Bonding with second newborn with a toddler around?

[Applecrumble0110]

DC1 is 21 months (almost 2) and I have a newborn under 1M. My toddler is really struggling with jealousy and is wild and I'm super overwhelmed. I feel worried I won't bond with him, j love him so much and don't feel different about nb than I did toddler as a newborn but baby doesn't get any of my time apart from for feeds, has to be put down alot whereas dc1 was constantly cuddled and contact napped for months. I feel so sorry for newborn as toddler co sleeps whilst baby is in crib and only picked up for feeds. The chores have doubled aswell which is overwhelming in itself. I need advice:(

Okay perfect. I guess I needed the reassurance that baby isn't neglected and I know that sounds crazy and unreasonable but 3 weeks postpartum I guess there is no normal. I've just put dc1 to bed with lots of cuddles and my sister is over and has baby. I was worried baby would t bond/be close with me but glad to hear that wont happen

I think it sounds like you have a baby who doesn’t need to be held all the time and is content without non stop cuddles. My DC were like this, they also hated the sling.

It really won’t. Cuddles when you feed , to settle etc, but when sleeping baby is just fine alone. Bear in mind, their “normal “ has been solitude in a dark womb.

Later babies never get the same attention as a firstborn. You’re doing fine.

I had my second in Covid, with a toddler and nhs husband, and there were days where I would get to bedtime and think ‘I don’t think I’ve looked at you once in the face, just your bum or the top of your head’.

She is honestly the most empathetic, funny, loveable, sociable reception starter. 5 months of sling based neglect seems to have done her no harm. All the stuff with your toddler she will benefit from as she grows, for now all she needs is snuggles.

also, 1 to 2 is hard, you are doing great

“ just your bum!” 😂