Just turned 36 and considering a second child but worried I'm too old

[Joeylove88]

Just that really...I am nervous about being pregnant as I see so much about risks over 35 so want to hear any positive stories or any advice about being 36/37 having another child. My DD is nearly two and I always wanted a 3/4 year age gap. My partner is 40 and is more than happy with Just having 1 but I already waited long enough for him to be ready for DD so don't want to wait much longer if I'm going to go for it!
Anyone else in this situation?

I had my second at 36, absolutely no issues! In my NCT group, I was the youngest Mum by a few years! All babies healthy and thriving!!
Go for it!

i'm 36 and pregnant with my second kid. If i'm honest it never occurred to me that this is "too old". Loads of people have children at this age.

Think about in the past when women would have like 15 children. They must have been reproducing at quite an advanced age too.

I think it’s the ideal age, not at all old for a second child

I had my only child at 40. Conceived first month and perfectly straightforward pregnancy. DS is 12 and beautiful. I think a significant difference is that I didn’t have a previous child to tire me out.

My mum had me, her first, at age 37 and my brother at age 39. Two very normal pregnancies and deliveries!

I don't say this to downplay any risks or anything else, but I just mean that I don't think having babies at that age is particularly unusual. My parents were a similar age to some of my friends' parents when I was at school, for example. Obviously they were older than some, but they didn't stand out as the oldest.

I was 35 when I had my first. No problems at all.

Lots of other mums I know had DC in their mid to late 30s.

I had my second at 36. Easy pregnancy, healthy baby, no issues. Conceived first month of trying. No one mentioned my age, not midwife, not consultant (I went for an elective section or I would have just been on standard pathway), and I didn't really think anything of it. I was 33 when I had DD1 and I almost felt too young

I just had my second at 37 - DD2 is 5months. DD1 is 3yrs old and DH is 40. This pregnancy was much harder than my first but that could be down to having a toddler rather than age! I did have preeclampsia this time, but I had high blood pressure with DD1, so I don't necessarily think it was just age that made the difference. I'm in London but nearly every mum I know had their first in mid thirties and second in late thirties / early forties.

Not currently in the situation but I had my three aged 34, 35 (nearly 36!) and 40.

All perfectly healthy pregnancies and C-section deliveries. I did have two mcs between 2 and 3.

I don’t think people really see 35 as an upper age like they used to. If your health and lifestyle are generally good and your first pregnancy went well it seems the ideal time.

I'm 38 with a 1 year old. Partner is 41. We had no issues conceiving and have a perfectly happy, healthy little boy.

Partner was worried at first that he would be too old to have another child (he has a child from a previous relationship) but he's enjoyed being dad to a tiny human again. So much so that he's trying to convince me to have another 🤣

I'm happy with our child and my stepson though.

I would never think of 36 as too old to have another baby, perfectly normal age.

God I had my first at 36.
if I have a second I’ll be 40. I think health has a big part of it as I think if I have baby at 40 I’ll be ok but it’s just the being tired I hate!

I had my one and only at 28 and felt very young. Almost 10 years later, I have to be honest, I’d like another but I’m absolutely fucking knackered (single mum, work full on job full time) and I’m nowhere near as physically healthy as I was first time round- so I’ve made the decision that if the chance arises, I now won’t have another.

Thats not to say I’m objectively too old, but I feel too knackered, and just can’t imagine finding the energy to have another baby now. Which is sad. I feel really gutted about it, but I have to prioritize my responsibilities to my existing child.

I am a single parent though. I think if I were in a relationship I’d possibly feel better placed to cope.

Definitely not too old - but don't put it off if this is something you want! I had 4 easy pgs, two in my 20s then one at aged 31 and one aged 35. Fell pg fast and all 4 went well.

At 37, i had my first mc. Then i went on to have multiple early mcs between 37 and 39.

Had tests (DH and me) Nothing wrong - just my old eggs!

Had a final healthy pg at 40. We never wanted any more after that anyway, 40 was the limit for me but there was a huge difference between my body's ability to carry a baby to term pre 35 and after it.

My story had a happy ending (and we never tried at your exact age of 36!)

As for energy levels though once you are pg - piece of cake! I was in Florida when my 5th was just 9weeks old with the whole family, feeling great. Couldn't have done that after my first! I had absolutely no bother at all once i was pg. Worked til 39 weeks (childminder) and was back at work 2 days after return from Florida. 11 weeks post partum.

@Anisty good to hear some positive story at having baby at 40. I am on the fence so I am unsure but if I do have a second it will be when I am 40/41, I feel healthy enough, but see what happen

36 is definitely not too old! had my kids at 37 (almost 38) and 41. Absolutely fine, no issues with either of them and pregnancy was wonderful. I had trouble conceiving my youngest (not age related - I had a clotting issue) so it was later than I’d planned but I’m not an outlier amongst my friends at all. It was tiring when they were little babies but I think that the mums 10 years younger than me were just as tired too!

I had my first at 36 and my second at 41. Definitely not too old. The age profile in my mothers' groups was all over 30 and closer to 35+.

I had my first at 35 and currently up with my 3-week old at 38 :) I'm working on accepting that we're likely going to stick at 2 children, as I think I personally might be too tired at 41/42 for another round of pregnancy, etc! However, as many pps have said, 35-40 is a very normal time to have a child. I don't feel too old at all!

I had my 2nd at 37. All completely straightforward. I definitely didn’t feel too old. It’s still quite young. There was a woman in my pregnancy yoga class having her 4th at 45.

I don't think 36 is high risk and it certainly not isn't 'old' these days

Well I had first at 37 and second at 40, without any effort.
I know this isn’t everyone’s story, but I married at 36, and 6months later we were pregnant.
i had hoped to have second before 40 so that the hospital wouldn’t want additional monitoring etc, but I didn’t quite manage that.

both pregnancies were uneventful.

Also I think your perspective is really affected by the age of mothers in your local area, my kids friends parents are mostly my age, so don’t feel at all unusual.

my pal who lives 10miles away is surrounded by much younger parents and feels old at 40

I was almost 44 when gave birth. Frozen embryo from when i was 41

Mini blondes now 7

No health worries in her at all

Think my downs was 1 in 500 due to my age

Preg was tough going as had hg and edema but worth it to have a baby

You are def not too old

Thank you everyone for your replies. I think my fears are a mix of judging myself irrationally, and wondering if it's selfish to have another baby at 36/37 which actually is ridiculous because I definitely don't feel old and I live a healthy and active lifestyle. But also it's all the things you read online and others around me that seem to all be rushing to have babies by a certain age (most people I know usually by 35 but not everyone) I think it can easily can get into your head even though I was 33 when I conceived my first and felt very confident in myself i could do it. I will feel truly grateful and lucky to be able to have a second child I never take for granted how lucky I already am 🥰

@Anisty I was going to say my friend had her 2nd at age 41 and has no regrets as she always wanted 2 children and she had hers later for circumstantial reasons.