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Original poster

Leaving 8 month old baby- I don't think I can do this....

80 replies

littlepurplerose · 15/10/2024 21:11

Partner has bought me a suprise 2 night city break next June .. my baby will be 8 months by then.

It's leaving Friday morning and coming back Sunday night so only 2 nights but 3 whole days.

I plan to still be exclusively breastfeeding then and as much as I am excited, I also am feeling hugely anxious.

3 whole days.... it feels like too much.

She would be left with my mum who is bloody incredible and I have zero concerns about her ability to care for her perfectly.

But it's just the anxiety of leaving such a young baby... and will it interfere with bf?

What do I do?? Do I tell him I want to just do 1 night? Or do you think I'll feel differently by then?

Anyone got any stories of leaving their EBF babies? How was it???

Isn't 8 months really young to be separated from mummy?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

areallmotherslikethis · 15/10/2024 22:14

From your post I'm guessing you have a newborn?

This is meant with much kindness, but June is a while away.

Try not to get so anxious about it for now, focus on the here and now with baby. Give it a few months and maybe revisit the idea in the new year.

If it still feels uncomfortable, you will still have plenty of time to rearrange or shorten your stay, whichever you prefer.

It's not something you absolutely have to decide on right now x

Dotto · 15/10/2024 22:15

I wouldn't have been comfortable with this.

SweetLimeSoda · 15/10/2024 22:15

It's a long way in the future, see how you feel in May next year.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

6-9 months old Babies & sleep Families

supersonicginandtonic · 15/10/2024 22:17

Since when has 8 months meant a tiny baby? Some parents are back at work by then and plenty go away. You have absolutely no idea how you'll feel by then so it's too early to make a decision!

teachermummyme · 15/10/2024 22:19

At 8 months my breast fed baby was eating virtually nothing in the way of solids and still breastfeeding frequently throughout the day and night. I could also pump very little milk, which was no indication of my supply but which would have meant if I left my baby I wouldn't have been able to leave milk for her nor, more importantly, express enough when away to maintain my supply. I just don't think a rip of this length is doable for most mums of a breastfed 8 month old.

My second daughter was formula fed, so in this respect I could've left her for three days with no impact on feeding. However there's no way I would've wanted to. I know people do leave their babies and if it works for them, great, but there's no way I could've been parted from my baby for that long at that age.

stichguru · 15/10/2024 22:19

I'd reschedule. 8 months is fine to be left, but it's hard to know where you'll be up to by breastfeeding by then. You might not be feeding much, maybe just a night feed, in which case pumping once a day would be fairly easy and your body might manage the milk so that you don't even need to do that. However you could still be feeding 3-4 times, in which case that's a lot of pumping. Your breasts will probably get painful after missing 2 feeds, so that would be 2-3 pumps for each 24 hours you are away. Try to get him to re-book for when baby is a year or so. By then you might well have stopped BF and if you haven't, you'll have probably gone to once a day. That's one pump for each of the 3 days, maybe less if you can BF before you leave on day 1 or when you come back on day 3!

Zoetrope1 · 15/10/2024 22:22

My breastfed baby is 10 months now and there’s still no way I would leave him overnight. He feeds multiple times overnight, does not take a bottle and settles best on the boob. Breast feeding aside, I wouldn’t feel ready to leave him.

Milkand2sugarsplease · 15/10/2024 22:24

There isn't a right or wrong answer, only what works for you. If you don't think you'll be ready to leave baby for that long or don't feel pumping etc is manageable then change or rearrange your trip.

Similarly there's absolutely nothing wrong with a mum having a break for a few days if she's happy with who's caring for baby.

Ambienteamber · 15/10/2024 22:28

Spottydotty268 · 15/10/2024 21:40

Did your baby take a bottle? Mine absolutely refused whenever my husband tried so at that age I never felt I could leave them for too long let alone overnight!

Edited

Show quote history

Yes she took a bottle fine. She was being cared for by her dad and has had expressed milk in a bottle before from him. We had him do that every now and then since birth so she was used to it.

vegandspice · 15/10/2024 22:29

Lighttodark · 15/10/2024 22:07

The issue is breastfeeding

Show quote history

Yes I did read the OP post! I just gave her my perspective.

ThatGutsyHedgehog · 15/10/2024 22:30

That’s a really tricky age my son would not take a bottle at all so I wouldn’t have been able to leave him … plus probably not taking loads of solids by then
If they would take a bottle you would have to pump or you’d risk mastitis
I booked things thinking I would be fine to go to them 8 months down the line and I wasn’t unfortunately
Although I wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving him for that long- but that’s a personal thing there’s nothing wrong with leaving him with your mum if your happy to

Ambienteamber · 15/10/2024 22:31

I would suggest practicing having the baby take the occasional bottle before hand. Don't leave that till near the date if you do decide to go. Make sure baby is used to having milk from a bottle sometimes.

Happyhappyday · 15/10/2024 22:33

I would have been mentally fine with it but struggled to get DC to take a bottle so would have been an issue. You’d also need to a pump a lot so unless you have a good hands free wireless pump, that would be pretty annoying, even if you were just binning the milk.

Donchawishyourgurlfriendwashotlikeme · 15/10/2024 22:36

Nope wouldn’t have worked for me

All my babies were still BF at that age and whilst they could be distracted for a few hours in the day by having a yoghurt or bit of rice or whatever at 8m they absolutely wouldn’t take a bottle of anything so couldn’t be left long in the day and overnight they would have screamed the place down unless they had a BFeed every 2-3 hours.

So I wouldn’t have even tried and tbh would have felt hugely anxious having to try and make it happen. I don’t think I left any of them overnight until they were more like 3 or 4 and both DH and I were happy with that and worked round it.

Im sure your DP just hasn’t realised it might not be possible so I’d just be honest now that you don’t want the pressure and either find another gig more local or at a later date or arrange to take the baby and your mum with you.

CheeseWisely · 15/10/2024 22:38

Agree with those saying it's far too early to make a call on it. I have an EBF 4 month old and couldn't confidently tell you how he'll be feeding or I'll be feeling when he's 8 months. Can you leave it until the Spring and then amend the booking or cancel or DH take a friend, or you take the baby, or you leave the baby and go, depending what is feasible?

Megamooch · 15/10/2024 22:39

I would push it back. I wasnt able to do it until after 1.5 and only then for 1 night. I literally couldn’t

rickandmorts · 15/10/2024 22:42

I'd reschedule. I wouldn't have been able to go away when DD was 8 months. I've got a break planned for next year when she'll be 2 years and 3 months and I'm already worried about leaving her 😩

Spottydotty268 · 15/10/2024 22:42

It really does depend on:

if you are still EBF then
if yes, then if your baby takes a bottle and also you’re able to pump
if you feel comfortable leaving them.

None of which you will know until nearer the time so I would think about a contingency plan (I couldn’t have done it personably as had a bottle refuser, baby still really needed me for comfort especially at night and have thought it’s too long apart anyway).

ForestFox44 · 15/10/2024 22:45

I left my baby for 7 hours for a wedding at that age and that was enough and my boobs were killing, I'd definitely reschedule. Honestly I wouldn't even do a night, I just wouldn't enjoy it as my baby breastfed to sleep and wasn't happy taking pumped milk in a bottle

feelingfree17 · 15/10/2024 22:50

I couldn’t have done this. It will be defeating the object of a break away if you are going to be stressing for months before and most likely the whole time you are away. Definitely speak up, and don’t let anyone persuade you otherwise.

bouncingpotatoes · 15/10/2024 23:51

YouZirName · 15/10/2024 21:29

"Isn't 8 months really young to be separated from mummy?"

Christ. No, she'll be fine. Kindly, get a grip.

There is nothing kind about this 😂 I hope you’ve just had a bad day and aren’t usually this horrid. Direct it somewhere else next time.

YouZirName · 16/10/2024 02:06

bouncingpotatoes · 15/10/2024 23:51

There is nothing kind about this 😂 I hope you’ve just had a bad day and aren’t usually this horrid. Direct it somewhere else next time.

Show quote history

OP asked if she was being ridiculous, and she is. 8 months is absolutely fine to leave a child for a few days in someone else's capable hands, and it's hardly going to be damaged 🙄

DappledThings · 16/10/2024 05:59

YouZirName · 16/10/2024 02:06

OP asked if she was being ridiculous, and she is. 8 months is absolutely fine to leave a child for a few days in someone else's capable hands, and it's hardly going to be damaged 🙄

Show quote history

Not if she won't take a bottle. I couldn't have done it at 8 months without causing severe distress and probably dehydration too. It might be fine, if the baby is happily having bottles and used to them from someone else. It absolutely might not be and it's just as unreasonable for you to claim it will be fine.

Onlyvisiting · 16/10/2024 06:38

littlepurplerose · 15/10/2024 21:11

Partner has bought me a suprise 2 night city break next June .. my baby will be 8 months by then.

It's leaving Friday morning and coming back Sunday night so only 2 nights but 3 whole days.

I plan to still be exclusively breastfeeding then and as much as I am excited, I also am feeling hugely anxious.

3 whole days.... it feels like too much.

She would be left with my mum who is bloody incredible and I have zero concerns about her ability to care for her perfectly.

But it's just the anxiety of leaving such a young baby... and will it interfere with bf?

What do I do?? Do I tell him I want to just do 1 night? Or do you think I'll feel differently by then?

Anyone got any stories of leaving their EBF babies? How was it???

Isn't 8 months really young to be separated from mummy?

So my maths say you have either recently had the baby or a currently heavily pregnant?
Leaving aside how you and the baby will feel emotionally (id suggest a practice simple overnight at your mums at least once before) if you are breastfeeding you would have to pump and they would have to be ok taking a bottle. I don't see how you could know at this point if either of those will work for you? So it's just not practical to decide now that it would definitely be ok.

shakeitoffsis · 16/10/2024 06:42

It's ages away you have absolutely no idea how you will feel then. Me and my husband went on a city break when our daughter was 3 months old. We had a great time didn't regret it at all.

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