"I´m getting divorced and I DON´T want to keep the children!!"

[nofoodinthehouse]

Are you shocked?

It seems that more and more divorcing couples in Belgium are insisting that neither parent wants to look after their children. What do you make of that?!

Just to put in context, pre-school and after school clubs are the norm, with full time child care clubs during the school holidays. Most women go back to work within 3 months of birth.

Whatever Edam says.

Off from here, I find it difficult to stomach sweeping genrealisations about a country, any country, with no evidence whatsoever. Big claims require big references to back them up, and I can't see the statistics here. So... will not be changing my views on Belgium parents, their nursery systems, etc.

and the Atomium gingerbear!!!

Right, let me tell you why many mothers in Flanders go back to work after just 3 or 4 months of maternity leave.

Jobs are hard to find. Jobs are hard to keep. Employers put a lot of pressure on women to come back to work fast, and to come back full time. Part time jobs are rare as it costs too much for the employer to employ someone part time. People understandly don't want to lose their jobs. The cost of living is increasing, and houses are far more expensive then what they used to be. Many people simply cannot afford to give up work to stay at home with their children.

Creches, nursaries and schools are generally of a very high standard, and a very consistent standard. There is no huge variation in child care as you see in the UK.

Belgium is a small country and most people live close to their families and their families help out a huge amount with child care.

I would like to work part time as many of my friends do in the UK, but I simply do not have the same opportunities as I would have in the UK.

I cannot comment on the custody arrangements between divorcing parents as I don't know of anyone getting a divorce.

No idea about Belgium (but they have nice chips).

I live in Singapore. Maternity leave there is 3 months, recently increased from 2.

In our case, we adopted. Adoption leave is 1 month. We only had 4 weeks notice of child and I needed to give 6 months notice to resign so I negotiated 7 weeks off and a return part-time. Husband got 2 days paternity leave and only had enough holiday to take a week off in total.

Was it hard to go back after 7 weeks? Sure, but in some ways it would have been harder to go back after 9 months as I'd have got used to not working.

Has it affected bonding? No! We both adore our son and he adores us.

People don't voluntarily give up their kids after divorce because they went back to work too soon. They give them up for other reasons e.g. selfish gits, mental/physical illness etc

Oldnewmummy - I also think that's the case with children in Belgium who go to childcare from the age of 3 months or so. They are used to going to child care every day.

Glad it worked out well for you and your child.

Interestingly, people in Belgium find it hard to believe that some british parents end their children to boarding school from an early age.

It's all down to society and culture and what is acceptable.