How to make the school run easier?

[Clumsy12345]

Im really struggling with the school run, my daughter left school two years ago but i still have younger ones at the school. It was fine when she was at the school as they allowed us to leave early (she’s autistic and struggles with noise and crowds) but now she’s left we have to collect at the usual time same as everyone else, the issue with this is the school is a bus ride away and the bus is so busy after school like really bad, my daughter hates it and gets upset and stressed with the crowds and how busy and noisy the bus is she often kicks off over it. I dread every day as I hate doing the pick ups, it was fine when she could leave early as the bus wasn’t busy as it was before the school run and all the rush but now it’s so bad you can’t even move and have to stand between the doors in everyone’s way it’s causing her (and me!) so much anxiety, I even walk down several bus stops to avoid the crowds at the bus stop because lots of mums go to the one by the school with their kids just to go one stop so the bus stop is always heaving so we have to walk a couple of bus stops back but the bus itself is still busy as there is another school before ours. she won’t walk home she refuses to its a huge steep hill which is why none of the other parents walk either (I suspect hyper mobility as people have suggested it to me as she struggles to walk far) there is no way she would walk home. does anyone else have any other advice of suggestions to make it easier? as it’s really making me dread every day I dont want to go out 😭 it’s really depressing me and not sure what else to do how I can make it easier? I’ve thought about every alternative really so I’m just seeing if there is something I’ve not thought about though I doubt it. It doesn’t matter if we miss buses it’s still busy due to the amount of people so missing 1/2 makes no difference we missed 2 yesterday and it was just as bad.

How many stops is it? If an adult is seeing them onto the bus then I don't think it's too young for them to just sit on a bus for a few stops until you meet them at the last stop?

Although you'd need a new work around for next year when the 10 year old was at secondary?

No I don’t have know any parents well enough I can ask to collect them and the parents that get on the bus aren’t ones from my kids class anyway as I don’t know any of them 10 and 7 is too young to travel on the bus alone.

How about bit going home straightaway. To to a park, cafe, library, walk and then get a quieter bus one hour later. Or the younger kids can go to ASC.

There is no cafe or library it’s on a housing estate with a park but that is busy after school also.

Have you clearly told the new head of your struggles in that case? They might support you by paying towards/give you spaces at the after school clubs or organise something with the family liaison officer to use a taxi to get them home.

What about community outreach and organisations places like Young Carers your children would be eligible for , they may have someone able to help.

I know it will cost money but you could look to see if there are any childminders in the area that do pick ups from the school? They could pick up your children and take them to their house and you collect from there? As they wouldn't be having them for long it hopefully shouldn't cost too much and may avoid the busy school route.

Thanks all I am just going to try a further away stop today and hope for the best. By the time it gets to our stop there is loads of mum’s with prams etc that’s why we had to walk down as they started to do the same and walk to the stop we was getting on at (to also beat the crowds) so we had to start walking even further down but it’s just so busy at that time of day it’s a school with 700 children so not a small school. I will try to walk further back if she gets a seat she isn’t too bad

I wouldn’t leave a 7 and 10 year old on the bus alone 10 year old not too bad but not responsible for a 7 year old he wouldn’t be allowed to take her home alone anyway so would cause issues if the school found out.

Is the school the nearest one to you? Can you move the dc to a school witihin walking distance?

I'd walk towards home, and then catch the bus at whatever stop she can't walk anymore. That way you're on the bus for less time and over time she may be able to go one more stop, one more stop. How far away is home?

@Clumsy12345

how long would the afternoon school run take you if you were to do it without your eldest?

how far is it?

I appreciate you don't know the parents well but I'm sure if you asked someone would be willing to pick them up and bring them back to yours, if the school is that big surely someone is doing the same journey?

Either that or is there someone you could get to watch your daughter at home?

If you don't have anyone to ask like friends, family or neighbours then I really think it's a good idea to start trying to find some paid help. You need some people to help spread the load.

The 10yr old is not too young to take the bus, especially if you are walking them to the bus stop and picking them up from there. A mature 10 year old would also be able to look after the 7 year old for the ride. Kids regularly take the service bus here from P3.

For someone who is asking for help, you seem to be shooting down every possible suggestion, so what exactly is the magic answer you’re after? I don’t think MN will give you it

Every day? I doubt it? I think most people wouldn’t have someone that can collect or watch their kids every single day. I’m a lone parent most people I know and friends are working during the day or have their own kids to collect.

It isn’t allowed I’ve already explained it isn’t allowed my kids school doesn’t allow children to collect siblings until they are 16. I would not allow my 10 year old to bring my 7 year old home alone on the bus we live in a rough area and again it wouldn’t be allowed if the school found out that would cause massive issues we live in a city kids here are not allowed to come home alone till year 6 so the 10 old isn’t a problem he cannot bring the 7 year old home though

Takes around an hour

Why wouldn't a parent collect every day, my mum used to take another child home and drop them off to school most days when I was a kid. If they are going that way anyway it really isn't any extra work for them?

I think you've sadly got it into your head that no idea will work so you're just saying no to everything. Sometimes if you ask for help you'd be surprised at how many people will happily offer.

That could possibly work I could try that and see how it goes

I’ve already said no parents from either kids class live near us so no they will not bring them home every day I don’t know the other parents who do get the bus they are from different years / classes and they are not in DDs or DS class who get the bus, I imagine there would be a huge thread of people saying what a CF I was if someone posted that a mum she doesn’t know and isn’t friends with and her kids Aren’t in the same class has asked them to pick up my kids every day and bring them home

https://www.gov.uk/free-school-transport

That seems like quite a distance, would you be eligible for any help with school transport?

Sorry the whole thing takes around an hour so waiting for the bus getting there and collecting them waiting for the bus back it’s about half an hour there so don’t think that would qualify but will take a look.

Oh no this sounds tough. I completely sympathise with you as my son also has autism and I have absolutely struggled when I have to take him to collect his siblings from school too. How old and tall is she? Could she possibly go in a wheel chair wearing ear defenders and a safe feeling/ weighted blanket/ or head phones with an iPad on her lap to try and block out the world as much as she can? I can sometimes get away with doing this with my son, but he is in year 7 so younger than your daughter, as I'm aware she won't fit in a disability stroller anymore. Does she get high rate mobility? If not, is this something you could appeal and then get yourself some driving lessons and then your own car through motability to avoid all this? Have you got a disability SW where you could ask for them to get her a personal budget or something where someone could take her out for an hour at the school run time or sit inside with her? Or how about talking to the school, telling them how much this impacting her and you're struggling, can not afford the after school club and coming to a solution with the school on how to get around it.

Could you ask someone who lives near you to bring them home for a small fee a week? Have you tried posting on next door. I often see car sharing / lift requests on my next door app for school runs. Maybe someone is passing anyway who would be willing to help. Hope you get it resolved x

How far is the walk? What about getting a second hand mobility scooter for your eldest? Would she be capable of riding on one? That way she doesn't have to walk far but avoids the bus?

Thank you, yes she gets hrc dla but lrm, I do personally believe she is entitled to hrm but I know there is only 2 paths for this which are difficult with autism vuw which wouldn’t apply and SMI which I think she falls into but I need to meet every point on the flow chart and as she is home educated I can’t evident every point. I don’t want to mess around with her award as she was only awarded hrc this year after only ever getting mrc since she was 5 so was surprised to be given hrc as I didn’t have any proof of nighttime needs even though she does have them I only sent a copy of her ehcp.