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Original poster

Autistic Toddler won't cover legs

52 replies

autumnstyledrama · 03/10/2024 17:13

I'm wondering if anyone can help me.. my DD is at school and is on the pathway for autism diagnosis.

She refuses to wear trousers, leggings or tights and doesn't seem to feel the cold. (We've got past it previously by having her in the buggy with a blanket) she had an accident today and instead of putting the spare skirt I supplied on, they dressed her in a pair of spare leggings due to the weather. She was grand in the setting.

However she's been in the midst of a meltdown since we got home. Leggings have been removed and she's calmed down slightly but still very agitated.

I know she needs to dress appropriately for the weather but I'm lost as to what to try. She hates the feeling of anything on her legs. Any ideas?

Thanks x

OP posts:
ButterAsADip · 03/10/2024 17:17

My kids are still in shorts for school. If she likes shorts, can’t she keep wearing them?

DinosaurOfFire · 03/10/2024 17:21

How about a longer skirt and knee high socks maybe?

Original poster
autumnstyledrama · 03/10/2024 17:21

She'll happily do so but school are concerned coming into winter. And I'm truly stumped as to what else I can try!?

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Scutterbug · 03/10/2024 17:24

My DS wore shorts all year round in primary, even in snow!

Original poster
autumnstyledrama · 03/10/2024 17:26

@DinosaurOfFire that's a good shout thank you!

OP posts:
Chaiilatte · 03/10/2024 17:27

My sons the same, he wears shorts only to school and doesn't tolerate trousers (tried every kind under the sun) if we send him in trousers he takes them off in school and will have a melt down until his shorts are back on. We've just accepted it now.

Smartiepants79 · 03/10/2024 17:28

Will she wear cycling shorts? Under a skirt? Long socks? Have you tried different types of leggings or tights? They make special seam free ones for children with sensory issues I believe.

arthar · 03/10/2024 17:33

autumnstyledrama · 03/10/2024 17:21

She'll happily do so but school are concerned coming into winter. And I'm truly stumped as to what else I can try!?

Concerned how? Have they actually called you in to discuss this, in september? Just let her wear shorts. It's not ideal, but equally it's hardly the worst and school don't get to decide.

Fedupsequin · 03/10/2024 17:35

Hi OP, my DD (4) is the same. She’s wearing school shorts and above the knee socks from Matalan online.

Original poster
autumnstyledrama · 03/10/2024 17:36

@Smartiepants79 she currently wears a skort as she has a habit of taking skirts off but we found with skorts she wears them and doesn't remove) she refuses cycling shorts alone and they cause a meltdown.

I don't think it's the seams as such she is against, more that she hates anything on her legs (arms too, but I've managed to find t shirts with wider arms and a coat that she likes the feel of again with wider arms). Wide trousers she rails against if you try to put them on. So I'm at a bit of a loss as to what to try that doesn't result in my poor DD masking ok at school and then it all coming out of an evening.

OP posts:
Original poster
autumnstyledrama · 03/10/2024 17:38

@arthar they pulled me aside at the gates today to discuss, which I found weird as it is quite mild. I guess they just want to be ahead of the weather and support us with changes so she can get used to it if need be, before the cold arrives?

OP posts:
EBoo80 · 03/10/2024 17:40

Tell them no. If she is happy (not complaining about being cold) then they can deal with it. My son wore only shorts until he was 7, then managed joggers only. Now at secondary school in proper trousers. He just needed more time, and creating a fight about it would have backfired just as you’ve described.

MrsBungle · 03/10/2024 17:40

My son never owned a pair of school trousers in primary. He wore shorts all year round all through winter. He was fine and school wasn’t bothered.

InTheRainOnATrain · 03/10/2024 17:41

Skirt and knee socks, even if she pushes the socks down she can pull them up if she gets cold. Loads of boys seem to live year round in shorts; my DC’s school only bought in trousers as a uniform option for boys last year! I’m surprised school are making a thing of it, especially this early on in the term when it isn’t even that cold yet.

Original poster
autumnstyledrama · 03/10/2024 17:43

Thank you, it's validating to hear it's not just me that finds it just creates problem where there isn't one. I'll stand my ground a bit more tomorrow

OP posts:
ThatOpenSwan · 03/10/2024 17:44

Loose dungarees? Might be completely off base as still has the stuff round her legs problem but when you mentioned wide trousers don't work I just wondered if there was a waistband/crotch thing as well - obviously the shorts suggest not but sensory stuff can be weird!

SummerFeverVenice · 03/10/2024 17:44

I agree, keep her in skorts as long as you can.

Even though she isn’t yet diagnosed, because she has been referred by a health profession, the school is legally required to give her the same accommodations as if she were diagnosed.

If you and school are concerned about weather & cold, then the appropriate accomodation should be a provision for her to stay in or go in early from any outdoor activity if she requests it due to being cold.

modgepodge · 03/10/2024 17:45

Some boys preps will have them in shorts and socks year round. I work in a school where the girls have to wear a kilt, at least half only ever choose to wear socks whatever the weather (yet some of the others wear tights with a summer dress…!) I can’t believe the school are getting involved in this! Socks all winter is fine if she’s happy.

dementedpixie · 03/10/2024 17:45

My ds wore shorts all through primary school even during snowy and wet days in Scotland. He was most put out when he went to secondary school and needed to wear trousers. He's back wearing shorts now he's going to Uni at the age of 18.

AdoraBell · 03/10/2024 17:45

Do the school know about the autism? Tell them to use the spare skirt.

JeremiahBullfrog · 03/10/2024 17:45

How is she with long skirts? (Worn by girls and women for most of western history without obvious ill effects.)

mumisfull · 03/10/2024 17:47

My daughter is now nearly 14 and still can't manage anything on the tops of her legs, even if it's really soft. She only wears skirts or dresses and long socks.
I would say to school that it's not worth battling over. Maybe she can wear a longer coat to keep her warm but it most likely will be that being a bit cold is the lesser of the 2 evils for her.

Hayley1256 · 03/10/2024 17:47

Does she have any favourite characters? If she does you might be able to get leggings, joggers, trousers etc with them on which might persuade her to wear them. I would also try a longer dress / skirt with knee socks.

Ellerby83 · 03/10/2024 17:48

MrsBungle · 03/10/2024 17:40

My son never owned a pair of school trousers in primary. He wore shorts all year round all through winter. He was fine and school wasn’t bothered.

My ds was like this at primary, quite a lot of the boys were the same. Classrooms are very hot

BeMintBee · 03/10/2024 17:51

Honestly if she’s fine with a skirt in winter then just let her where one. Politely but firmly tell school that you won’t be forcing the issue. It’s very very common for children with autism to be particular about clothing. Would school prefer that she is agitated all day because she is so distracted by feeling physically uncomfortable in tights or trousers?

Would she wear Ugg style boots (but with a better sole?) may give some extra warmth on snowy or very rainy days? School needs to make accommodations and uniform should be part of that.