6 year old eating sweet food in secret

[Toomanyusernamestochoose]

I would love some advice on my 6 year old please. He has been helping himself to sweet food from the kitchen, eating in secret and hiding the packaging.

We used to have a box of sweets/chocolates which the children would receive occasionally and we noticed some missing then later found the wrappers hidden in his room. We explained it was not good for our teeth or bodies to eat so many sweets then removed the box so it was no longer in the house. A few weeks later, he progressed onto climbing on worktops and taking the few biscuits and chocolate we did have from a high cupboard in the kitchen. We did not make a big deal but chose not to replace them when they were finished. When there was little else he could access, he started taking dried fruit from our baking cupboard. This weekend, he climbed on unstable shelves to obtain chocolate spread to eat with a spoon and was having honey by itself this morning. He does this when the rest of the house is asleep and I dread to think of the danger to him had one of the shelves fallen

For background, we aim to feed the children a healthy diet by modelling the habits we want them to develop. We do not eat much biscuits/cakes/sweets ourselves but where we do, they are always offered as well. I don't believe I am really strict but I do not give unrestricted access to food containing sugar as they cannot self regulate yet. We regularly talk about which foods are good for our bodies, help them grow etc and put the focus on this rather than demonising the foods we should eat less of.

I am confident it is not a hunger thing as food is not restricted. He is allowed as much as he wants for all meals, I send a packed lunch which contains all food groups - this comes home eaten but not entirely finished so I know he has more than he needs. The children have open access to all food within their reach - fruit, nuts, cheese, crackers, home made snacks are the types of food they can help themselves to at any time of the day without asking permission.

He is of a normal weight, healthy and very active. I am not concerned about weight gain in the short term but want to nip this in the bud before it starts to cause longer term issues. How do I approach this as calm conversations have achieved absolutely nothing?

Thanks @JollyTallTeddy and @RB68. Relatives are another challenge in themselves (and could make another entire thread!). I came to the conclusion the children are old enough to understand house rules are different everywhere and just because grandparents/aunts etc give them certain foods does not mean they get them at home. Maybe I do need to try redirect though

@LoneAndLoco I have never said we don't eat, I specifically said we rarely eat. There is a big difference. A single jar of chocolate spread (used for pancakes every now and then) and honey (for cooking) really does not imply us eating sugar everyday.

Thanks @Chessfan - I totally hear you with changing taste buds. I didnt have the love for fresh veg and salad that I have today when I was a child

@MrsPelligrinoPetrichor I know no-one said to lock him in his room but we can't lock our kitchen. There is no kitchen door! It is open plan with just a pocket sliding door between the bottom of the stairs and the kitchen. There is no way to put a lock on that door

Thanks @Renamed, you and other posters are giving me hope this will resolve eventually and not lead to a life of disordered eating

I did this too and it was often out of boredom OP. Especially if adults were busy/distracted and I didnt have anything to do. I’d get the “snack” urge and , at that age didnt know how to distract myself from it so I’d just go for whatever is available.

I went through a phase of doing this too when I was about 9. I used to climb on a chair to reach the biscuits (put out of my reach because I'd eat the whole packet). I even stole money from my mum's purse (pennies in those days) to buy a penny mix up from the local shop. I also used to sneak glace cherries from her baking supplies and actually ate a whole tub once. This was the early 60's and my mum used to smack me across the back of the legs. It stopped me for a while but I soon reverted. After about a year I grew out of it and from then on didn't have a particularly sweet tooth. Maybe it's a common phase at that age?

Thank you all so much for sharing your experiences of doing the same when you were younger, it has given me so much reassurance.

I have read countless posts from people who have put obesity/eating disorders down to their parents restricting them or perpetuating unhealthy habits which continued into adulthood. There are also so many posters who repeatedly maintain that children not being able to self regulate sugar intake is the parents’ fault which left me terrified for my child’s future based on the last 5 months.

It is so helpful to know that children do grow out of it and into healthy habits as they get older.

I do believe he is seeking the dopamine hit from the sugar, possibly out of boredom as has been mentioned. There isn’t anything to suggest ADHD right now in terms of his other behaviours. I’m aware this could change

I will speak to my husband and try work out what is the best consistent approach to have whilst also keeping in mind there are others in the house who do want occasional sweet foods and it’s not fair to have an absolute ban