Second boy on the way, panicking!

[Ellebel]

I have just found out that an early gender scan was incorrect and I am in fact having a second boy. My first son is two and although I love him, he has always been incredibly hard work. As a baby he endlessly cried, never slept, as a toddler the outbursts come thick and fast, often with violence. When he’s in a good mood he is fabulous, but these moments are quite few and far between. I convinced myself it would be easier second time round because I was having a girl. I appreciate this may well not have been the case. I guess having grown up with just my Mum and having had an incredibly close bond and her telling me often how easy I was to raise I imagined I would get this second time round and everything would just be easier. I know the main thing is baby two is healthy, and I am so fortunate to be carrying a second child. I guess I just want reassurance and advice from anyone that has parented two young boys, especially when at least one is completely wild and hard to control. Did you survive with two?! Were they similar or different to eachother? I already feel like I am struggling to be a good mum, despite honestly really trying my best, and am now terrified I will be even worse once two young boys with never ending energy running about the place. Thank you x

I was a bit worried too OP and here I am delighted with my 2 lovely boys many years later.
Having 2 boys does make some things easier ... same as two girls. They will more likely play the same games, use the same toys, wear the same clothes. You can put them in the same sports clubs etc. So that can make life a bit easier.
In my experience boys are often higher energy and you do need to face the fact it's unlikely you'll be doing a lot of crafting! But as PP said, every child is different and you may get a crafty boy just like you may get a high energy girl.
What I have found as they get older is having 2 of the same is super helpful. My older one alerted me to the fact my younger was watching some dodgy content and I was able to nip it in the bud. My eldest can also advise on certain video games and whether they'll be OK age wise or give gym training tips, that kind of thing. They bond over sports teams in a way that I can't relate (single non sporty mum here).
They had a few years of not getting on but most of their life they have really been close and I can see now at ages 16 and 18 they will continue to be close as they age

In short don't worry too much OP!

I have two girls and during the toddler years my eldest was just like your boy. They are unique and individual and can be very different to siblings

I’ve two little boys under two and they couldn’t be more opposite in both looks and personality. Even total reverse with their sleeping! They are their own little people but there’s lots of positives for two of the same sex and it’s certainly going to save me a lot with their clothes.

congrats!

I have 2 boys - eldest is 2 and youngest is 5 months.

My eldest screamed for 10 hours a day, every day for 7 months. It nearly broke me. My youngest hasn't cried for more than 5 minutes, ever!

I've had lots of people tell me anecdotally that they found their son physically harder than their daughter up to age 10 but then their daughter was emotionally much harder after age 10 and their son felt very easy in comparison.

My SIL loves football and drinks pints and can't bear to spend more than an hour or so alone with her mum. Whereas my dad spent loads of time with his mum. Gender is no aguarantee of closeness later in life.

I don't believe it has anything to do with sex, they are just humans, some are calm like DS1 and my nephew and some are like tornados, never still, noisy, climb everything which would be Ds2, my niece and me, also female, so not a sex thing. Having worked in a primary school that stacks up too, some boys are quiet and some girls are loud. It depends on so many things. My friend was told her DD was too loud in school, she replied she is one of four children they are all loud to be heard sometimes.

The best thing about 2 boys, hand me down clothes. They can go into the toilets together when they are older and you are out and about. Plus you can say my boys, or the boys or collectively should them as "boys." Mine are close to me (now aged 21 and 18) and also have a great relationship with their Dh too.

And you're quite sure that's genetic? Any evidence for this?

Enjoy it.
Wait until they become teenagers, then the stress starts..

Patriarchical structures and toxic masculinity. HTH.

I've got four boys and honestly they are all so different. Couldn't be more different really. One is very studious and socially confident, one is quiet and bright but also has a real temper, another is very funny, affectionate, sweet and mischievous. Youngest just a baby but he is unique too. They all have their own gifts, talents, challenges and flaws. I have one girl, my eldest, and I adore her but she has sensory processing and quite a list of other issues. She's doing great but it's been so hard, my boys have been a breeze so far in comparison.

I have two girls and they have very different personalities....so you really never know what you're going to get!

All babies/children are different. Nothing to do with sex IMO.

My DD was really hard work, mainly because she was so adventurous physically and so forceful in expressing her likes and dislikes. My DS was totally different - a very gentle, laid back child who crawled and walked late and showed unusual empathy for others from a very young age. Both now lovely adults but very different personalities.

You get what you get, regardless of sex, and your job as a parent is to help them be their best selves.

But different to girls, boys are non conformists, so they are HARD. Both have had challenges at school, and at friend and family get togethers I have to watch them like a hawk
^

It’s just as hard for my sister with 2 girls. I don’t think you can categorically say boys are harder

my nieces are totally different from each other but both incredibly challenging with behaviour issues in school and home. My nephew is the easiest child in the world in comparison.

I have a boy and a girl. If anything my daughter is more challenging than her older brother- she knows her own mind, is fierce, emotional and full of drama but a very loving child. Her brother is very chilled out, nothing fazes him and super well behaved

it’s personality op not their sex. Ds2 could be wild like his big bro or a chilled little chap

Wow, some of these comments are a little tone deaf.

@Ellebel I have two boys a couple years apart and it's absolutely lovely! They are very different (one wild and impulsive, one quiet and studious) but they share such a special, close bond that I don't think would have developed between boy/girl siblings. On a practical note, they share clothes and interests, they share a room. I'm so glad I have two boys. I had a moment of sadness for never having a girl but the reality of parenting boys has been overwhelmingly positive. From what I've seen, boys are easier and simpler to raise, and the relationship between mother and son is a whole lot less fraught than between mother and daughter. The boys / men in my life love their mums deeply and simply, with none of the complex emotions that girls and their mums can share. Enjoy your two boys! They will be different, due to their own unique personalities rather than their sex.

@freespirit333 and yet, my friends with girls struggle with preteen angst, brattiness, oversexualisation and friendship dramas that just breeze past my boys. Funny that! It's almost like people have different experiences and different children.

Sex is such a small part of who a child is. I have a same gender sibling and we couldn’t be more different. Your new baby is just as likely to have a totally different personality to your son as he would be if he were a girl. They are different people.

I’ve got 2 boys, they are 18 and nearly 16 now. Parenting young children is relentless regardless of sex I’d imagine. Mine were active but not wild. The youngest is autistic which was challenging in his primary school years. I love the 2 of them to bits and wouldn’t change my lot for the world.

Son 1 didn’t need much sleep and would have given Road Runner stiff competition. Mr Busy.
Son 2 was so laid back he was horizontal.
Congratulations!

I have two boys. The first still takes all our energy. The second is a legend!

Don't panic OP.
I am a mum of two boys but they have a big age gap. I love having boys. I've sneaked a look into the room and they've been feeding each other grapes and maltesers, making dens with blankets, hoover nozzle sticks and cushions and they like to lie next to eachother and watch films. They're quite civil with one another.
Congratulations.

I have two boys, although the age gap is a bit bigger. I cannot state enough how very different they are. My first was a difficult baby, didn’t sleep, didn’t want to be put down, didn’t like baby groups etc. Turns out he has ASD which explains a lot. My second was a dream baby, slept well, fed well, happy, smiley etc. I didn’t do anything different. If I had DS2 first the age gap would have been smaller!!

They're just different no matter the gender.

My 1st (almost 4) is a very sweet boy who is very compliant. The challenge with him is he is often more sensitive to injury and sickness. My 2nd is a girl who is a bit wilder -- she's 2 and recently gave me a blood nose accidentally and will just refuse to do something unless you give her time and space to feel like she's choosing to do it. She used to launch herself at her brother and bite him. She'll also fall over and just get back up and you'd hardly know if she has a cold.

I have a girl and a boy and they are pretty similar. There are different aspects that have been tricky with both of them but overall neither of them are difficult.

My DS loves football and battles but is always gentle. He has always had a fantastic concentration span and could entertain himself for long stretches from quite small - he would sit exploring toys at 8/9mo. He has always been affectionate, more so than my DD was when younger.

My friend has a litter of boys, and they are sweet charming and polite as they come and play with each other beautifully