First school trip..am I overthinking this?

[Ajt34]

Please no negative comments as my mother has already told me I'm stupid.
My little girl is 4 and has just started reception and today we have had a letter to advise us of her first school trip to the zoo. I am instantly filled with dread and worry for some reason and I cant bare some of the thoughts I'm having - what if she gets lost? What if something happens on the way? What if she becomes scared and wants mummy and daddy and we cant get there? My mind is running wild. Please someone tell me I'm not losing my mind and this is normal? The thought of not being able to get to her is driving me insane. I want her to have the best of everything of course, and not miss out. I guess I'm scared. Can anyone relate? Thanks in advance 🥺

Been on lots of trips, although the class will probably stay together anyway, your child will be put in a small group with an adult who is responsible for checking they are there at all times, and the child might be wearing a high vis vest too. You can ask the teacher what the adult to child ratio is, ours was about 3 or 4 in a group. I was way more paranoid about the other children wandering off in my own group than my own child! I would just remind them before they go to listen to the teacher, stay in their group and don’t wander off. It’s a very exciting experience for them and all part of slowly gaining a bit more independence and confidence and feeling proud they have done it. Plus the coach is very exciting for them! (We also had to do a constant count of the children and loo trips were monitored closely and done in groups.)

It is scary when your 4 year old goes on their first school trip.
Scary when they first go to the local shop age 7/8.
Scary when they walk to school age 9/10
Scary when they catch the bus to school age 11
Scary when they go abroad with school age 12
Scary when they go to the city age 15.
Scary when they drive a car alone age 17/18.

Being a parent is scary. You have to feel the fear and let them do it anyway.

How many news reports do you read where a school has lost a child on a school trip?
Probably as common as rocking horse poo!!

Mine had trips from crawling stage with his crèche.

She will have a ball. They will be well minded in an environment set up for small children. Worry is normal but work on it not impacting on her experiences.

Yes you need to let her go. The benefits hugely outweigh the risks. You can't let your anxiety show to her.

If you volunteer as a helper do u have a dbs check and do you realise you will not be in a group with your own child?

Neither do I!

OP you need to get help for your daughter’s sake.

I think it depends on the school, I was in a group with my child, (I do have a DBS check)

You can't help how you feel but you do need to try and manage your anxiety and rationalise these feelings. It's important to stop it impacting your daughter.

I honestly never had these worries. I'm not saying that to say your feelings are not valid but it just genuinely didn't occur to me to worry. I knew she was with trusted adults, on a safe, risk assessed trip and I knew she was generally sensible and would follow rules and not run off. I just didn't think there was anything to worry about.

We just had the first overnight brownies trip and I was slightly worried but it was just in the sense of I hope she enjoys it. I didn't think anything bad would or could happen.

It is normal and part of our biological make up to be concerned for the welfare of our children when they are not in our care.

Focus on the positives and repeat as often as you need to.... The teachers and staff are competant professionals, I trust them. The zoo is a safe place which is used to welcoming school groups. My daughter is safe in their care, I am safe. I breathe in and out and let go of all of the fears. I allow myself to feel safe. I allow my daughter to feel safe.

Yes you are overthinking it 😁

But I completely understand. She is only 4 but please try to be less anxious about it. No need to stress her out about it either - I am sure she will have a great time! She will not get lost as I am certain the teachers are perfectly capable of caring for her. You cannot control how you are feeling but just try to understand that she will be perfectly fine and there are many more school trips to come in the future so you'll have to get used to it !

It's natural to be worried but the teachers know what they're doing. I was worried for DS first school trip to snowdome when he was 3 because he was a flight risk! His teacher had already planned
for this and made sure he was in her group and she held his hand for this exact reason.

Teachers have done umpteen school trips, they will have their procedures thought out and well practiced. My job involves taking children on trips out and we do so many head counts during the day that it sticks in my head and I end up counting to that number for the rest of the night.

Why would she be less fine than all the other children on this and previous and future school trips?

Your worry is totally understandable. I've taught in primary schools for almost 20 years, led plenty of trips myself including to Hampton Court, the seaside and so on... yet when my daughter went on her first proper school trip last year I felt really anxious. I had to persuade myself to look at it rationally... I know how much work goes into a trip with the pre-visit, risk assessment, planning the day, helpers etc etc and I could trust that the staff would do their utmost to keep every child safe. Trips are pretty stressful as a teacher but are still one of my favourite things as the children gain so much from taking their learning outside the classroom. She will have a great time and you will be ok!

I thought you were going to say away from home overnight trip for some reason.
There will be plenty of supervision, At that age they always walk two abreast often holding hands, all wearing high Vis, with adults on each end and in the middle. If in public getting to somewhere.
They'll regularly count them and keep a very close eye on them. Plus the staff involved in the activity will be trained on supervising small children.
Please don't worry!
If they ask for parental volunteers for trips and you can spare a few hours one day, you could be a helper for the next one to help your concerns?

I get it, while I didn’t feel as anxious as you’re describing I definitely was anxious before mine went on his first trip! I think school already feels like a jump in them being away from you, but it’s a controlled environment which you know well. Them going on a school trip is another big jump, now they’ll be in an environment that you don’t know and can’t control.

But as everyone has said, schools are very experienced in this, they have so many policies and procedures in place. Your DC will have a blast! In fact the only thing I now worry about is bedtime, because mine gets so excited he sleeps all the way home on the coach and is up for hours and hours 😂.

Sure it’s natural to be a bit worried but seriously consider how your child in any way will grow up to be Independant and resilient if they don’t ever do anything and have you worrying and fretting all the time. Let her go, wish her well. She will be fine.

It was the waving them off on the coach, that used to get to me!

Definitely let her go. It will benefit both of you to be able to look back and see how much fun she had and that nothing bad happened.

I wouldn’t suggest volunteering to attend. My first trip to the zoo as a volunteer I was given a group of 4 children - my DD and her two friends who were all calm and compliant. And a little boy called W. The teacher said keep an eye on W he’s a live wire. I spent the whole day stopping W from attempting to scale various enclosures. But I delivered him safely back to the coach. The girls had a great day too but it just would not have worked if I was the kind of parent who was hyper focused on my own child or if DD was particularly clingy.

You can't really ask us if you are overthinking this, and even be considering no =t letting her go, then put Please no negative comments as what do you want people to say?

Of course you are being silly.
That level of anxiety is not normal.
As someone has shared the statistics above, getting in a car to go anywhere is FAR more 'dangerous' , statistically, than going on a trip, (or indeed, walking along a pavement, next to a road), yet you do these.

You can't help it if you are an anxious person (well, there might be help you can get but I know counselling or therapy isn't that easy to come by), but you can make decisions not to put your problems on to your dc.

I just volunteered to be a helper, was more the coach that worried me as there had been some accidents near that time (long time ago) and I'm a control freak where driving is concerned. I could never understand why they didn't have seat belts! I remember a farm trip with 4 year olds.........it was hell🙈 given four kids to look after (not my own obviously) who all dived off in opposite directions😂 but eureka was the worst as too many places where you couldn't see them all at once😱

When did it become normal for 4 year olds to go on big trips ? It wasn't until 6 or 7 when D's was at school. I don't think I'd have been very relaxed when he was 4 tbh.

I'm a 70's kid and we had trips to the zoo and circus in reception

Hi OP. I'm a primary teacher, and I promise your child will have a brilliant day! The planning that goes into trips is meticulous, and they are thoroughly, thoroughly risk assessed. The paperwork is time consuming (for good reason!).
I've been teaching for 15 years (so have done many trips!) and not once have we lost anyone. I have been part of trips where we've taken 120 across two year groups, and it has always run smoothly. This also involved getting a public bus!
I know it's easy for me to say as a teacher, but try not to worry. I am also a mum, and DD1 (now 6) went on her first trip at 4. She had an absolute ball!