When did you first have a child free night?

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Ds is 2y9m and has never been away from me overnight. Since he's been born dh and I have had five lunches or dinners just the two of us but always back by 9pm latest. I'm fine with this. I don't feel I'm missing out or anything but dh seems to think we should have left him (with my parents) overnight by now.

When DS was one. He went and stayed with my parents. He had been with them plenty in the day by himself before that. We didn't actually go anywhere just had a takeaway at home so we could go get him if he didn't like it. We live 20 mins away. After that we did plenty of overnight stays. We have another DS now who is 5 weeks and again won't do it before he is a year.

My eldest is 10 and we've never had a child free night. I'm fine with that.

I've three DC and last year when my youngest was almost four was our first night away. We didn't have anyone willing to take them so it wasn't really choice lol. DHs parents are both dead and my own parents won't do overnight or nighttime babysitting

Youngest was 3 and my DH stayed the night at his mum’s with our three DC.

DH had our first night together without DC last year. Our DC were 20, 18 and 17.

When they were younger we didn't have anyone to leave them with and we didn't particularly want to leave them - we wanted to be with them. We'd each been away separately to visit family and friends or on work trips but we hadn't been away as a couple.

DD1 was staying with grandparents when she was 2ish. Sometimes grandparents stayed with us before that, and we were out until midnight or later for DHs work functions. First tried it again when DD2 was 3 months old, but the wine went to my head and I was home by 11. (Only had a couple of glasses!)

DD2 first stayed away when I was trying to wean her of breastfeeding at 2yo.

Just to add... if you don't want to, its fine. Most of the times we've done it over yhe years has been because of work, plus in the summer for our anniversary. We're lucky PILs ate happy to do it.

With Dh, probably around 2-3, we went away for 2 nights. I had nights away from dc and I went to Australia for 2 weeks for work when eldest was 18 months, but not with Dh (he was home with dd).

Eldest is. nearly 12 and I can count on less than 2 hands the number of nights we’ve had away together since she was born. We don’t really have any family help, though we scrape someone together every few years for a night or two.

Honestly though, we need time to recharge, so Dh and I just go away separately. I love him, but I can have a break from parenting without him and it’s still great. I go on holiday without them all at least once a year and Dh does the same.

We have 3DC. We didn't have a night away from them until the youngest was 5. We didn't have anyone who was willing and capable of babysitting them. They are now 12, 15 and 16 and we're now at the stage of actually enjoying their company so don't want to be away from them, the older two are already thinking about university so in a few years we'll be child free even if we don't want to be.

Having said that I think with a toddler you should take advantage of willing babysitters as long as your DC is comfortable with them.

Never. Neither grandparents felt the desire to offer a sleepover, and then friendship sleepover meant one would be at home.

As parents we suffered with typical sleep deprivation which I believe contributed to the demise of our marriage. Such a shame.

DH’s parents flew over and DH and I had a night at a hotel. DT’s were eight weeks. Whenever family came to visit (both sides of the family lived in different countries to us) we accepted their babysitting offers. When DT’s started nursery at six months, two of the staff became our weekly babysitters.

It's just what works for your family. Obviously leaving a newborn is out of the question (unless from necessity), but beyond that there's no right or wrong:

We had nights where one parent was away from about 18 months, and then we separated and divorced before we ever had a night with both parents away. My sister hasn't yet spent a night apart from her 4 year old (BIL has, without her). My brother and SIL started going out overnight when their dc were under a year old. None of these are abusive or wrong, they're just different styles of parenting.

my eldest is 10 and I’m still waiting for my first child free night 😂

My eldest had her first sleepever with grandparents just before she was 4. It was lovelyfor her. We didn't fancy doing ir before then as when she was 2/3 she would sometimes have nightmares. A want away to a wedding when she was 2 and my parents stayed and put her to bed (we got back around 2am).

If you want to have a night off and you have a happy baby sitter, that's ok. Equally it's ok if you don't want to leave them just yet. Plenty of people don't. My boys are r now and we've never left them - They are early risers and my parents really aren't! They have fished for a sleepover with grandparents as my eldest goes every two months or so for a "film night and sleepover". I've told them when they are 5.

Out eldest had a sleepover with PILs aged 4. But our youngest stayed home with us so it wasnt a child-free night! We've not had a child-free night with both dcs staying over yet. Our youngest feels secure with our bedtime routine and I think she would be unsettled with someone else doing it (who isn't me or DH), and although she mostly sleeps through, if she woke during the night she'd be happier seeing our faces. I expect by age 4 she would be more comfortable.

DS is 5. DH and I have both been away separately for work but we've never left DS overnight. I thought I'd be the kind of parent who would be fine with it but I just can't bring myself to do it yet.

We had a night out with my husband when the baby was 3 months old. We left by 6.30 pm (baby was already sleeping), and went home around 1am (baby was sleeping without waking up until 7 am at the time).
Did the same with my second, as soon as he slept through the nights, which was around 3 and half months.
Every time when my parents visit, we have nights out with my husband (every 2-3 months).
My children are amazing when we leave them with the grandparents for the night - they give them loads of snacks and unlimited tv time (which we don't allow), so they love it. We definitely miss them more than they miss us.

If I had a chance to leave them with the grandparents for a weekend, I would definitely do it!

I think there is a HUGE difference between not having left a little one overnight, and never having been out after 9pm.

We didn't leave ours overnight because we didn't have people who wanted to have them overnight. I think the first time was when we went to a wedding and we had 3 different people, each have one of ours. But we had babysitters and stayed out until midnight / 11 / 12.30 etc.

Why have you never been to anything that means you can't be in by 9pm ?
If you aren't party goers, what about events that go on until later? or Theatre ? or Sports Fixtures or whatever it is that you enjoy ?

we had a special birthday trip away planned which had been long booked before DC1 was even conceived which fell when she was 4 months. So Both sets of grandparents came and stayed at ours for a night each to help for that while we were away. It went very smoothly, so we were told. I felt a bit bad leaving her when shewas so young but it would have been a real shame to cancel our trip and we had a lovely time. Subsequently DC1 started to stay out at grandmas once every couple of months or so and when DC2 arrived and he was about a year old she has continued to have them both for us once every coulle of months. The children adore their special relationship they have with their grandma.

Do night shifts count? Both of mine have had to get used to me not being around overnight from 1 yo. DH doesn’t work nights thankfully!

Socially, DH and I went to a wedding when DC1 was a month off 2 and we were away for 2 nights. He’s 4 now and it’s only been a few more nights since, maybe 6 or 7 total, primarily for child free weddings.

Going out for a meal and a few drinks is enough for us. We have to work so much during the week that it’s nice to maximise weekends with the DC while they are still little, even if it is with an occasional hangover.

My son is 3 years 3 months ish and we’ve never had a child free night. Fine with that though, we had 14 years before he was born and will have plenty more in the future (hopefully!) We’ve had one night where we’ve been back by 9:30 as that’s it

My dd is 13 and Ds is 5 and we’ve never been out on our own in the evening or stayed away for a night! I’ve been out a handful of times and been back late evening but dh has been home. But both children have sen and so there are extra issues with leaving them

Age 2y - we went to a wedding a few hours drive away and MIL stayed at ours with DD. It was actually 2 nights, glorious!

My eldest is 8 and we’ve not been on an overnight together without them.
We’ve had them separately with friends etc.
I might sound like a “mumsnet martyr” but I was sexually abused while staying overnight with my grand parents and I know I just wouldn’t enjoy my time if I went because I’d just be thinking about that.

18m it would have been sooner but covid happened and we had no reason to leave him, he only had a sleepover at my mums in the end because we had a plumbing emergency in January and his room wouldn't get above 4c

with my daughter i think she was around 1