they would hurt the child .

i however did however when I was witn ex not allow him to be unsupervised with Ds as he wanted to jump off a cliff and take my Ds with him… so absolutely it can be a risk .

The post reads to me a man who will go to any lengths to get back with ex partner .. The child doesn’t seem paramount in this …

however we are all only reading a snippet from the internet . We need to be aware of potential risks

HowcanIhelp123 · 27/12/2024 22:52

I'd forward the messages on to someone trusted (do you know his parents?) Tell them he's claiming to be suicidal. I'd also tell them he can't have baby any more if he's suicidal as it isn't safe and that they need to be there and tell him as clearly he can't be trusted to act rationally.

Changingplace · 27/12/2024 22:58

Agree with others please report his suicide threat to 999.

Also, screen shot the messages and email them to yourself, if they’re on WhatsApp he could edit or delete what he’s written and claim you’re lying, I may be paranoid but you know what he’s said.

RMNofTikTok · 27/12/2024 22:59

Notify emergency services for all direct threats, he may be serious, or he may be using emotional blackmail. Either way he'll either get the help he needs or be shamed into not doing it again.

As you both have PR and you have the suicidal ideation in writing I'd make an emergency application for a prohibitive steps order preventing him from removing the baby from your care.

OhBling · 27/12/2024 23:03

I am very confused. On your other thread, you have mentioned nothing about suicide and you've apparently spoken to a lawyer and womens aid and the works. And on this thread, he's suicidal, you aren't sure about letting him have your dd for the day.

OP, I have read many of your threads and attempted ot be supportive but its impossible when the story keeps changing. I think you are genuinely in a bad place but you're clearly also somehow feeding on the drama. Sorry Op. I wish you well but I'm out now.

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