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Parenting

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Original poster

Teacher wants his hair cut

77 replies

MrsSnape · 20/04/2008 20:50

I posted on here a while ago asking for opinions on my sons hair, I wanted to cut it, he wanted to have it long...you all sided with him and so he got to keep his "cool surfer dude" hair lol

Thing is he doesn't have the best reputation at school and he's always in trouble, simply refuses to do any work and spends his time messing around, being cheeky and disrupting the class.

The teacher has now said that his hair should be cut as when the front goes over his eyes it makes him lose concentration even more I'm sure she wouldn't say this about a girl's hair.

So do I continue to send him to school with his long hair as he likes it and risk being seen as a bad parent who encourages bad behaviour or get it cut to keep teacher happy?

OP posts:

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fishie · 20/04/2008 21:17

lillymolly we are answering the question we have been asked. The other information is background as to why the teacher is making this rather silly request.

OverMyDeadBody · 20/04/2008 21:19

Yes lilly, we're discussing hairstyles because that's what the op asked for opinions on.

ButterflyMcQueen · 20/04/2008 21:24

regardless of his behaviour i would no way cut his hair

the teacher would not comment on a girls hair

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seeker · 20/04/2008 21:27

I think long hair should be tied back for school - it's a work place and people sould dress appropriately for it. And I also think that having hair hanging over their eyes is distracting for children, and makes it hard for them to concentrate. And I ALSO think that if the school has a rule about hair it should be kept, particularly if the child concerned is inclined to be disruptive anyway. Whatever you do , don't side with the child against the school over something like this!

End of boring old fart rant.

southeastastra · 20/04/2008 21:30

well lots of children get in trouble at that age.

Heated · 20/04/2008 21:35

I teach at a school which is tight on uniform but relaxed on hairstyles, but if it's long it has to be tied back just for practical reasons.

Cutting it would depend in part too on how old my child was and whether this was part of the school rules that we signed up to by sending dc there.

juuule · 20/04/2008 21:36

"don't side with the child against the school over something like this!"
Whyever not? The hair isn't the issue. The behaviour might be but not really the hair. It also hasn't been established that there is a school rule about hair. It's the teacher who is saying that it should be cut.

Original poster

MrsSnape · 20/04/2008 21:39

its not school rules, there is a boy in the class with hair down to his bum. His parents are bikers and Im pretty sure the teachers wouldn't suggest a short back and sides for him!

OP posts:

seeker · 20/04/2008 21:51

Oh well, if it's not school rules that's different - I thought all schools had rules about hair. All the ones round here do.

But I do think that if a child is being generally a pain in the neck (and sorry, Mrs Snape, but that's how always in trouble,messing around, cheeky and disruptive sounds to me) and the school wants his hair cut, I would be inclined to go along with the school. I think that, unless there is obviously something unfair going on, then parents and teachers should be on the same side. Maybe the other children with long hair are less disruptive?

juuule · 20/04/2008 21:53

Why on earth would him having his hair cut improve his behaviour. I would have thought that if it was cut against his wishes he would become worse. Or is it supposed to be a punishment

seeker · 20/04/2008 21:59

Of course getting his hair cut wouldn't improve his behaviour - he's not Samson! (or whoever it was!)

But knowing that his parents side with him against the school in one area will make him think they will do the same in other areas. And if he is cheeky, messing about and disruptive then that needs to be stopped - and quickly. If he was a model pupil then I would say let him have sky blue pink hair if the school rules allow.....!

juuule · 20/04/2008 22:03

Perhaps the focus should be on the other areas that might make a difference and which might make more sense rather than on his hair which doesn't really.

lilymolly · 20/04/2008 22:26

I am quite aware that the op was asking a question about hair and yes prob school should not make an issue out of it, but when I read the op I thought that maybe the op should concentrate on her misbehaving child rather than his hair.

If I described my child like that I think I would be doing something about it, and if that means cutting his fecking hair as punshment then I would tie him down and grap the nearest pair of scissors,

no wonder the teacher is pissedoff with his hair, sounds like he hiding behind it to be honest.

If he was an angel and getting straight "A" s then let him dye it pink for all I care, the point is you need to deal with the behaviour

cornsilk · 20/04/2008 22:32

So well behaved chn can have long hair but not naughty ones? That sounds fair.

lilymolly · 20/04/2008 22:34

oh you are missing the point completley.

yes let him have his own way, and everything wil remain as normal.

Can I ask each of you 1 question

if there a boy/girl in your dcs classroom who was

"Thing is he doesn't have the best reputation at school and he's always in trouble, simply refuses to do any work and spends his time messing around, being cheeky and disrupting the class"

would you be happy?

themildmanneredjanitor · 20/04/2008 22:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lilymolly · 20/04/2008 22:35

hear hear janitor

nkf · 20/04/2008 22:36

I think the teacher and (sorry) are worrying about the wrong thing. If the school doesn't have a hair policy, then forget about that and concentrate on the behaviour. Of course he might be using his hair in a disruptive way. Sounds mad I know but I'm thinking of preening and combing it and refusing to put the comb away. But concentrate on the behaviour I'd say.

Heated · 20/04/2008 22:40

It depends on how the issue is presented and only the OP can say.

If it's a defiant metaphorical one fingered salute at the teacher/school then not good. On the other hand if this is just a suggestion, child doesn't fancy it, it doesn't infringe any rules, then no big deal.

But I would insist dc tie it back.

Can I ask how old dc is? (If you've said somewhere I've missed it)

themildmanneredjanitor · 20/04/2008 22:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Janni · 20/04/2008 22:41

If your son knows his teacher wants him to cut his hair, you have a problem on your hands. If you go against the teacher's request you are giving your boy a message about picking and choosing how he behaves in school. I think parents should (generally) comply with teachers' requests if they want their children to respect their authority in the classroom.

brimfull · 20/04/2008 22:43

I agree with Janni

very well said

lucyellensmum · 20/04/2008 22:43

This is a difficult one. If he were well behaved and they were asking this i would be inclined to tell them in the politest manner to keep their beaks out. However this is more difficult. I think that he should be told he MUST clip it back in class, or considerably improve his behaviour. Of course the hair will add to his kudos as "the lad" in school. I dont think the school can insist on it being cut, as you say they wouldnt do it for a girl. I guess they see ther hair, and they could be right, as a form of rebellion - maybe they could concentrate on engaging him more??

lucyellensmum · 20/04/2008 22:45

does he have problems with his work that are being seen as bad behaviour and this is shifting from the fact that the problems are there?

seeker · 20/04/2008 22:45

HE"S 7???? I thought we were talking about a teenager!

OK - hair cut, and no computer games, TV or anything else electronic until he's earned them back by perfect behaviour at school.

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