Does anyone dislike parenting?

[ChristmasWitchy]

I feel guilty and my child is very well cared for but I'm not really keen on parenting. Another school mum told me she doesn't like it and never has !

Do you mean you don't like your DCs very much or you don't like the hard work involved in caring for them? We all have days where we feel overwhelmed, I think that's normal and some days can be bloody difficult. Which bit of parenting are you not so keen on? It's a pretty big job description!

All of it? Which bits? To dislike the very act of just being a parent seems a pretty strong feeling to have, there must be more to it.

My friend doesn't seem to like any of it.
I find the worry alot and it can be boring.

Well, you’re a bit stuck then.

I know we are all different and not everybody loves every minute etc etc but to write it all off and find no joy in it might suggest there are other factors at play.

I love it and think it's the best and most important job you can do. Doesn't mean it's easy though and I enjoy every second of it.

I find it very stressful. My children are very very young and make a lot of mess, need a lot from me.

I am hoping it will improve when they are both at school!

I love them to pieces and I do enjoy some things but I won’t apologise for finding it difficult.

Why did you have children? If you think back to why you wanted children…what bits were you looking forward to? Can you do more of that?

Yeah sometimes it's not great especially when I find important things down the toilet or 5608404 minuscule pieces of Lego all over my living room...but
I don't hate it, I feel privileged that I get the opportunity to be a stay at home mum, some don't have that
(I do have 4 under 6)

I struggled to conceive aswell! I just always fancied one lol. I thought we'd be closer but a 7 year old and my interests differ alot.

What do you mean when you say you're "not keen" on parenting.

It's hard work at times but I find immense joy in having our child. He's a lovely little chap.

Which bits do you enjoy?

Suppose when we're doing things together ? Or with our friends and their kids ?
I find from afterschool to bed a bit dull

It sounds like things will get better as she grows up and you have more interests in common.

@ChristmasWitchy

Well, kids are different from adults. But surely there are things you enjoy doing together.

I like going for walks with my son, going for a cycle, watching telly together, reading books with him, going on trips, baking... I like seeing his perspective on the world.

Most parents find the run up to bedtime pretty tedious though.

I'm kind of with you.

It's really hard sometimes, but we're very lucky. Our son (almost 5) has some additional needs and we don't have much money despite both working, although low key/part time/flexible jobs to fit around ds. But me and DH are solid and my parents live nearby and are very supportive.

I love being a mum. I definitely need to get better at taking time for myself but I've made a start at that this year. My son is messy, loud, impulsive and does not sleep well at all. But he's also funny, curious, bright, loving, polite and bringing him up is awesome. Even at 3am I can honestly look at him and think "well, there's worse ways to be awake at 3am".

I often have to count to ten, I often look forward to being able to sit with a book and some chocolate in peace. I know more about paw patrol than I care to. But I also know all about animals and decomposition, I've rediscovered how relaxing colouring can be and how fun Lego is.

I like to think of life in phases. We had our chill, travel, fun, relaxing phase in our 20s. We'll hopefully have a nice bit of "us time" back later on before we're too old to enjoy stuff. But right now we're in little kid phase. It's... Different 🤣 But it won't last so you may as well throw yourself into it and enjoy it because it can be pretty damn good.

I find bits quite dull and tedious. I love reading stories together, I like watching nice TV shows together, I like going out to nice places and seeing him having fun. I quite like playing silly horseplay games. I love helping him to sleep at night.

I do not like endlessly vrooming cars, or repeated 2 minute imaginary scenarios where I buy ice cream or pretend to be a mummy squirrel (cute though the idea is). I don't really like doing bathroom (car vrooming with wet mess).

Hello, first post on here. I have a three year old son (only child) and I have fairly recently met someone. He has two boys and the three kids get on well. Over the last month or so, I have noticed that my son seems to have a problem with me being in a relationship, and him having to “share” me. For example, when me and my partner cuddle in front of him, he comes over and kinda gets between us and tries to just cuddle me on my own. When my partner rings me, my son desperately tries to get my attention away from the phone call. And sometimes he has hung up the call by reaching over and pressing the red button on my phone.

It’s really starting to get to me and I don’t know the best way to approach things?

I don’t want anyone to feel excluded.
I split up with his dad during the pregnancy so this would probably be the first time he’s seen me give affection to someone else?

any advice or thoughts greatly appreciated
thank you
Penny

I dislike the drudgery. I feel like I'm always waiting around for meal times, nap times, bedtimes. I'm never free to just pop out alone.

I find playing with them quite tedious too but I do enjoy taking them places and to be honest, those little magical moments do make up for the daily grind. It does get better.

I find it a bit relentless at times, and a bit of a drag. I used to dread full days with my toddler before she started school as it would be, get up, make her breakfast, make mine, take her to a toddler class, follow her around for an hour jumping off things, make her lunch, play quite tedious imaginary play type games, take her for a walk (walking 0.000003 miles per hour because she found the 17th tiny insect or ladybird in 5 minutes), go to the playground and push her on the swing 15000 times, squeeze my fat arse down the tiny slide because she won't go down herself. Take half an hour to walk home because her legs are tired, get home, make tea while she nags me to play with her. Tidy up after tea, then there's the bath and bed routine.

Don't get me wrong, she's an awesome little girl and there are lovely moments, lovely memories, but the day to day grind I don't enjoy.

I would hate parenting. I decided a while ago that I wouldn't have kids. Having a dog is the maximum I can cope with. I do feel sorry for people who didn't realise this before having kids and are now stuck. You will just have to find whatever joys in it you possibly can.

I think each child goes through stages.

Eldest, despite "precious first born" was rather dull until around 6. Then he kind of came into his own. Then an utter dickhead sorry not sorry you wouldn't believe what he got up too from 11 to 14. Then 15 and onwards a really lovely boy.

Middle, an absolute sweetheart from birth to now. Such a funny little chap and so loving. Peppered with hulk-esque tantrums.

Youngest. Dear god, I could have a month's break and not look back. She is a diva to rival Mariah.

I would never describe middle and youngest as boring to parent. But definitely the eldest. Who then also has been the most challenging.

How do you know what having children is going to be like until you have one??!

OP’s already answered.

I do now because I have low resources with very poor health and child is an ND teen. Yet I've loved it in the past.

I think many women feel that way and you shouldn't feel guilty. It might be a sign you need a bit more time for yourself if that's an option. You might feel less of the drudgery if you have time to enjoy yourself separately as an individual not just someone's mum.

this has been said so much!
some women love being mothers and find it easy. Others find it very hard work but love it. Others find it very hard work but also despise parenting not because of how hard it is, but because it can be soul destroying, end your identity, and horribly boring - all of these while adoring your children.
And when people ask “why did you have children then”, it’s obviously a very stupid question

Loved it until they were teenagers and have found that by far the hardest age. My advice is to make the most of them being cute and wanting your attention!