6 month old twins…HELL!

[KatM93]

Thought I’d turn to Mumsnet as I’m literally at my breaking point. I have twin girls nearly 6 months old and feel like it’s not getting any easier. Both girls are rarely happy and I feel like they spend most of their time crying despite me doing my absolute best everyday. I breastfeed both which is a challenge as the smaller twin gets so distracted and bobs on and off so feel like I’m constantly feeding but this would be manageable if I wasn’t so exhausted. They both sleep on my chest overnight (the only way they’ve slept since day 1) which is becoming increasingly difficult with them growing and getting bigger, T1 will wake every 2 hours for a feed and sets off T2, my husband is good and will get up with one while I feed (I hate tandem feeding, it makes them uncomfortable and me overstimulated). I want to try and get them to sleep next to me on the floor bed but every time I try this they wake screaming. I’m so ashamed to say it but I told them I hated them the other night because they wouldn’t settle and I was exhausted. I have a 2 year old too who I often feel like I neglect because of the twins. My husband is good but I find myself lashing out at him. I’m getting to the point that I’ve stopped going out more and more because they just scream crying and hate being in the pram now which is taking a toll on my mental health. I wake up each day with positive thoughts about how the day will go but a couple of hours in and I want to cry. Does anyone have any advice about getting them both down? Or just reassuring words that my babies aren’t unhappy because of me and things will get better?

It sounds like they're using you as a dummy ie latching on to soothe themselves back to sleep. Have you got a dummy for them?

At this stage, you just have to survive. You are doing so well to have brought them to 6 months already!

My sister recently felt this way with her baby and the doctor put her on anti depressants for a while. Not sure if you would also find it worth raising the idea with your doctor.

It's so so hard when you are not getting enough sleep.

I could have written this post 18 months ago. My twins are now 2 (I also have am older DD). The first 7 months were by far the hardest thing I have ever done. I honestly thought there were days I wouldn't survive.

My twins were combi feed but had awful reflux and thus wouldn't lie flat at all. They also cried constantly for the first 6 months. My health visitor actually told me at their 12 month check she has never know a baby let alone 2 cry so much. They would never be put down and had to be held and rocked at all times otherwise they would cry.

Then from 4-5 months they stopped taking the bottle completely and struggling even more than normal with breast feeding. I started to video all the issues with feeding, crying and not being able to be put down.

One day when they were aroind 6 months it felt like they had been continuous crying for 24 hours I literally pushed them in their pram into the GP surgery in tears begging for help. I then showed the GP all of the videos of them. The GP arranged for a telephone appointment with a paediatrican within an hour and a dietician within 24 hours. The outcome was to treat as CMPA with thickeners.

The improvement of this was within a week. They started to feed better and would be put down.

I'm just wondering whether the fact that your twins have to be held upright (like mine) if they have digestion or reflux issues?

Also a strategy my husband and I used (although this was only possible as they were combi fed) was to have separate night shifts. I would have the twins Sunday night to Thursday night. My husband would sleep in the spare room and be on hand for our toddler on these nights. We would then swop on Friday and Saturday nights. Meaning I got 2 nights sleep a week.

We also stopped feeding in the night from 4 months old and they would feed at 11pm ish and then 5am ish. We did monitor their weights very closely whilst doing this too.

It gets better I promise! My twins are now 4 and just started school. The early months are about survival. Do you have a local twin club? I found ours a lifesaver to meet people in the same position. If not, are you on the bf twins and triplets facebook group? Again, a good place for support and to know you’re not alone.

Oh my god you are bloody amazing to have survived as well as you have. Please don't be self-critical. You have an enormous weight on you and of course it's going to be overwhelming at times.

You need as much help as you can get. If you run out of money for paid help and run out of willing relatives for loving help the next thing to try is your nearest college that offers NVQ or other levels of diploma in Childcare Studies or similar as they will usually have a need for placement opportunities for their students to get case study experience. The one near me accepts referrals for new mums who are finding it hard to cope and familes under stress - I think having 3 under 3 should qualify you!