How to make the school run easier?

[Clumsy12345]

Im really struggling with the school run, my daughter left school two years ago but i still have younger ones at the school. It was fine when she was at the school as they allowed us to leave early (she’s autistic and struggles with noise and crowds) but now she’s left we have to collect at the usual time same as everyone else, the issue with this is the school is a bus ride away and the bus is so busy after school like really bad, my daughter hates it and gets upset and stressed with the crowds and how busy and noisy the bus is she often kicks off over it. I dread every day as I hate doing the pick ups, it was fine when she could leave early as the bus wasn’t busy as it was before the school run and all the rush but now it’s so bad you can’t even move and have to stand between the doors in everyone’s way it’s causing her (and me!) so much anxiety, I even walk down several bus stops to avoid the crowds at the bus stop because lots of mums go to the one by the school with their kids just to go one stop so the bus stop is always heaving so we have to walk a couple of bus stops back but the bus itself is still busy as there is another school before ours. she won’t walk home she refuses to its a huge steep hill which is why none of the other parents walk either (I suspect hyper mobility as people have suggested it to me as she struggles to walk far) there is no way she would walk home. does anyone else have any other advice of suggestions to make it easier? as it’s really making me dread every day I dont want to go out 😭 it’s really depressing me and not sure what else to do how I can make it easier? I’ve thought about every alternative really so I’m just seeing if there is something I’ve not thought about though I doubt it. It doesn’t matter if we miss buses it’s still busy due to the amount of people so missing 1/2 makes no difference we missed 2 yesterday and it was just as bad.

Take all weather gear, a flask and snack to eat and go to the park after school even after 30 mins or so the buses will be clear. In terms of her hypermobility would a scooter / trike with a handle depending on ability (you can get adult size ones) work to reduce stress on her joints.
Anker sound core noise cancelling headphones for the noise from Amazon, they are often on sale for £35.
Alternatively are there after-school clubs those children could go to and pick up afterwards.

Can’t use a scooter as it’s up hill and she won’t ride it up nor a bike no one does because of how steep it is most people I’ve seen come off and wheel the bikes up. She is too big for a trike as she’s a teen I wouldn’t be able to push her up it. Park is not an option as there is only one small one and it’s again packed after school, we tried yesterday hoping it would be empty as it was raining but nope it was packed so she wanted to leave after 5 minutes.

I really feel for you.

Can you drive? Silly question, I know be because I'm sure you'd use the car. If not, can you start lessons so you can learn to drive? 90% of your worries would be over if you could possibly learn.

Could you ask the school if your child could leave 15 minutes earlier because of this issue?

Is there anyone that could look after your autistic child whilst you collect you child from school?

Is there anyone else that could collect your school aged child? Even if you pay them?

Does she get DLA or other funding? This sounds like the perfect use of it for a taxi instead of a bus for you all then. Or a personal assistant / support worker who can stay with her whilst you do the school run

She does get dla but that goes on other things and cabs would cost £200 a month 😳

I’m a lone parent so no unfortunately no one else to collect. Driving is not a possibility I’m not working as DDs full time carer and she is home educated.

Are there any extra curricular clubs after school that the younger ones could go to so that you're picking them up at a quieter time? Even if it's only a couple of days a week?

Or is there a bus that goes in the opposite direction that you could go for a few stops then pick up the next bus home from further up? (Or would that mean you have to pay twice, in which case not ideal)

There is an after school club but it would be £80 a week for both children to attend. I think there is no real solution that isn’t going to cost a lot of money that I don’t have. I guess today we will try to walk back even further to get the bus at an even early stop than we already do

How old is your DD? could you not leave her at home while you go the school run?

There’s buses in opposite directions but that one is worst tbh as that’s the one closer to our house and we live by a secondary school so it already is filled with secondary school children by the time it reaches us

No she’s autistic and cannot be left alone she requires constant supervision she can’t be safely left home alone.

Can you walk down to the stop before the busy one and get on before the school kids

@Clumsy12345 how old are the children your picking up? Was your older dd at the same school? When you was picking up your older dd slightly earlier was yiu also picking up your younger children at the same time?

We already do this I mentioned in my post we actually walk down 2 stops but there is another primary school before ours

Yes I collected all the children early at 3 o’clock when she was at the school so missed the rush. The school understood the problems I was having after school with her so was happy for her to be picked up early. The other children are 10 and 7

Universal credit would refund you large proportion of the cost of after school club by the sounds of your financial situation. I think after school club could be a positive solution for you.

Have you talked to school about picking up early again even if your older child isn't there?

What are school saying, they will know what help and resources are perhaps available. Maybe the younger siblings would be entitled to school transport? At the least they should be allowed out earlier so you can travel at a quieter time.

Could another parent see the younger ones onto the bus with them, and you collect from thur stop your end?

I’m not working I’m a full time carer and get carers allowance so they would not

Could another parent collect them and walk them back or put them on the bus?

10 and 7 is too young for them to get the bus alone

So they know your older dd and the problems you face . That has not changed really. So I would speak to the school and explain. And see if younger ones can leave slightly earlier.

No they don’t unfortunately this is a new head teacher as is the deputy head new she has been here a year they do not know my daughter at all a lot of the staff have changed in the last 2 years she was there. I know the old head teacher would have allowed it she was very understanding of our situation but it is not allowed anymore.