First school trip..am I overthinking this?

[Ajt34]

Please no negative comments as my mother has already told me I'm stupid.
My little girl is 4 and has just started reception and today we have had a letter to advise us of her first school trip to the zoo. I am instantly filled with dread and worry for some reason and I cant bare some of the thoughts I'm having - what if she gets lost? What if something happens on the way? What if she becomes scared and wants mummy and daddy and we cant get there? My mind is running wild. Please someone tell me I'm not losing my mind and this is normal? The thought of not being able to get to her is driving me insane. I want her to have the best of everything of course, and not miss out. I guess I'm scared. Can anyone relate? Thanks in advance 🥺

This is going to sound harsher than I mean it to but... the chances of anything bad happening to your child on a school trip is extremely low. But encouraging anxiety rather than confidence and independence in your child is much more worrying to me. Anxiety is an epidemic in kids and teens and we need to learn how to build our kids up. School trips are not about the zoo, they're about teaching your kid that there's a world to explore. Let them.

You are overthinking. The school have taken countless Early Years classes on school trips, over the years. The staff are highly competent and there will always be the correct ratio of children to adults. Head counting/register taking will be done regularly. A staff member with full paediatric first aid training, with a kit, will be within the group of adults too. Your daughter will have a fantastic time. I understand it's a little nerve wracking for you, but please don't show your anxiety to your daughter. Your daughter will be so busy, she won't have time to miss Mummy and Daddy. I speak as a Mum myself but also as someone who has worked within a Infant/First school on and off for 12 years!

Thank you for the kind responses, they have been amazing.
For those who haven't been so pleasant - I did not once say I was not letting her go so I'm not sure why anyone would feel the need to make this comment. In terms of anxiety management for myself, it baffles me how people say "you need help" and not in a positive way - how do you know someone is not already receiving help? You don't, this is the problem with people being so quick to judge.
Again thank you for all the kind words and reassurances. AJ x

What horror stories related to school trips have you seen?

Op your dc will have a great time!

As ithers have shared, our scool trip process is as follows:

Trip booked,venue and coach company share risk assessment/ relevant insurance docs.

Staff review these risk assessment docs before preparing a school risk assesment and uploading it on to system.

Class teacher visits venue before hand to get used to layout, toilets, picnic spaces, potential areas they want to focus on etc

Required number of adults for the key stage ratio sourced and checked: usyally we swap TAs about and first invite governors to assist before parents. Any children who have a 1-1 will have that staff member wth them.

Class teacher creates groups if children allocated to each adult. Children who may be lively etc are pmaced wth teacher / TAs, not volunteers.

Reminder day before to parents about clothing, eg coats, shoes, sun hats, suncream, packed lunch arrangements.

Toilets before boarding coah,medication eg inhalers, epipen etc taken with staff fir their group. And travel sickness medication sorted in advance if travel.

Children get to venue, headcount, go to their adult, headcount, enter venue, toilet check before set off.

The clas stays together with each adult continually checking their headcount.

Lunch sit together, toilets after lunch, remainder if visit.

Toilets before coach, more headcount, noard coach, headcount and home.

It's natural to feel like this but you really must not let your DD know how you feel and you must let her go and wave her off with a smile. She will be absolutely fine and have a great time.
My mum was anxious about stuff like this and I do think I missed out on some things when I was a child because of it, and still can be anxious about going new places and trying new things now in my 40s. I have tried really hard to not make my DDs like this

You asked is it normal to feel like this and the answer is no! Not 'instant dread' when you heard about the trip. I mean this in the kindest way, but I think you really need to get your anxiety levels checked with your doctor.

Of course it's normal to have a certain level of anxiety over your 4 year old heading off on a trip. In fact, it would be odd if you didn't. But not the level you are feeling. Your predominant feeling should be excitement for your child. It's a big deal for her heading off. You should be chatting excitedly to her about all the animals she will see, the fun she will have with her friends etc.

I'm a primary school teacher and the majority of young children we see suffering with anxiety have a parent/ care giver who is very anxious themselves and the children are feeding from this. Please don't project your anxiety onto your little girl.

Reception wasn't 4 years old back in the 70s.

I remember being nervous before their school trips when they were little, mostly because as 4-7 year olds they were prone to wandering off.
I bought them very bright plain colored items to go over their uniform, so in the colder months they had yellow or orange coats, in the summer, bright plain hats and always a plain colourful rucsack. (They did like these items, I wasn't embarassing them)
I figured it made them easier to notice and find if they drifted off, it was similar to how I dressed them on days out so I could spot them in a crowd. It made me feel a bit more relaxed.

But they have always been perfectly fine on school trips, as are almost all children and while they are doing something exciting with their friends for one day they are very unlikely to be missing their parents. It helps them and you to know they can do things without you and be happy and safe.

I completely understand! My older one is now 14 and I still worry when he is on trips! I heard a theory once that catastrophic thinking (which is what i am prone to) is a way for your subconscious to work through worst case scenarios so you can act if needed.

But she will be fine and will have a lovely story to tell you. Mine is going for his first school trip abroad in a few months and I am now in a place where I only feel excitement for him.

I work in a primary school for reception and we take the little 4 year olds to the zoo too. Don't worry!! They are spit up into very small groups, usually 5 to each adult. There will be alot of adults with the group and they do head counts at all times. School uniform should be worn too!
They will have a great time.

I have no intentions on projecting anything onto my little girl.

No parent ever has any intention to project onto their children. That's not to say it doesn't happen though!

I completely agree with this. Definitely don't go with her.

Not intentionally of course but children pick up on fear, stress, anxiety etc without you necessarily being aware of it.

It was.

Indeed, I started Reception, at 4, in the 1960s.

Some parts of the country had children starting each term, so Summer birthdays didn't start until Easter of the Reception year, but they were still 4 years old when they started.

Exactly

It's completely understandable to feel nervous about it. It's incredibly naive to think all people in professions including even caring professions are always on the ball.

However - the repercussions of any school making a mistake wherein child safety is at risk are so huge, they will tend to do everything to make sure every child is always covered. The liability on them is a massive incentive so they'll make sure every T is crossed I'm sure of it.

Try relax and let them enjoy it 🙏

That's just plain rude & nasty. "Feel sorry for kids with parents like this"?? I feel sorry for children whose parents couldn't care less about them personally, but that's just me. Fancy commenting something like this, I'm sure theres other threads that may interest you more🤣

Yes I am well aware as I am a psychiatric nurse. Thanks though.

Fancy commenting something like this, I'm sure theres other threads that may interest you more🤣

You mean, answering a question posted on the internet, on a discussion board? I mean, surely that was the very point of you starting the thread, that people answered what you asked. You'd be disappointed if you were still sitting on 'Unanswered threads' I presume? @ItWasOnAStarryNight is perfectly entitled to post her opinion on here, whether you like what her opinion is or not.
If you aren't ready to hear the opinions of people whose thoughts are different from your own, then top advice is not to ask the question on the internet.

Hang on @Ajt34 . It isn't rude to query your information source. Especially if it is social media because then algorithm will feed you more.

I wouldn't be near social media with your anxiety as it will only feed it. If you want reassurance then I would suggest you check a national statistics website.

And your comment to the poster was just bloody rude and ridiculous. People are trying to help you and you are being nasty in return.

I used to think a little like this but they take really good care of children on these trips. I once observed my daughter’s class at age 5 on a trip to the museum, they were all so organised. Your daughter will be fine.

I'd love to know where the answer to my question is☺️

It wasn't myself that posted anything about horror stories in the first place. But I doubt the individual who did mention that found that comment helpful.