How much did you go out with your newborn?

[EveningSpread]

How - and how much - do people get out and about with newborns? I’ve hit a few obstacles and need pointers!

My 3 week old DD (first child) fights sleep. Gets overtired and then hysterical. We have witching hours in the day as well as the evening. She cries a lot, which worries me and I can only think it’s tiredness - she eats well and fills lots of nappies and is gaining weight and otherwise healthy.

I’ve read that newborn “wake windows” should be around 90 mins, including feeding. This is tough to ensure, because it’s often a challenge and long process to encourage her to sleep. She can fight sleep for 4-5 hours, even when coaxed. So going out (hates pram, always alert in social situations) or even having visitors results in a very grouchy baby. It makes me feel irresponsible too.

Getting out and about is also tricky when I’m not sure if it will be 30 mins or 2 hours until she needs another feed. I’m BF and happy to in public, but of course it’s not always possible right away. I feel dreadful for her - and the public - if she’s screaming in the carrier as I’m walking home. (We don’t have a car, so my journeys are all quite public.)

How have others managed sleep fighting babies? And a newborn’s unpredictable feeding schedule?

Anyone with more than one child obviously can’t plan their every day around ensuring their newborn gets enough sleep. While I’m happy to do that theoretically for this presumably short period of her life, I’m sure there must be something I’m missing!

Went out every day, otherwise I would have got crazy.

Everyday twice a day to walk the dog, atleast, I walked and walked and walked on mat leave, best thing for an overtired baby is fresh air!

Also went to some sort of baby group or best feeding clinic most days. Just something sociable.

For the first several weeks I didn’t go out. Both times I had very painful recoveries from c sections plus getting breastfeeding established and couldn’t drive

once I felt better I went out every day.

Every day from about day 10 I think? I'd have gone crazy otherwise plus my baby slept in sling or (sometimes) pram.

I wonder if you've got caught up in wake windows "should" be 90 mins. Firstly there's no "should". There will be a range depending on individual baby and various factors that day or hour. Wake windows are a guide, and your baby hasn't read the guidebook.
Secondly, when you have a newborn it does feel difficult to get stuff done! It's fine to feed on demand and put your baby down to sleep (crib, sling, pram, whatever) when they show signs of tiredness.

In contrast to everyone else, I'm very much a homebody. I have a twelve week old and we get out for a walk around the local area most days but I have yet to join any baby groups or classes. I had a very difficult birth and recovery and could barely walk 500m for the first 3 weeks.

Every day, multiple times a day for dog walks/out for a coffee/lunch/meet a friend/wander round the shop etc, she’s 7 months now and still the same.

My baby was also the same in terms of feeds and sleep but honestly you both get used to it the more you do it. My advice would be just go out and do it, trust me when I say your babies cry isn’t as loud for everyone else as it is for you and you will both be much better off for having gotten out of the house for a little while. Good luck! X

Have you tried going for a walk with her in a sling?
honestly though, don’t feel guilty for not getting out! She’s still so tiny, you’re still finding your feet I’d assume. It gets easier when their feeding becomes more predictable and you’ve got a little routine going on. Good luck

Wasn't in much at all. Pram and sling really helped with sleeping so everything was easier out and about than at home

With DS1 we barely left the house for 6 weeks. We had nightmares trying to bfeed, he literally never slept because he was so hungry, and I had a fair few complications so the only time we did go out was to go back to hospital! I don't regret hunkering down for those 6 weeks at all, I think we were in shock for a lot of it tbh!

In comparison DS2 was enrolled in swimming lessons by 6 weeks but we had far fewer complications second time and we had to get out and about for DS1's sake. We were far from a social whirlwind though and still embraced lots of pyjama days whenever we could.

If you want to get out more, great, but don't feel you have to achieve some sort of target. If you're all happier staying in for now, go with it!

She's currently tiny so what works best for you, works for her x

I went out at least twice a day, often staying out all day 😂 I found it miles easier parenting outside than inside (and I still do now DS is 5!). That being said, friends became homebodies and often went days without leaving the house. No noticeable difference with our kids these days.

Thank you everyone!

I get out every day at the moment but with mixed success. There is always some crying! Today, the late morning walk in the park in her sling - which usually sends her to sleep - produced hysterics instead.

I also worry that since she doesn’t sleep well even when really coaxed that by taking her out too much I’m creating an overtired baby. I realise the 90 min wake window is not how all babies work, but if mine weren’t really encouraged to sleep she could be awake a long time. 5 hours in the day the other day! I would just go with it but I think it’s making her overtired. She tends to cry from 6pm til 10.30pm, during which time we distract her and try to lull her to sleep. It seems a lot of crying.

Perhaps all this is normal though? My mum maintains me and my brother never cried unless we wanted something simple so I feel I’m getting something wrong!

Every day. He only slept in pram or carrier on the move, so staying home just led to an ever more overtired baby. Mine also could go hours awake.
When he was born, he literally stayed awake the whole night, and the nurses declared they had never seen a baby not just sleep.
He still needs very little sleep at 4 years (9pm-6am) and he’s constantly on the move

When he was born it was 2020 lockdown. So I just walked every day to get out. I would often just walk him to a bench a then stop to feed. I often took pram and sling out. Started in pram and hoped he would nap so I could wheel him home and get 20 mins to myself to wee/ make lunch, but if he screamed I would move to the sling.

I just went out. I had an older DC too who was at nursery some days but home the others. I took my baby out to groups, classes, on walks, to the shops, to see friends, even soft play when taking my older dd. Baby just came along with us. So my place too much importance n wake windows, every baby is different and they didn’t read the instruction book for babies! Your baby may not comply with suggested windows and may fight them which is worse.

I also got out and about a lot, but mine was a big sleepy chiller, he loved sleeping in the pram or contact napping from day 1. He actually hated being in a sling so that kind of ruled that out for me.

I think it's hard if your baby finds being out quite stimulating and won't easily nap. I'd probably have stayed home and just done contact naps on the sofa if that was the case with mine. I did eventually get to a point at maybe 6-9 months where he wanted to be in a dark room with white noise to nap so then I felt quite housebound during that phase. Babies are wild.

Every day. I found my pram hating second born gave up reasonably quickly and fell asleep once I'd got her in the thing and started moving. Also she liked it a lot more once she got big enough for the pram seat rather than the carrycot and could actually see out (a few more weeks for yours but from about 2 months I'd put it half reclined when we started and down flat once she was asleep).
If she's really crying all the time, especially while lying down, might be worth getting her checked for silent reflux (although my friend's DD had this issue not mine so can't remember how it's diagnosed).

Wake windows are a useful guide but actually I think 90mins is too long for lots of newborns. Try a 60 min wake window and see if she’s easier to settle. With my first I didn’t really start going out much until they were 6 weeks old as I was very sore and broken and bf took ages to establish.

I know this is a post about how often people get out the house but I just wanted to say my first baby cried from 6-11pm everyday for the first few months of his life and it was so so tough! I hope you're doing ok.

He also needed so much work to get him to sleep. He often went 5/6 hours without sleeping and got overtired and worked up. It got better around the 4 month mark and going out the house then also got easier. Go easy on yourself and if you get out and it's a success great! If you don't manage to get out, or you do and it's not great.... It doesn't matter! Baby won't know any different. Getting out the house is for you at this early stage.

I was out every day with my baby once I could walk properly after my c section (around 7 days). Mostly I was doing two long walks a day (several hours in the morning and again in the afternoon).

By six weeks, we were out every day for at least half the day going to baby classes or long walks in parks and nearby towns. Baby just slept in the pram as he needed.

Everyone on here always says they go out all day everyday, but I very much like being at home so with my first baby we didn't go out much at all for the first few months. I fed on demand (breastfed) and he usually fell asleep feeding while I watched TV, he had lots of contact naps. I just want to say, if you want to stay home that is completely fine too. As the weather gets colder it's also expensive finding places to go out - going coffee/lunch/baby groups and getting buses all adds up so I didn't do it that much!

(Now I'm on my second baby we to out quite a lot as I have a toddler and I miss those days on the sofa with my first! However even now we still have lazy days at home sometimes)

Once or twice a day I'd put her in the pram and go for a long walk. It's the only thing that kept me sane, to be honest. It really calmed me down. It also helped to pass time. If she needed a feed I'd sit on a park bench and feed her or go to a café.

We went out daily - often multiple times. We had a white noised machine I'd strap to the pram amzn.eu/d/5hVqwH0

Also a dummy helped for us when he was a bit older though understand it's not for everyone.

You're going great! It's really tough but you'll be getting smiles soon :)

My baby cried 7-10pm every night for weeks. I think she stopped at around 12/14 weeks? So pretty similar to yours! You aren’t doing anything wrong, I just think being a new born isn’t very enjoyable. It gets easier once they can grab toys and roll over, and for us once DD has learnt to crawl it was a game changer.

Every day from about day 5. DD slept in pram though

I never quite figured it out at that stage- I just decided to deal with going out more when my ds napped better. I always admired the mamas who got out constantly, however I found I couldn’t relax because the sleep issues were so present and pressing

Do what works best for you. With such a tiny baby I wouldn't worry about what other people are doing- please yourself. For the first 8/10 weeks with DC2 I only really went out to do the nursery run. Otherwise (apart from a walk with the sling whilst baby slept) we snuggled up on the sofa. Baby also cried hysterically in the car which put me off going out much. I was really enjoying newborn snuggles. So if you want to stay at home to work on sleep/ feeding then go for it.

DC1 used to do the hysterical crying every evening until approx 3 months old. It was grim, but did stop eventually. Hang in there!