Empty nest!

[whishwhish]

My daughter has just left for university and has Freshers Week before study starts on Monday. At first she FaceTimed and answered texts, and she is still answering some texts but says she's v busy. I know I'm being unreasonable and need to adjust but do others find their children are not in contact loads. I've heard from her every day and know I should be grateful for that, but am so missing being a greater part of her life. A friend's daughter is ringing, FTing, sending photos, texting... What's your experience?

My Daughter goes to university in 2 weeks & I just cant seem to concentrate on much.
She is looking forward to going & she said I can go & visit & she will stay in touch.
I just dont like being on my own at all.

I cant belive how quick it has come round.
My Daughter goes to university this Friday.
I support her going but the coming home to a mt house is going to be so lonely as it just me.
It is only 2 hours away that is what I keep telling myself but my anxiety is there at the moment as I am going to miss her so much.
I have wrote a letter to her to open when I leave saying I am proud of her & I hope she will contact me & let me visit her.
She is really looking forward to it but I am dreading being on my own as I am a widower after loosing my wife 6 years ago.
I hope the lonyness gets better.

@Geoffc I had an empty nest one year after being widowed and yes it was hard. But I was determined not to be like one of my relatives who was so sad and needy that her daughter ended up giving up her university place away from home and enrolling at a local university instead! Filling your time with interesting group stuff is a good strategy - you'll enjoy yourself hopefully, you'll have something to talk about with your daughter when she gets in touch, and she won't worry about you. My children are both adults living their lives now, and I'm so glad that they are. Wishing you luck as you navigate this new normal.

DS's uni is 3 hours away. When he first went last year, DH and I had something planned for every weekend, just to keep busy. We also knew he would be coming home for a swim meet part way through the term. The hardest part was coming home after dropping him off. However, he phoned us a couple of days later and was so happy, we breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed! I'll be honest, he did have a couple of wobbles during the year, but he's really thrived and is looking forward to going back next week. He tends to Facetime us once a week and sends the odd text every now and again.

We've barely seen him this summer as he spent three months doing Camp America and has only been home for a couple of weeks. The adjustment is hard when he comes home as we've all become used to doing our own thing. It feels like, just as we all get used to each other again, he's off again. But he's happy and that's the main thing.

I'm sorry you're feeling like this, Geoff. It's good you're sharing it in here. Have you had time to find out about any local groups you could join? A walking group, or local group that meets to share hobbies or anything?

I still work full time and am going down to 4 days every other week at the beginning of October am trying to find things to keep me occupied at the weekends.
I think evenings will be the worst as coming in to a mt house.
I am really hoping my Daughter keeps in touch & would love her to share her journey with me a phone call would lift me considerably.

I am sorry for your loss I will keep posting on here as all your suggestions will help me think of things that I haven't thought off.

One DS has just started his third year in Canada. He’s in his second week of lectures and we’ve had a couple of calls and a few texts. I’ve asked him to send a few photos. And I’m going to ask him to send some selfies too. We aren’t sure if he’s coming home at Christmas…. He’s loving it which is great. Sunday FaceTime calls are to be encouraged!

second DS is about to start at Bristol. He’s not great at keeping in touch so we will see…. Again hopefully a minimum of a weekly call and a few texts…

Im going to find it quite tough as currently not working. An incentive to look harder.

I took my Daughter to university today which is about 2 hours away from me.
And that was 1 of the hardest things I have had to do & coming home by myself & coming into a empty house is heartbreaking 💔.
I miss her so much so much.

So this is my first full day without my Daughter after she arrived at university yesterday & I have tried to keep busy pottering about.
But this loneliness is horrible.
A few people have said pop round for a cup of tea but I don't like to impose on people.

Sorry still trying to find my way round this site to reply to all the advice etc.
I dropped her off yesterday & the drive home was awful.
Today is the first full day have been on my own & I have had a few messages & phone calls.
But the loneliness is horrible.
Some friends have said come for a cup of tea but I dont like to impose.

I don't think it would be imposing at all, Geoff - because they've invited you! Definitely take them up on their kind offers, and get some company at the same time. You are going to feel strange and lonely in the house on your own initially, so it's important to start doing a few different things. that's great and really encouraging that you're daughter is keeping in touch

Thanks whishwhish ·
I have been contacting my Daughter as it helps with the loneliness but I understand I need to let her alone which is so hard.
It is coming home to the empty house.
That is horrible.

It has been nearly a week since my Daughter left for university & it so quiet to quiet here with just me & my Dog Max.
I am so looking forward to visiting her in a couple of weeks.
I am getting a few phone calls & messages which is nice.
I am desperately trying not to be a pain but I do drop her text asking how she is & is she setting in ok.

Mine did speak to me for two weeks - it was her way of dealing with feeling homesick - when I called she cried. So I respected her views and she settled in.