Is it hard for everyone? Or am I just bad at it?

[Rosebudwater]

Feel like I'm failing on all fronts. Two kids 6 and 18 months, and work 4 days a week. im absolutely exhausted.

Summer holidays was a shit show of trying to sort childcare, trying to get eldest to any kind of summer club, trying to keep it together at work.

Now school is back I feel like I've fallen apart. My short term memory is so bad that I feel unable to recall basic things at work. I often just stare at my screen because I don't know where to start with tasks, like I've lost the ability to prioritize.
One or other child is invariably up at night, with illnesses or teeth or nightmares.

Things that normally helped like going to the gym have gone by the wayside because it feels like there is no time. My husband feels similarly. Will it always be like this or is this the trenches?

Yes how dare someone not feel exactly the same as you and even say so.

There is a lot more to MN than children. We even have a childfree section now.

I felt sympathy for the OP as i know it’s hard.

But from your posts I could also make sweeping statements about mums - however I’m more polite so I won’t.

Normal. It gets easier, entered survival mode and don't beat yourself up. Anyone who finds it easier had more help, less demands or is lying xx

I've got a 9 year old and an 18m old. I feel fucked atm too 😂. Experience tells me that once they hit 6/7 you get your lie ins etc back- I think it's the 18m old as well as the doubled mental load of having an extra child that is making you feel this way. I have been feeling a lot better actually since taking Vit D daily since February

It’s difficult but small simple changes can be effective:

See your GP for testing for nutritional deficiencies which may be contributing to the tiredness/brain fog

Take turns with your husband to get up with the children at night whilst the other has a full night’s sleep

Have a good wind down routine for about an hour before sleep to maximise the quality of your sleep - no screens, pj’s on, skincare, low light, magnesium body butter, read or listen to a audiobook/podcast

Plan something nice for yourself once a week/month without the kids whilst your husband watches the kids. Even a couple of hours can make a big difference eg meeting a friend for a coffee, take yourself to the cinema/theatre, go for walk and podcast, massage etc.

Get out and be as active as possible on a weekend with the kids - this and cleaning the house is your exercise for now and that’s perfectly ok! If you can, take turns with your husband to do a home workout of some sort maybe one of you does Sat morning and the other does Sunday morning for 30 mins - yoga is particularly beneficial if you’re feeling exhausted

Thanks for all the replies, and for the kind words and helpful tips. Think I need a bit of a reset after the summer holidays, and prioritise the basics (exercise, sleep) again.

Honestly it does just help to know that this is normal for this stage. I feel like I don't even get the honest truth from friends about this, as it's kind of laughed off, like obviously we're tired and summer's tough, but in more like a jolly, it's all worth it kind of thing. But at the moment I really feel just properly ground down, and fearful that I'm just not cut out for this juggle.

I feel exactly the same and I get the whole but it's so worth it, you have it easy etc from everyone all the time.
We have been clinging to the hope that school would tire ours out so we wouldn't be woken before 6am every fucking day forever but it has not at all and we are so so tired.

I could have written your post although with slightly different ages. Two children seem 4 times as hard as one, inexplicably so.
Rumour has it things get better soon ...

If you haven't had kids then you can possibly comment on the tiredness etc. It isn't being nasty but just common sense. Unless you are in that situation you can't comprehend the tiredness, the burnout etc as you wouldn't know about it.