2yo will not feed himself meals. I’m still feeding him..

[AbbyDx]

Hi, I have a 2.2mth old. I firstly have to say that I have pretty much always fed him 80% of the time, and I know that now I have made things difficult for myself, I always fed him because I then know that he has had a full meal, we did do baby weaning but not to a full extent this is why he is fussy with touching his food now and using cutlery. He’s behind in his development in a few areas anyway, so this probably has something to do with it. He will eat food on a plate if it’s chicken/fish fingers, cucumber chips ect so like finger foods. But he won’t/can’t use a spoon to eat a cooked dinner or a curry ect. He will eat it all if I feed him and I have been trying to introduce the spoon putting the bowl infront of him letting him have a go but he just plays with it just moves the spoon around and hits at the bowl only gently but then just puts the spoon down and won’t even attempt it. He’s getting fussy with his foods at the moment anyway so makes it even more of a struggle. I end up feeding him the meal as it will just go stone cold if I don’t and it’s a waste of food and everyone’s time and he will be hungry. He doesn’t understand me taking it away and letting him ‘go hungry’ I don’t think that would work as he hasn’t got great communication so he doesn’t understand really what I am saying. I do give him and feed him because what else am I supposed to do? I am going to keep trying to let him feed himself but his coordination is just not great he has the spoon upside down and just gets in a right mess with it. As I said I know I’ve sort of done this myself as I didn’t let him experiment that much when he was a baby and I’ve kind of missed that stage now. Does anyone have any similar experiences that they can give me advice on? He’s in a nursery and the other children sit and eat and lately he hasn’t been joining in with them and I just want him to be able to do it with the other children. Feeding him right now just works for us and I know he’s eating he’s a solid healthy little boy and I don’t want to get him off track by him not eating his meals.

There's a cookbook by Jennie Maisels called Finger Food for Babies and Toddlers that I used a lot when mine were little. I used to make the same recipes for the adults too, the fish cakes are especially good, just add salt to the adult portions before serving if needed.

Ask the nursery how they are getting around the lack of cutlery usage, it's not good enough if they are just letting him not eat.

Ask for PT OT SLT to go into nursery watch him at meal time and advise.
OT - They can provide suitable seating cutlery etc

Maybe doddl 2-Piece Spoon and Fork Set - Learn to use Toddler Cutlery in Minutes, 1 Year Old & up, Baby Cutlery Set with Baby Spoons - Weaning Set https://amzn.eu/d/f2JCpEQ

Smirthwaite chair https://uksmobility.co.uk/collections/seating/products/smirthwaite-heathfield-chair

Get him assessed by OT

Of course you don't let him go hungry. Let him have a go for a few minutes and then take over if you're in a rush, or he is tired etc. Let him have a proper go when things are calmer, or food not so important - pudding after you've fed him his dinner etc.

I have cerebral palsy. It sounds as if possibly your LO is struggling physically to use his cutlery. Have you tried thick handled, angled tools?
Vital Baby NOURISH Growing up Angled Cutlery - Toddler Training Cutlery - Chunky Soft Grip Handles - Pop

Hi any update please ? ☺️

Hi, no not really. I still feed him everything other than yoghurts & finger food!

How is he doing now generally @AbbyDx? Is he still behind in a few areas and is he getting any support?