Unsupervised in pool

[MyCoralFish]

DH took the kids swimming this afternoon to give me a much needed break. He’s just told me that he needed a wee while there, so left them on their own, in the pool.

When he returned he couldn’t find them. They were on the slide (separate to the pool but right next to it).

Kids are DS 8 who can swim well, and DD 5 who swims like a fish with a vest on (Konfidence vest) and sinks without it.

The pool is very small, the toilets are 5 meters from the pool. There is no active lifeguard (not UK) but occasionally someone watching from a room above the pool.

I‘m sat here in stunned silence. I would ALWAYS take them both to the toilet with me rather than leave them alone. I told him that if anything had happened to DD, DS would have to live with that for the rest of his life.

However , I often think I am over protective and am not sure if this is actually fine.

So what do you think?

I haven’t posted this in aibu because I‘ve had a shocker of a day (unrelated) and am feeling too fragile for the replies there!

He should have just done what most people would, and peed in the pool. No-one would have known and the chlorination will easily deal with it

And they usually have warnings printed on the vests and packaging that of course parents ignore because they let the vest parent the child

All non swimmers need constant supervision near water!

Nobody in their right mind should leave an 8 and 5 year old unattended for any amount of time.in a pool - I would hit the roof!

I take my 4 and my partners 2 (yes 6 in total!) Swimming, they are 4, 5, 6, 7, 7 & 9 and I make them all get out and come if I one needs the toilet, and that us even when they're in the tiny baby pool and all can stand up easily.

The fact he thought it acceptable is crazy!

Just show him this post

Extremely irresponsible

Sorry but no this is absolutely disgusting. I don’t think most people pee in pools.

@Fazhugs how do you manage 6 kids who are so young

Most pools I know limit 3 kids to an adult and one has to be over 8/confident swimmer

With no lifeguard I'd take both ( or at least have them wait at the side). At my local pool I'd my 9 year old briefly if I had to, but they have lifeguards, over 8s don't need to be accompanied and she would stay in the shallow end until I got back. I've only started doing this since she learnt to swim well last year.

I wouldn’t have left either of them. It takes seconds for something to go wrong.

I also wouldn’t have peed in the pool 🤢

You can drown in the bath. In very minimal water. This is an absolute YANBU.
Not to mention the potential drowning, falling/slipping unsupervised and also what if someone else there wanted to take them.
Yes, unlikely but why risk any of this.

You are completely right to feel this way. This is so dangerous. They could have drowned or been taken. I’m pretty sure that leaving children at this age anywhere could be classed at neglect or at least against the rules of the centre.

Also if anything had happen to either of them, that would be the other child's story to live with and feel like we're responsible not just your husband. Even if too young they'd carry that guilt their whole life too!

He is an idiot. You are not overprotective.. just realistic. It's not worth risking a child drowning for the little effort of taking them out of the pool.
I'm sick of hearing about men who either take stupid risks or don't care for their children properly.. it means even when you do get a break you can't relax! Strategic incompetence

I'm a swimming teacher and that made my blood run cold. I'd be furious my children were put in danger.

Terrifying.

I'm not advocating peeing in the pool but if its a kids pool used by babies and toddlers as well as older kids it will already be full of pee as swim nappies don't hold pee.

I would also be furious OP! Even with lifeguards it would be unacceptible to leave them in the pool.

That’s no reason for an adult male to do a big pee in the swimming pool.

I'd have blown my top! Unacceptable

The 8 year old should only have been left with lifeguards present and even then I ask my 9 year old swimmer to sit in the side or go to the shallow end whilst I'm in the toilet.

The 5 year old - especially a non-swimmer should not have been left even in the presence lifeguards and that wouldn't be allowed at a pool in the UK.

Extremely dangerous. Your husband put them at risk of harm. He should have taken the 5 year old with him and asked the 8 year old to sit on the edge.

No way is this OK.
A vest/armbands etc can go wrong.
One kid can't even swim and the other is only 8.
That's shocking.

Wow, you are not overreacting at all! I would be absolutely fuming if my husband ever thought that would be a good idea!

I'd have had a surreptitious pee in the pool, personally 😂

Just agreeing with everyone else that he was an idiot to leave them, especially the 5 year old.
I'd be making it VERY clear this should never, ever happen again.

An adult who leaves a child under 10 who can't swim 25 meters unaided, unsupervised in water even for a second should not be on their own with children.