Finances when baby comes along.

[HB28]

My husband and I both work full time now (he earns a bit more than me). We currently have separate accounts that our wages go into and a joint account (that we transfer equal amounts to) that we pay the mortgage, bills, groceries and any shared costs from. Whatever we each have left in our own accounts pays for our own bills (mobile phone, subscriptions etc) and our disposable income is ours to do whatever we want with. This has always worked well for us, but obviously now I'm pregnant we need to revisit this.

I should get full pay for the first few months (my work will top up SMP) but after that I'll just be getting £180 SMP a week (which is a lot less than what I earn now). That's if I go back after 39 weeks. If I take the full year I'll get nothing towards the end. Even when I do go back it might be part time so I won't be earning as much as I used to.

My question is how have people in similar situations organised their finances once the baby comes along?

We have always had one account - everything in, everything out - with an amount transferred to a savings account. We also have individual credit cards - but I try to keep those paid off. We discuss any large spends. Otherwise we know what kind of money we have for "fun". I can never understand why in so many marriages the person who earns more seems to think they "deserve" more spending money. Surely when you get married and have kids, you are a unit? Why would you want your other half to go without whilst you spaff your cash?

Everything becomes family money. How you manage the actual accounts is up to you.

the idea that he should get more disposable income is just bizarre to me. We are a team. When DH got a huge bonus at work at one point, he was the one who pointed out it needed to be spent on a new car for me. That is what our family needed so that is where the money went.

Both salaries into joint account, both get fun money the same into a personal Monzo (his smoking, gaming and dinners with friends comes out of his, mine is for shopping for things I don't overly need but want (like pretty things for the house) /dinners/coffees out with friends). Both our gifts to each other come from this too.

All bills, mortgage, car repairs, insurances, Anything child related, family days out, all presents for family members bdays or Xmas, our clothes (usually in discussion though eg. I need some more jeans/new dress for this wedding) etc and neither of us are particularly designer/big shoppers, any joint lunch/dinners out/takeaways etc come from the joint account.

Anything left at the end of the month goes into joint savings accounts.

We earn roughly the same if both full time but my DH earns more than me because I dropped a day less so we were not paying for childcare and I do more of the household stuff so we didn't see it as fair that because I earn less I should have less fun money.

We do one pot.
I agree with the others that you shouldn't get less money just because he earns slightly more - you just can't start playing that game if you're going to have different childcare/work focuses.
If it's really important to you both that your differing incomes are reflected in your spending money, think about how you could make childcare really equal when you do go back to work. Could you both go part-time to 4 days a week each, rather than you dropping to three? Will you make sure to split drop offs and pick ups equally? Will you split night wakes and mornings evenly after you finish maternity leave? If you need to travel for work, will you both give each other the same opportunities to do that? If the reason you are a step below in your career is you are younger than your partner, will he focus on the childcare for a few years following your maternity leave so that you can catch up? (If you are the same age and he has just happened to progress more than you this wouldn't be necessary for equity.)
It is an adjustment sharing after having had your own money. People prefer different things but I think family life is easier if you're both just working hard for your family, whatever you are doing, rather than trying to work out who is contributing the most.

Wages go into our own accounts. Joint bill account for house, joint savings and kids stuff that that we both pay 50/50 into. Anything else is our own to save/spend as we want.