Is this really terrible of me to feed my child on.

[randomrainbows]

2 children, oldest is autistic, has extremely restrictive eating who eats the same meals at the same times every day, which doesn't include any hot food at all. Youngest who will eat anything and everything put to him.

Youngest has school dinners so has a hot meal at lunch every day. I've made his tea tonight which consists off, ham, chicken breast (prepacked not fresh cooked), some cheese chunks, raw carrot, raw sugar snap peas and some toast. He'll then have a mix of fruit, raspberries, strawberries, grapes, apple with a yoghurt if he fancies it, not always.

My mums been round and is appalled I've not made him another hot meal. I eat a hot meal at work, sometimes I may cook something at home like fish and veg or chicken and veg and my youngest will have that, but if I'm not eating then he tends to have the cold plate of various things similar to above. He loves it and would often chose this is given the option.

Is this acceptable for evening meal having eaten a hot dinner at school? Today was roast dinner so he had chicken, veg and potatoes with a pudding. I feel guilty now that he's not had a hot meal.

It's fine

Lots of kids have dinner at school and cold tea at home. It's fine.

Sounds absolutely fine! I'd try not to do the ham too often as it's carcinogenic (nitrites) but every now and then will be fine.

Sounds lovely. I do this quite often for my kids, we call it picnic dinner and they love it.

Ham, packed chicken and cheese are all high salt processed foods, and the ham/chicken will be high in nitrates. I wouldn't recommend them too often for a child.
Hot processed food wouldn't be more nutritious but if you're cooking some chicken thighs or something one day why not put a couple extra in so you can both have them cold the next day? Probably cheaper than ham and packaged chicken and just as easy.

Why does it need to be hot? I don’t get it. In lots of countries eg Germany it’s hot meal at lunch and cold meal in the evening. Absolutely nothing wrong with it!

As a Mother of three and 2 of them were very tricky to feed ..not autistic but PITA to feed .
I actually used to take my daughter who had chronic tonsillitis,to Sainsbury’s,stick her in a trolley and go straight to the doughnut section to get calories into her . The other child had reflux and all he ate for ages was chicken nuggets, bananas and cheese ! I was more than aware that their diet was rubbish but as a Mother I just needed to get food into them 🤷‍♀️
Both thriving as adults ,fit and successful.
OP just don’t worry,it is how it is and hot food is not necessarily more nutritious.X

This.

I've made his tea tonight which consists off, ham, chicken breast (prepacked not fresh cooked), some cheese chunks, raw carrot, raw sugar snap peas and some toast. He'll then have a mix of fruit, raspberries, strawberries, grapes, apple with a yoghurt if he fancies it, not always

I almost never eat cold food by choice but even I can see that's nutritionally better than many hot meals that you could have given him. Would she have preferred him to have nuggets and chips?

No of course it’s fine. Does your mother regularly disapprove of things by any chance?!

Not only is cold food not less nutritious, sometimes it’s more nutritious as cooking can deplete the nutrients. Regardless, your boy’s dinner sounds great - I’m sure your mum means well but you have nothing to worry about!

I saw a video of a big dog - like a Setter or a Lab- that wouldn’t eat it’s dinner unless the owner put its bowl up on the counter and pretend-seasoned it with several condiments and lots of stirring and then pretend-microwaved it - before the dog would agree to eat it. 😂
Maybe you could try this with grandma, @randomrainbows— just pretend to heat it.

The issue we had wasn’t cold or hot meals, it was our dad refusing to eat before 8pm. Most nights my sister and I wouldn’t finish with the dishes until 9:30 or even 10pm. I hated that.

Yes! A lot, most things I do are usually not done right! My house is never clean/tidy enough.. I'm not organised enough. Most things I brush off as my house is clean and tidy.. just not between 5-7 on school evenings as I'd rather be with the kids than just trying to tidy around them constantly, it's all done when they go to bed. But, something play on my mind and make me question myself.

Regrettably, I can vouch for this and I’ve been in many school canteens during lunch time.

I’m old fashioned and like it the other way round with a hot dinner (including for my own DC) BUT if eating and meal times are challenging, do whatever you have to do to get your DC to eat. What you offer could be a lot worse!

I also agree that a hot meal is not ‘better’. I think maybe it’s a traditional English thing? Vegetables like carrots, peppers and tomatoes are better uncooked.

3 dc who have school dinners 2-3 times a week.

On the days they eat in school, they have a 'packed lunch' for dinner - just spread out on a plate 😂 So usually chicken/ham/cheese wraps, yoghurt, crisps, salad sticks, fruit.

Absolutely fine.

That being said, I wouldn't assume the school lunch was of the same quantity as he'd get at home. I've seen them, and often portions are very small, and kids (especially the little ones) don't always eat very much of it. Especially if it's new to them, and even if it's something you know they like, but is presented in a different way to how you make it.

What you are giving him is totally fine, but perhaps don't assume school lunch is his "main meal".

Of course it's fine. Especially in warm weather. If he likes that then he should have it. It's got protein, veg, and carbs. A roast dinner at lunch for an adult would never usually be followed by a hot dinner again in the evening?