Leaving 8 month old baby- I don't think I can do this....

[littlepurplerose]

Partner has bought me a suprise 2 night city break next June .. my baby will be 8 months by then.

It's leaving Friday morning and coming back Sunday night so only 2 nights but 3 whole days.

I plan to still be exclusively breastfeeding then and as much as I am excited, I also am feeling hugely anxious.

3 whole days.... it feels like too much.

She would be left with my mum who is bloody incredible and I have zero concerns about her ability to care for her perfectly.

But it's just the anxiety of leaving such a young baby... and will it interfere with bf?

What do I do?? Do I tell him I want to just do 1 night? Or do you think I'll feel differently by then?

Anyone got any stories of leaving their EBF babies? How was it???

Isn't 8 months really young to be separated from mummy?

I’ve done it for a hen do. I had a great break and loved it. But I spent the entire weekend with a pump strapped to my boobs. Luckily it was the kind of hen do where no one gave a shit.

My little one has just turned one and is still breastfeeding quite a bit. He gets very distressed if he wakes and it’s not me and only breast will settle him so I would say for us it wouldn’t have worked me going away

I wouldn’t have been able or wanted to go at 8 months. At 18 months, yes.

I just had absolutely no desire to be away from her overnight, and I’ve actually only had 1 night away now and she’s 5.

It does feel like a long time to be honest, I’d have been in pain from milk and would’ve found it all a rather miserable experience to be honest. What was he thinking?

It’s very personal. I wouldn’t have wanted to be away that long at 8months but have friends who did and expressed in advance.
you don’t want to be anxious about it so 1 night sounds like a good compromise or delay it and do a spa day somewhere.

How soon do you need to decide? Can you amend the booking closer to the time?

June is 8 months away so you’re either still pregnant or have a very tiny baby. Both of which are not going to be the situation in 8 months time. A lot can happen in 8 months. Your baby might take a bottle, they might not. You might have moved fully to formula, or combo feeding or you might be EBF. You might be desperate for some time away, you might not. I would just look to amend it at the last possible moment before losing any money and see where you’re at then.

Breastfeeding didn’t work for me and at 8 months I was more than ready for a break. I’d have bitten your hand off for two nights away and my mum watching baby. Just see how you get on.

That duration will not work with bf, pumping is not the same as a feeding baby for supply and draining the breast meaning you risk your supply and may be uncomfortable. I would reduce to one night / postpone

I would either bring baby, and get a babysitter for concert. or bring baby and mum so mum can babysit while you go to the concert. Or tell partner to take a friend with him. IF you're still breastfeeding by then. But despite most women wanting to, most women are no longer breastfeeding by then x

Even if you could pump enough, your poor mum could have a hell of a time trying to get a BF baby to take a bottle.

Not wanting to sound negative but there is no way someone who wasn’t me would have been able to settle my 8mo breastfed baby over night. Night feeds for BF babies is often a lot about comfort. You might have a great sleeper but the but my 10mo still wakes up multiple times a night and my DP can’t settle him despite being his primary carer in the daytime.

To add - I’d give my right arm to a night away and a decent night sleep (sod the concert!) I wouldn’t have an issue leaving an 8mo if I thought it would go smoothly. Unfortunately for us, it wouldn’t have gone smoothly!

I absolutely adored my babies but I enjoyed having time away! It is healthy for children to spend time with someone you trust. My children are fully functioning adults who love me unconditionally…absolutely not damaged by Mum having a few nights away !
My children were not breast fed at that age …I needed some independence TBH .

I wouldn't have wanted to do it at that age with either of mine, who were both still breastfeeding at that age including at least once overnight.

It was a nice idea of your partner but a bit short-sighted maybe. Can it be rescheduled easily to a later date?

It is a personal thing though, plenty of people will say go and enjoy it etc. and that's fine if they actually would enjoy it and it wouldn't be difficult with breastfeeding and all the other stuff!

I think you know she'll be absolutely fine, I get it completely and I actually wouldn't go away with my DH without mine (she's 2.5) because I simply just wouldn't enjoy it so I don't see the point.

Only go if you are prepared to let yourself have a good time because it's just not worth it otherwise. There's absolutely nothing wrong with you going, but if you feel like you can't, then don't be pressured into it.

FWIW I went away on a 2 night girls trip with a friend who was bf her 10 month old and she just expressed throughout and was fine. Do you get on ok with expressing? Maybe see what the situation is on that front closer to the time. Sorry for my ignorance but by EBF do you mean you're not going to wean her?

Really surprised at the number of posters giving advice to make a call on this now! You have no idea how you will feel by June! You could be well up for the break. People's experiences on this thread aren't going to make a difference to you and your child - some people leave their babies overnight at weeks old, some people wait until they are years old, theres no right or wrong. I would just wait and see! No point making a decision on it now.

Side note though, from anyone I've spoken to about this, you won't get an overwhelming feeling of being ready to leave your child and think "yepp, this is the time I'm finally comfortable'. No matter when you decide there is a high chance there'll be anxiety and double guessing yourself and some guilt. But you are a human being, and you are part of a loving couple, it is OK for you to leave your child with people you trust and have a night or two away! Best of Luck! 💕

I wouldn’t have managed this when my son was 8 months as he would wake for milk a few times, honestly even one night wouldn’t have worked for us

What an odd gift choice - have you even had your baby yet, if the trip is in June?? Tbf, you might not be breastfeeding by then, for all sorts of reasons. But there's really no way of telling now how you'll be feeding baby, or feeling about leaving them, so it's daft trying to make plans for then.

Anyway, I'm guessing you are either about to pop, or newly postpartum, so don't let this upset you or stress you out. I'd just laugh and tell my partner it's a kind idea but no thanks. You can always book something closer to the time, if you feel like it x

I couldn't have at that age. It takes so much pressure and prep to leave a breastfed baby, with pumping and getting them used to bottles. I'd push it back a year.

I’ve just had to leave my 6m old for 24 hours because we have been struck down by norovirus and are incredibly unwell.

I cried, she had a great time 😂. We are leaving her for 2 nights and 3 days next month. I have to work away 2-4x a year so for us it’s good practice. And I want her to be comfortable staying at my parents so we don’t have issues further down the line.

The issue is breastfeeding

Oh my god, I did and LOVED it. I was almost weaned but I took a breast pump to keep supply up. It was so nice to have a break with DH and a good sleep

I did 2 nights away for a milestone event when my second was 9mo. I didn't sleep much for missing them, and I was incredibly uncomfortable being unable to BF for the 2 days. Whilst you can leave an EBF baby overnight at that age, you won't enjoy it as much, so if it's a treat for you to enjoy, personally think it would be better when baby is older.

Nice. You're talking to the anxious mother of a newborn. She's asking for advice, not a telling-off.

Tell him how you are feeling.

You love him, and you love that he has arranged this it is a beautiful thought, however you are worried about how you will feel. Tell him
you are worried you will feel pressure to leave baby when you might not be ready.

Can he get money back now and if you feel ok with it book something nearer the time, or can baby come too?

He will understand.

I breastfed DD until she was a year old. Personally, I would try to push it back a few months. But we're all different.

I went on a girls weekend away when my DS was 8 months, he was EBF but eating solids well by this age (3 meals a day). He was taking bottles by then as we had introduced a bedtime bottle. He was absolutely fine but was with his dad rather than grandparents. I’m sure he missed me but was fine with his dad. I personally wouldn’t leave an infant without either parent for a whole weekend. Can baby not come with you? You’ll be needing to pump every few hours anyway so won’t exactly be a carefree romantic weekend!
Edited to say my supply didn’t suffer (and I was lazy and only pumped twice a day) and I continued to be EBF until 12 months. But this is all highly individual to each persons milk supply.

8 months is too young to be left for the night if ebf. What if they don’t take a bottle, how are you going to pump whilst away and at a concert?