6 month old twins…HELL!

[KatM93]

Thought I’d turn to Mumsnet as I’m literally at my breaking point. I have twin girls nearly 6 months old and feel like it’s not getting any easier. Both girls are rarely happy and I feel like they spend most of their time crying despite me doing my absolute best everyday. I breastfeed both which is a challenge as the smaller twin gets so distracted and bobs on and off so feel like I’m constantly feeding but this would be manageable if I wasn’t so exhausted. They both sleep on my chest overnight (the only way they’ve slept since day 1) which is becoming increasingly difficult with them growing and getting bigger, T1 will wake every 2 hours for a feed and sets off T2, my husband is good and will get up with one while I feed (I hate tandem feeding, it makes them uncomfortable and me overstimulated). I want to try and get them to sleep next to me on the floor bed but every time I try this they wake screaming. I’m so ashamed to say it but I told them I hated them the other night because they wouldn’t settle and I was exhausted. I have a 2 year old too who I often feel like I neglect because of the twins. My husband is good but I find myself lashing out at him. I’m getting to the point that I’ve stopped going out more and more because they just scream crying and hate being in the pram now which is taking a toll on my mental health. I wake up each day with positive thoughts about how the day will go but a couple of hours in and I want to cry. Does anyone have any advice about getting them both down? Or just reassuring words that my babies aren’t unhappy because of me and things will get better?

Not really anything constructive to add-I had a 2 year old and twins and it's the hardest thing I've done in my life. My lot are 10 and 8 now. Just to say it will get easier, I promise. It won't take long but it will get better xx

You are doing amazing. Well done for everything you have done so far. Different breasts can have different levels of milk supply and it’s not uncommon for babies to get a preference for one breast. Pulling off and on and fidgeting about is likely to be the smaller twin trying to stimulate milk to let down faster or increase supply. Try the ‘breastfeeding yummy mummies’ group on Facebook for advice. It probably will get a bit better with weaning too 💐

It's normal to be angry at your husband right now, it's a blip really because it's so hard.

I know it's no real help right now but just know that this will get better. It might take a while but things will get easier.

I think you’re doing an amazing job. If they won’t take a bottle will they take a cup. I had to top my eldest up at about 6 months and as he wouldn’t take a bottle used a cup. Had to try a few different ones

Totally up to u, but speaking as a twin mum myself, I'd stop the breast feeding asap. U can't do everything. You have done more than enough at this point it would defo make ur life so much easier to bottle feed and ur husband/family can help x

Hi OP,
I’m not going to give you any advice but I will say that what you’re going through is immeasurably difficult and how you’re feeling is totally valid. Your children will feel loved even though you have had moments of extreme frustration. I hope you get some help soon and maybe consider reaching out to the infant feeding team at your local hospital for some support?
I’m pumping for a singleton who refused to latch, tongue tie and reflux too… its been the hardest 4 months of my life (no grandparents/family to help me and hubby) - no comparison to your experience but just know you aren’t alone.
Wishing you all of the very best!

Babies won't take a bottle

You're doing such an amazing job 👏 xx

Could you give formula but in a cup so not a bottle?

Start them on some baby rice maybe?

Rather than toddler be shipped off to grandparents alone see if you and her can go for a complete nights sleep and some time together.

I would also admit to your DH and family you are at breaking point and would really welcome any help whatsoever.

Sleep is the hardest thing - have you tried putting them in a cot together, if not maybe try that and soak a couple of muslins - one for each - with your breast milk so they have the warmth and smell they're used to.

I've no experience of twins but had an 18 month age gap and I found that horrendous so whatever you're doing remember you're the only one that's got them to where they are now through your hard work and nourishment. Well done and good luck xx

Hello! I’ve never posted on mums net before but couldn’t read and not comment. I’m a first time mum to twins, now 9 months old and exclusively breastfed. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life, and I can’t imagine adding a toddler into the mix! You are doing incredibly. It does get easier, I know everyone says that but it really does. 6-9 months has been so much better. I live in Liverpool so not too far from you if you ever fancied a twin meet up!

Maybe a training cup instead?

Though they’d probably accept a bottle if they had no other choice.

That sounds tough OP. You have done amazingly to breastfeed two for six months. I would switch to combi feeding or maybe even give up breastfeeding in your situation, honestly. Sorry if that sounds defeatist but I think that would help.

You are a superhero and deep in the thick of the hardest bit.

I think if I'd had twins I'd consider 6m of bf a great achievement and move onto bottle and breast, then bottle tbh.

The posters telling you to stop breastfeeding need to stop it. Switching to formula does not mean that their sleep issues will magically be fixed.

Breastfeeding slowly starts to get easier after six months as they wean and you do it less.

You've done the hardest bit now.

As others have said, you're a superhero.

I held my first son upright to sleep for the first 7 months of his life as he had severe silent reflux. He developed a hernia from it and his mouth and food pipe were covered in ulcers. I have no idea looking back how I did it, but I did.

This is a phase, you will get through it and it will get easier xx

I can’t imagine how hard it is for you. Understand the bottle refusal but can you try a doidy cup? I’m sure that was recommended for friends babies who wouldn’t bottle feed particularly as they start weaning? https://www.doidycups.com

I had twins 2 years after DC1. You have done brilliantly! 💕

I decided that I would bottle feed after weaning so gradually moved over, feed by feed, until they had only bottles at 10 months. ( I had started spoon-feeding solids at 5 months because that is what we did then - got in trouble with the health visitor for leaving it late 🙄)

DC1 was a total PIA so I sleep trained them from the start, and fed them to a routine based on the pattern they usually went for (by keeping everything written down). My whole day was worked out from getting them to bed at 8pm backwards.

DC1 was a bottle refuser. We managed by using a soft spout cup and tipping bits of milk into his mouth until he got the hang of it.

No they don’t, not unless OP comes back and says she wants to continue breastfeeding.

You sound like you’re doing an incredible job and in the absolute trenches right now. I’m so sorry you’re having a hard time. I only have a two year old and I struggle with just her on days.
You mentioned you use a floor bed, is that what you all sleep on or do you just try and move them onto a floor bed during the night?Do you use white noise, dummies?
My little one would only chest sleep with me for the first months with stints in the next2me and as much as I loved the cuddles,I felt just so touched out which made me so angry and stressed at times. Fortunately this changed maybe around 7/8 months and eventually she would comfortably always lay next to me instead of on me and now she likes her own space.
I’m not sure how possible this would be with BF but could you maybe break up the evening sleep with your partner, so you get for e.g 8pm-12am solid sleep where he can take care of the twins and then you take over or whatever times would work for you?

Ah sorry, I never seen this part.
If it's any help I was told by the neo natal team that babies seem to prefer the bottle teets like asdas own (little angels I think it was) just incase OP decides to try them again, although I'm sure they've been been given every bit of advice in the book.
Super woman x

I have twins and it was brutal. Honestly I’ve blocked out the early years as I was so unbelievably tired. It does get easier though, honest.

@KatM93 if you're feeling done with BFing and they are refusing bottles have you tried a cup?

BF vs ones take on average 25 floz in 24 hours so if you can get them to take one or two Floz from a cup, that counts as a feed.

Alternatively can you pick a time DH is around and get him to try bottles and you go out for a walk?

It won't mean that they'll sleep, but it does mean she won't have to sit all day with two babies popping on and off the breast which means she'll be able to get on with stuff that might make her feel a bit more human.

She's done amazingly well to get to this point but considering introducing formula is perfectly valid.

Hi twin mum here. That age is really bloody hard and you're in the thick of it! I can't even imagine baby twins with a toddler so I'd say you're doing amazingly just to get through each day. As a twin mum it's easy to feel you're doing a rubbish job when really it's impossible to do it all. I found feeding really hard when they got distracted too. Bottles seemed to get it into them much more quickly when that happened! Keep going, you're doing brilliantly and it does get easier and life won't always be this hectic! Xxx

Thanks for your messages everyone. I’ll definitely give a cup a try as they start weaning. I hope to carry on breastfeeding for a bit longer, I don’t really mind the breastfeeding I just think it causes problems because I’m chest sleeping with them at the moment and they can probably smell it which makes them want it whenever they stir. I think I’m just going to have to bite the bullet and try and put them down in the bed and take turns with my husband to try and settle them. Being a mum is so hard and some days I honestly feel like giving up 😔 my family are great but live 2hrs away so we don’t get much help. I think it’s all just been building this week and arguing with my husband doesn’t help x

Honestly I've not had twins so don't have much good advice but just wanted to say you sound like you're doing a bloody amazing job!