I want another baby but live in a 1 bed flat.

[HughesDad98]

Hello looking for advice

me and my wife age 25 & 26

have a 3 year old son , 4 early next year.

we own a 1 bedroom studio flat that 3 of us and a cat live in have lived there for 5 years.

we have debt, both of us work full time, and have some spare money. But not alot.

we have discussed having another baby since our first was born and we still talk about it now, we really want another but the thoguht of money and the place we live in keeps stopping us.

need advice,

we can sell the flat and pay off all debts with the sale but will leave us very very little deposit to but a 2 bed flat.

and with our son starting school next year we already dont know how that will effect my wifes job working around school times.

god we want another but its nearly been 4 years since the first and we are still going back and forth now.

do we go for it and not have regrets later in life, or do we stay as we are and not have the money stress or sale stress.

help!

With your ages I would say wait, pay off debts, try to increase income and move somewhere bigger. It wl be harder to move once you have a second baby to provide for.

You don't seem to be able to afford to have another child and need to prioritise the comfort and stability of the child you already have and need to provide for.

Where does your existing child sleep and what is the plan for them having their own bedroom? I'm assuming they share a room with you at the moment as it's a 1 bed studio but that's not sustainable long term because they're already 4 and will need their own space and privacy within the next few years.

Our current child has the bedroom and we have the living room,

its going to take 7 years to clear it all,

or we could sell the property pay it all off and move during a pregnancy?

I would wait until you are in a better position to have another. You are still young.

You should have another but not right now. Luckily you have age on your side so have some breathing room.

I would just go for it. If your DC has the bedroom, why can't you put two DC in there? It will be much easier for you in the long run to have two DC closer in age than to have a huge gap and be child-rearing for donkey's years. In times past people just had kids when they were young and skint and over time it all worked out. I think I'd just get the childbearing over and done with, if I were you, as you've already had your first. You might want to move out of London a bit though, when you move, to get more space for your money. London prices are absurd for family-size properties and anyone on an average wage.

Where would you move to? If you have another child now, there will be a 5 year age gap. So in 5 or 6 years you will need 3 bedrooms, especially if the kids are not the same sex.

I know it’s hard. We stayed with one for financial reasons too but we make a big effort with friends and cousins so our dc is not lonely and still has all the family support.

Is it a studio or a one-bed? They’re very different. I think I’d wait. You are both very young.

I'm going to go against the grain and say have another child so the age gap isn't too much. Both children can share the bedroom until they are older and in the meantime you can save up more of a deposit and look to move in a couple of years.

Or do this. Again, consider moving out of London a bit so you get a decent 2 or 3 bed.

Is op in London?

It's not about what you and your wife want but what's best for your existing child. A studio flat is basically a large living room with a bed - there's already 3 of you and a cat. Where will your 4 old live, and how will they sleep with a crying baby with no walls separating them? How do you even have sex in a studio flat to get pregnant with a 4 year old?

I would sell your flat, pay off your debt and rent somewhere bigger if you desperately want 2 children. Or sell up, pay your debt and move to a much cheaper area to get a 2 bed. But having 2 children in your current home is cruel and unnecessary (and not a living standard suitable for the first world) - you don't live in a slum or tenement with no access to birth control to raise children like this. Children aren't just a shiny new toy!

Can you afford your wife to be on maternity leave ?

Many people would not have considered having one child in a studio flat, never mind two.

Maybe you will need to go down the ' shared ' ownership route, whether it be social housing shared ownership or a private new builder shared ownership.
Having one child already you would be ' allowed ' to apply for a 3 bed in social housing shared ownership.

We all want things but sometimes we can't afford them

I think sometimes we just have to be honest with ourselves and admit we can’t afford what we want, sometimes at all but sometimes just right now. I think you’re probably the latter. Luckily you’re still young so you can give it another few years before revisiting, meaning you can get yourself in a much better position.

How on earth do you have debt that will take 7 years to clear at your ages?

I would absolutely clear the debt, as quickly as possible, before having another child. You are young. Can you even pay your bills and service debts whilst on mat leave?

It's not just lack of space though is it? Can you afford childcare for a second child? If you are just about managing with two full-time jobs at the moment, presumably you are already paying for childcare? Then you mention your wife working around school times in future so presumably you will lose the childcare costs but her salary will be majorly impacted, particularly if she is expecting to be able to cover all holidays as well. However she will still need childcare for the second child while she is working so any which way I think you are going to have even less money than now.

Will you even be approved for a mortgage on a larger property at the moment?

Just to note debt can be paid off with property sale and start a fresh.

we can be debt free and move to a bigger place during a pregnancy.

If you can be debt free and move to a bigger place, why don't you do it before you get pregnant?

Would you have a deposit for a new, bigger place and be able to get a mortgage for a bigger place?

If so, it doesn't make sense why you have the debt now.

OP is a man 😄

If you have to ask the question - then you cannot afford another child. If you were in a position where you had space and no debts - the question wouldn’t cross your mind.

You can be debt-free but what about capital to put into a new property? How much deposit will you have and have you actually checked to see if you can get a big enough mortgage to allow you to move and also cover all moving costs? And as someone else said if you CAN move then why wait until your partner is pregnant? That just sounds like making things difficult for yourselves.

Op, you aren't making any sense. How will you move to another place if you've used the proceeds of your flat sale to clear your debt?

You are only mid-twenties! Your child will start school shortly, meaning much less cost of child care. Your wife won't need to work around school hours. If you both work shifts,, one starts early while the other does drop off, and then you switch in the afternoon.You'll both be able to work full time, give your existing child a secure home, and clear your debt. Then have your second child in your early thirties.

Finding a new home is incredibly expensive and problematic at the moment. If you have another child now, you risk condemning your existing child to poverty and possibly making yourselves homeless. Hardly responsible !!