8year old and extra curricular activities/clubs

[extracurric]

Hi

I have an 8 year old girl (in year 4). Up until September she did the following after school/extracurricular activities & hobbies:

swimming lessons x 1/week (weekend)
gymnastics x 1/week (weekend)
team sport x 1/week after school
sea scouts x 1/week after school

general after school club x 2/week (wraparound care, not a hobby, they do crafts & play games)

She finished up swimming lessons in September as had reached stage 5 and could swim competently - would prefer her to continue but was complaining every week so agreed she could stop.

Has been doing sea scouts for a year but never really settled in and actively disliked it when we started back in Sept, so we negotiated continue to half term, but now adamant about quitting so have let her do that.

So she is currently doing team sport as part of school team (which she loves and willing to join a local team also) and gymnastics. This weekend she got in a strop and was crying about going to gymnastics, she has done it since age 4/5, so interest is waning a bit. She likes the classes usually, but is not particularly interested in doing additional practice sessions or competitions.

I think she should continue with it, husband thinks we shouldn't force her if she's losing the joy for it. i'm keen for her to do activities for social reasons and physical activity - i've made it clear to her that she won't be allowed more screen time and sitting in all day if she quits all her hobbies.

Any thoughts? Stopping gymnastics would allow us a lot more flexibility on weekends for days out. Potentially she could pick up another sport/activity ad hoc.
We are busy with work, another child and our own sports, but don't want this the influence things too much. My husband thinks she was over scheduled and let her have the weekends free of activities for a while.
Thanks for reading

We had a rule that if you didn't go to an activity for 3 weeks running without reason (away, I'll etc), then we stop it.

Sounds like she doesn’t like the activities she’s doing much - fair enough, she’s given them a proper go.

I don’t think your only options are to force her to keep going or drop them and let her watch tv all afternoon - she should just try out some other activities and see how she gets on with those (after giving them a proper chance).

My 6yo is learning 2 instruments (daily practice plus lessons for both and ensemble for one of them, has a swimming lesson, Beavers and then has football training Saturday and match on Sunday. I think it is way too much and am hoping he drops football and/or Beavers next year - so I do agree there needs to be a balance.

My boys both do scouts, one does karate and the other basketball. One plays football with school too.

In the past we've had things on every night and weekends from athletics to badminton, Lego club and Minecraft club, yoga, dodgeball, tennis, TKD, swimming (completed to a reasonable level). You have to let kids try different things to see what they like.
Take your daughter's lead and let her follow her heart. 8 is old enough to have a bit of autonomy over this sort of thing.

What about something relaxing and not competitive like a sewing class? No pressure and still social. Or a coding club if she likes computers etc

My 9yo does a team sport twice a week, (training weekday evenings, game at weekend).
Swimming once per week.

Musical instrument once per week.

Craft afternoon one weekend afternoon (related to a niche interest).

How about a coding club or a choir or a drama class?
Could she try a related activity like trampolining?

If you want her to be active that can be informal - take her tree-climbing, swimming, laser questing, cycling. Teach her how to skip or skate board or dig the veg patch.

9yo chose all those activities, he has asked to add another on but I said no because he will just burn out. Needs a few rest days each week.

My DD is 7 and does swimming, gymnastics, dancing, netball, Junior Park Run and plays an instrument for which she has 1 lesson per week and practices 4 times per week. She also does after school club twice per week. I think this is all way too much and am encouraging her to drop something but she isn’t keen unfortunately! I think it’s important to build in a bit of downtime, but also time for reading, a bit of extra maths/English/homework etc.
I also agree with a previous poster who asked if you enjoy your hobbies. There is nothing worse than being made to continue an activity you no longer enjoy - would you put up with that in your spare time?

@extracurric Don't forget at primary school they get time to run around at playtime not just during the PE lessons.
Seriously - why are you insisting she has to do all these out of school activities.
If she has crafts/jigsaws/Lego/whatever available at home then get it out and put the tech away.
This is the perfect time if year to encourage her to start a Christmas craft project. Sew tree decorations. Make a Nativity scene out of clay/cardboard etc. Learn to knit and make a stocking.
There is literally so much she could be doing at home other than tech.
As for getting exercise - bike or scooter ride in the park. A jog around the block. Those outdoor exercise equipment at the park (or just a regular climbing frame at the park).
Not everything needs to a scheduled formal activity.

Thank you for all these views.

Interested to see there's people whose kids do more activities and they want their kids to do less!

For clarification I am not forcing her to do these activities, she has already stopped swimming and scouts, which i agreed.

She has never shown any interest in musical instruments.

I think what we might do is say she can stop gymnastics, but agree to find something else instead - the idea of climbing would probably appeal and i know there are things like indoor roller skating or we could do bike rides more frequently.

She could definitely do with more time spent on spellings and reading, she is strong academically but not because she particularly puts in effort !!

And thanks for reminder to reflect on my own behaviours, i was averagely active as a child, i did play an instrument for 3 years despite having not much musical ability! The hobbies i do now are not the ones i did on either primary or secondary school, however I still maintain the importance of activity (whether structured or unstructured) from an early age.

I think building in a family 'sport' night would be a good move, get you all moving and away from the screens, bike rides and dinner picnics when the weather is nicer but family swims, book a squash / badminton / tennis court etc midweek in the winter.

Yeah good idea - we are already very active though - walk dogs daily, go to beach rock pooling, paddle boarding, trampoline in garden, so we're by no means couch potatoes.

I didn't think you were, but midweek it can be tempting yo flop on the sofa and actually many sports centres have more space for bookings on a midweek session rather than a weekend one.

When we dropped lots of Extra curricular DD started baking / cooking dinner one night a week that keeps her busy and develops different skills.

Gosh, yes, let her have a break! I think she’s very over scheduled. At 8, my dd was doing riding lessons once a week and that’s it. Even at 11, she does only 2 formal after school activities (trampolining and scouts). She does cross country with school, but it’s only a few times a year they do anything outside of school.

It means she has time just to have fun with friends - play dates and sleepovers - which is key for the social aspect (much more important than doing group activities). And she has time and energy to cultivate her own interests - she’s really into climbing so we can take her to the climbing wall or outdoor climbing. Or mountain biking, she went and did 20 miles of mountain biking this weekend with Dh and a friend. She enjoys it and it’s driven by her, but she needed to grown into those interests (and have time and energy to pursue them). I think it sounds like she needs some downtime and a breather from so many different activities to find her thing.

good idea re the cooking/baking - she does enjoy this.
It is fun doing family things when we're on holidays (eg mini golf/bowling) so good idea to look into local facilities in winter to see about booking a court or whatever

Try something different if she's bored of gymnastics. How about tennis or badminton if there are indoor courts? Or dancing of some type or martial arts, judo, karate, etc. What does your local sports hall offer? Ask her if she fancies trying something, no need for a long term commitment initially just one term.

If she not shown any interest in a musical instrument - so you are not going to sugguest it - why are you keen for her to continue with gymnastics, which she is saying she wants to stop?

Beyond the sports/music line of things there's also drama - most places have a kids drama or theatre type organisation, or kids can go along to some community am dram type groups. And there's street dance groups around here, which isn't as formal as things like ballet/tap.

I would allow her to quit gym but now that leaves only one activity I would insist she tries something new for a term but not insist it is a sport or sociable. An instrument, a language, athletics, dance, drama.