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Parenting

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Is after school stressful for everyone or am I just an awful Mum? Only half joking!

52 replies

Gingerbreadcookiesforme · 13/11/2024 19:48

I have two children, aged 5 and nearly 8 and after school feels like a battle most evenings! I don’t know if other people find this too or if it’s something I’m doing wrong. The oldest is on the waiting list for assessment for autism so I’m aware that may effect things but the youngest isn’t and they both are challenging in different ways.

Currently they’re not in after school clubs besides swimming and occasionally one day of wraparound care as I work full time. We get home, they have snacks and I try to have some stuff set up for them to do if they like as otherwise they descend into physical play like wrestling which is short lived until someone gets hurt. Then after an hour they can watch TV or go on tablets etc until dinner time. We tried doing things the opposite way round with screen time first and it just descended into chaos before dinner and I don’t want them on screens for hours as it really effects their behaviour:

I feel like after school until bedtime is such a slog and I hate that because I love my children very much and I want to enjoy my time with them: I have one on one time with them when I put them to bed and that’s lovely.

I feel like a referee breaking up fights constantly or arguments and it’s exhausting. It hasn’t always felt like this- I think the combination of the oldest entering a new stage and the younger one having a bit of a growth spurt and adjusting to school has taken its toll but we’re over a term in now and it’s still so hard.

Am I just an awful Mum? Or is after-school hard for other people too? I’d be open to other suggestions. Maybe this is just hard ages wise? Please help!

OP posts:
MissEloiseBridgerton · 14/11/2024 07:38

The key for me is after school activities. Mine are 3 and 6. 6 year old has swimming, football, acrobatics. One night we have a quiet one, watching TV, bath and hair wash. Friday night we meet up with friends or go to the playground after school.

If we aren't busy out of the house, or the TV is off, they fight, bicker, get under my feet, moan, winge. I feel like I don't have time to spend with them as I'm trying to sort school stuff, cook, clean, tidy up after them etc. it's a real slog.

Frowningprovidence · 14/11/2024 07:46

I found ot a hard stretch. I had one that needed to decompress and one that had excessive energy and needed a good hour of outdoor play.

My autistic one wasn't able to access childcare but if I had two like my energetic NT one I would have been better using wraparound.

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