Is this really terrible of me to feed my child on.

[randomrainbows]

2 children, oldest is autistic, has extremely restrictive eating who eats the same meals at the same times every day, which doesn't include any hot food at all. Youngest who will eat anything and everything put to him.

Youngest has school dinners so has a hot meal at lunch every day. I've made his tea tonight which consists off, ham, chicken breast (prepacked not fresh cooked), some cheese chunks, raw carrot, raw sugar snap peas and some toast. He'll then have a mix of fruit, raspberries, strawberries, grapes, apple with a yoghurt if he fancies it, not always.

My mums been round and is appalled I've not made him another hot meal. I eat a hot meal at work, sometimes I may cook something at home like fish and veg or chicken and veg and my youngest will have that, but if I'm not eating then he tends to have the cold plate of various things similar to above. He loves it and would often chose this is given the option.

Is this acceptable for evening meal having eaten a hot dinner at school? Today was roast dinner so he had chicken, veg and potatoes with a pudding. I feel guilty now that he's not had a hot meal.

Seems fine to me.

Categorically fine. It would still be fine if he hadn't had a hot lunch at school.

The temperature of food doesn't make it more - or less - nutritious

How does food being hot make it nutritionally superior?

Your mother is being ridiculous and it's not her concern what you choose to feed your kids.

Why does hot = nutritious ? That sounds very healthy, better than cooked junk from the freezer!

Absolutely fine. I think its a generational thing this obsession with a "hot dinner".
I know mumsnetters hate the phrase "picky bits" or "picky tea" but I prefer eating that way myself.

School hot dinners are tiny though so don’t be fooled into thinking they are having a full meal there.

Ask your mother to mind her own business.

I only have 1 child and that child has ARFID. The definition of what counts as a meal for everyone in the house has changed. It’s so much work to keep her fed.

if your youngest is happy and the nutrition is balanced over the day, I would not worry.

Agree the temperature of the meal is irrelevant as long as it's nutritionally balanced.
However I also agree school dinners are tiny portions (I work in a school) so I always did still do dinner for my two, even if they've had school dinners at lunchtime. But that's completely about portion size

Heating food doesn't make it more nutritious unless it's a tomato.

Sounds like a healthy balanced meal. In fact heat can reduce some of the benefits of fruit and veg.

Mine had very similar and generally will eat more variety and healthier if he eats this way. He had a cheese and ham wrap with carrot slices, cucumber and apple. Pudding was low sugar yoghurt (no sweetener either) strawberries and some dark chocolate.

It's very old fashioned thinking that a meal isn't complete unless it's a traditional hot dinner. Does she eat two/three hot meals a day? Does she not have sandwiches or similar for lunch? If so you have just swapped them over.

It's more usual in Europe (at least in eastern Europe where my dad lived) to have your main meal at lunch time and a lighter meal at dinner time. Bread and cheese, pate, fruit etc. generally I thought it was considered more healthy as well so you aren't going to bed with a full stomach and have more time to burn off the larger portion.

I always say that if they're having a cooked meal at lunch then they can have something lighter for tea. Takes the pressure off when the parent has been busy all day. I'd do exactly the same as you

Food is food
hot or cold your kids are still being fed by someone who knows their needs and likes
she can butt out

Thats a very nutritious meal indeed! My 4 year old ate dry pasta for dinner. I was happy with that to be fair!

My partner's like this. He thinks scrambled egg and chopped avocado is inferior to nuggets and chips because it looks like it was prepared in a rush last minute (it was 🤷‍♀️)

My ( autistic) son had dairylea lunchables and plain pasta for lunch and tea for well over 12 months until he moved on to ham sandwich and pepperoni pizza! He eats what he will eat and there's nothing I can do to change it, he would, quite literally , starve if asked to eat something he can't.

My mother also seems to think that food has near enough zero calories and couldnt possibly full you up unless it's "hot". She's very overweight, perhaps that's where she is going wrong! I also had a boyfriend who would munch all day on toast, cereal, ginsters pies and chocolate bars but if he hadn't had a hot dinner would insist "I haven't eaten today". Madness!

The meal sounds perfectly filling and nutritious. Of course he doesn't need two hot dinners. If he's getting well balanced meals he doesn't even need one hot dinner, the temperature is actually irrelevant!

It's not even cold outside yet so doesn't need anything to warm him up

And the meal is absolutely fine

Sounds very healthy and well-balanced. If it's chilly and he wants something warm for the comfort factor (not any nutritional gain) then including soup or some sort of hot drink might be apt but there's absolutely no need for a 'hot meal'.

I think it’s fine. I mean, most people do eat a hot meal at dinner even if they’ve had a hot lunch, and it’s nice to do when can. But some days each week, I think it’s fine.

I’d just be careful not to limit the range of everyone’s food choices just because one child only eats certain things. I would still make hot meals to make sure your youngest continues to have lots of variety. But it doesn’t have to be every day. Certainly it’s better than beans on toast or fish fingers and chips which is what a lot of children have for tea.

A nice, balanced meal. Also, out of curiosity, does your autistic son eat the same cold plate? That is a great variety of food, if he does.

What is the obsession with bloody 'hot meals'? It drives me insane!

Processed meat isn't great, but raw vegetables are nutrionally better than cooked!

No!! He had a bowl of cereal, it's his current obsession and pretty much the only thing he'll eat at the minute. He tends to fixate on a food and will only eat that food, but it's the same 5/6 things cycled round. He has ARFID so that's a whole other discussion!

Thanks for the reassurance that this is an OK meal! I think it's fine, in the winter he will eat soups etc, sometimes he'll have a wrap or sandwich. He'll eat pretty much any fruit/veg, raw or cooked so we do switch it up, he doesn't eat the same thing every day.