Daughter has a mark on back that’s been there for months now social services involved

[ForBrickCat]

Hi everyone, I did post this earlier but had to remove as I accidentally included my daughters name but this is what happened
my daughter has had a mark on her back got to be since she was about 4 months old. I consulted my HV over it because I am definitely an over paranoid mum and I’m sure I convinced myself she had meningitis or something. HV assured me all was fine, it was either skin discolouration or pigmentation almost like a birth mark/mongolian blue spot.
I took her advice and didn’t worry, and the spot never disappeared so I assumed she was right. My sister attended this appointment with me and witnessed HV checking the spot.
Fast forward to Friday 3rd October, I noticed the mark was darker and this took my attention, I attended play group with my friends who also know about the mark and asked them if they think it’s darker, they agreed. I then rushed home and phoned the drs for an emergency appointment.
The drs advised they didn’t know what the spot was and the protocol is to contact social services and to go from there.
I have been put through hell since that day, I have not been allowed to be with my own daughter unsupervised, my mother is living with me, my mother has to even take my daughter to the toilet with her. As a mother who absolutely adores her daughter this is completely heart breaking for me.
I have followed all social services protocol and adhering to their care plan. But my issue is, we took my child to the hospital yesterday for their standard safeguarding procedures and checks,my child was put through the works of X-rays, CT’s, blood tests etc, as you can imagine this was traumatising for both me, her dad and my child herself.
During this appointment I showed the Dr dated photos of my child’s back and the mark there for months (I even proved to the dr that they were original photos)
They had to get in contact with the health visitor who saw the mark who I was hoping could put all of this to bed with her notes, only to find she didn’t make any note of it and apparantly can’t recall as it was so long ago.
This has now meant that because it is an ‘undertermined mark’
I am now under social services with a case worker and my life has been turned upside down. My mother has to supervise me until a decision is made, and this involves their legal team also.
I went to my health visitor for help, I went to the drs for help and I feel as though I have been completely let down by my health services.
I completely understand there are protocols to follow and I have absolutely no issue with that, but the fact that HV did not note this has led to this continuing, if she had noted something we would not be in this situation.
We love our daughter more than anything; she is a happy, healthy, well looked after, clever baby. The problem is my child’s custody and home life is now in danger because of the incompetencies of an NHS employee.
As a mother and a person, I did everything right by my child.
I asked a healthcare provider to look at it, I was told not to worry. I noticed a change, I went to the dr on an emergency appointment. I did everything right.
She’s our absolute world. I trusted the health service to help us and we have been severely let down.
sorry if this sounds a bit too formal this is basically copied from my complaint to the healthboard haha

Yep, I'm a childminder and it's something that Ofsted and Social Services are really hot on at the moment.
Sounds like you've just been really unlucky that the HV didn't write it down, then the GP you saw was probably a bit overcautious about referring, and no one is really working on non-emergencies at the weekend.

Definitely look on the bright side that it's all being examined and documented now and it hopefully all be cleared up next week.

Sorry but how can midwives doctors etc not see that it is a Mongolian blue spot/some other kind of birthmark?
I'd be furious with that health visitor so sorry you're going through all this. If you have pictures of it which are dated over the months surely this puts you in the clear ? Bruises don't last months

I'm sorry - this sounds like awful practice on their part and highly unfair, but I guess now you will just have to see it through and I'm sure it will turn out OK in the end, it sounds like you should have plenty of evidence this is a long term thing that you raised in the first place.

Friends had something similar happen when their child developed red welts on their skin and they ended up being investigated by Social Services, having contact restrictions etc because there were fears it was abuse, but it turned out to be an allergy.

Thank you so much. It’s been devestating and honestly completely changed my view on social services and a lot of the healthcare we have received. We are rolling with what they want and doing everything they’ve asked to keep them happy and hoping this ends soon. Oh bless your friend! It is such a scary situation especially when the parents know something definitely hasn’t happened!

This was my argument! Like I’m not in healthcare, I don’t know about these things but to be told it’s nothing to worry about and then it changing and me immediately worrying and calling the drs just for this to happen has blown my mind honestly. Thank you so much. I’m hoping this is over by the end of the week hopefully once they see the photos for the case

@ForBrickCat any update ? Hope things were sorted out.

Why is it only you under investigation.
Why not the father, grandparents or any one else that's in contact with the child alone?

I went to have a look at what this "Mongolian spot" is and the NHS website says this kind of mark should be recorded at birth? I assume precisely to avoid these situations?

It's not always visible at birth.

We noticed my sons at 2 weeks old and it stayed through toddlerhood

My sisters friend went through this with her child who had a Mongolian blue spot and the non-specialist thought he saw a line on the x-ray that might be a fracture. She went through hell that weekend waiting until the specialist walked in on the Monday and dismissed the whole thing as nonsense.

after hearing this I insisted at my 6 week check for my son that my doctor noted on his file where his Mongolian blue spots are. He has one on his wrist for instance and I didn’t ever want to be accused of bruising him and not have categorical proof that he had the mark since birth.

My son was born with a birth mark that looks like a bruise under his eye. It's there all the time but shows more if he is ill or pale. I noticed that every time I saw the gp when he was little they asked me what it was and how he got it.
Eventually I asked them to note it in his records because I said that if I had been responsible for it , then them asking me and me saying he'd had since birth would be rubbish if he didn't have it next time. But if he did have it the next time then they could write that and that would be the end of the matter. They gave me the old oh no there's no need but I insisted for both of our sakes. Once or twice another gp in the van practice would see him and ask the question but once I'd explained it's in the notes somewhere that was fine. I wasn't upset about being asked because I knew what it was it was more them not noting it down means if I had been hurting him they would just have accepted what I said and not checked.

Hope you’re ok @ForBrickCat - appalling treatment of you and your family.

Oh noo.. Sorry you’re going through this. The possibility of this kind of situation is why our GP and health visitors were really careful to have proper records about my son’s birthmark when we didn’t know what it was at a few days’ old…. They said so at the time.
Hopefully professionals involved will quite quickly get enough reassurance that they’re dealing with a safe and loved child…

Op I'm so sorry you're going through this. Please please try not to panic. Stay as calm and professional as you can when you speak to any professionals.
You have photos and you have witnesses. You have an explanation for what this spot is. The protocol needs to be followed by if you present as angry emotional or defensive it won't help you.
A friend of a friend has been through hell with something similar and eventually she got her boy back (he had to sleep at her brothers house but she saw him supervised through the days).

Oh interesting that you are in wales - my friend with the dreadful
Experience also was in wales

How is everything OP? X