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Original poster

Does anyone dislike parenting?

31 replies

ChristmasWitchy · 28/11/2024 20:50

I feel guilty and my child is very well cared for but I'm not really keen on parenting. Another school mum told me she doesn't like it and never has !

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StormingNorman · 28/11/2024 23:23

Nichebitch · 28/11/2024 23:12

this has been said so much!
some women love being mothers and find it easy. Others find it very hard work but love it. Others find it very hard work but also despise parenting not because of how hard it is, but because it can be soul destroying, end your identity, and horribly boring - all of these while adoring your children.
And when people ask “why did you have children then”, it’s obviously a very stupid question

No one has asked the stupid question have they?

If you’re referring to my post you need to take it in context of the three questions I asked, to prompt OP to remember why she wanted children and enjoy the fun parts.

The addition of the “then” is telling that you read it in the wrong context.

Tetchy!

johnd2 · 28/11/2024 23:25

I find it a massive drudge a lot and find that most of the stuff that makes me feel like myself has fallen by the wayside.
But I think the key thing is to constantly keep an eye on what things you like and your child could like, and try to curate the overlap area.
So reading the same books 10 times is a no for me, but going to the gym is a no for them (preschool)
But maybe there's an angle, going to the duck pond and running around that we can explore.
I have a lot more I can do on the same level with my 5 year old then my 2 year old, but there's still an angle with my 2 year old. But it's easy to mourn what I could do without them. It's a big identity shift becoming a parent. Good luck.

Lookingatthesunset · 29/11/2024 00:38

StormingNorman · 28/11/2024 23:23

No one has asked the stupid question have they?

If you’re referring to my post you need to take it in context of the three questions I asked, to prompt OP to remember why she wanted children and enjoy the fun parts.

The addition of the “then” is telling that you read it in the wrong context.

Tetchy!

Edited
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You literally asked the stupid question!!! Seriously?

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StormingNorman · 29/11/2024 00:45

Lookingatthesunset · 29/11/2024 00:38

You literally asked the stupid question!!! Seriously?

Show quote history

I really didn’t. Not in the context you and @Nichebitch interpreted it. It doesn’t even matter that you overlayed your own interpretation because the OP knew what I was asking and replied.

Read my post. Read my explanation in the quote history. FFS.

Elizo · 29/11/2024 00:47

TattooHulk · 28/11/2024 22:48

Hello, first post on here. I have a three year old son (only child) and I have fairly recently met someone. He has two boys and the three kids get on well. Over the last month or so, I have noticed that my son seems to have a problem with me being in a relationship, and him having to “share” me. For example, when me and my partner cuddle in front of him, he comes over and kinda gets between us and tries to just cuddle me on my own. When my partner rings me, my son desperately tries to get my attention away from the phone call. And sometimes he has hung up the call by reaching over and pressing the red button on my phone.

It’s really starting to get to me and I don’t know the best way to approach things?

I don’t want anyone to feel excluded.
I split up with his dad during the pregnancy so this would probably be the first time he’s seen me give affection to someone else?

any advice or thoughts greatly appreciated
thank you
Penny

Go very slow. Maybe cut back on PDAs until he is more comfortable.

Yourethebeerthief · 29/11/2024 06:35

@Lookingatthesunset

You literally asked the stupid question!!! Seriously?

You have misunderstood @StormingNorman 's post.

Read it again.

They are suggesting that the OP thinks back to before they were a parent, what did they imagine it would be like, what were they looking forward to, in order to reconnect with that feeling and see which things they imagined are true and that they do enjoy about parenthood.

I find it odd and probably not entirely truthful that the OP says they "just fancied" having a child. Before having children we all imagine nice things about starting a family and what it will be like. We don't treat the experience like choosing a chocolate bar.

@StormingNorman 's advice is good.

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