Firstly, I've namechanged as i'm so ashamed of the fact that i have no control over my dd (10) and i really dont know what to do.
She has been cheeky and argumentative for a while now and we've always had a problem with bedtimes (it takes me sometimes an hour to get her to go to bed) but for some reason tonight has just been awful.
It started off when eating her tea, she dropped some noodles down her t-shirt and instead of picking them up and putting them on her plate, she threw them and they landed down behind the tv. I immediately asked her why she had done that and she replied 'because i wanted to'. I told her that it was unacceptable and that she should know at her age not to throw food around the house! Anyway, then it came to bedtime and she decided she needed a drink before she got changed into her pj's. I made her some orange squash and told her to drink it up then get her pj's on, teeth brushed and that i wanted her in bed by 8.30pm (which was 20 mins away). She then sat and sipped the orange squash so slowly whilst smirking at me and repeating 'and what happens if i'm not in bed by 8.30pm'. I told her that i was really fed up of her not going to bed when she was supposed to and that 11pm is far too late for her to be going to bed on a school night (it is sometimes later than this by the time i get her to go). I said that if she wasnt in bed by 8.30pm that she would not be allowed to go to her friends for tea tomorrow night. This was met with a reply of 'so what, i dont care'.
At 8.40pm she was still up and i had by this point told her numerous times to go brush her teeth and get into bed. To which she replied each time with 'no'. I'm ashamed to say that at this point i burst into tears and had to leave the room. She proceeded to turn the music channel on and sing along to whatever it was that was on there.
Eventually after i'd calmed down a little, i went back in to her and said, calmly, please dd i really need you to go to bed now, you have school tomorrow and you need to get some sleep. I'm really fed up with having this every single night and its really starting to upset me. She then started screaming at me and telling me i was a psycho .
Eventually, after many tears from both of us, she agreed to go to bed and i could hear her lying crying for about 15 minutes. I went in and had a chat with her and explained why i had been so upset and that i dont tell her to do things to be a spoilsport, that there is a reason for everything etc.
And now, I sit here typing this feeling like the worst mother in the whole world. I'm surprised my neighbours havent called ss because of the screaming and shouting from both sides .
Please dont flame me for any of this, i really dont think i could cope with that. I left my abusive xp (dd's father) 2 years ago and now it feels as though dd has picked up where he left off and is making my life a misery.
If you have managed to read to the end of this, thank you. Please can anybody offer me any advice? I really don't know what to do