I’m a terrible terrible mother

[bottomoftheheep]

I’m feeling so so lost and I’m scared that I won’t ever feel ok again. My 2.5yo has delayed speech and I’m finding myself worrying so much about him and what his future holds that I can’t bear to be around him as his lack of speech and behaviour upsets me so much. What kind of mother can’t be around her own son just because he can’t talk? When he goes to nursery I pick him up in the hope that he has learned a new word or miraculously started talking .

I also have a 6 year old son and a newborn baby daughter and the school holidays have been hard with them all but it’s no excuse. We are having private speech therapy and I have one on one time with him each day but his progress is so slow that I’m starting to dread it. I’m going to access some CBT through work as I’m clearly not ok. I’m just so ashamed that I feel like this.

@Notthatcatagain @Wilfrida1 @andthat

It’s reassuring to hear stories like yours but I just can’t imagine him suddenly talking. Do you remember feeling that way about your little ones? I’m desperate for it to pick up soon 😒

No, I didn't feel like you. Every single child is different, and I have never yet met an adult who couldn't talk (unless there are profound disabilities). I certainly wasn't going to worry, he was absolutely fine in every other respect. I just made sure I had his attention when I needed to speak to him, faced him directly and spoke slowly and clearly. That way I knew I was doing all I could.

I am really glad you are seeking help with your anxiety levels, because quite honestly, that sounds unbearable and must be exhausting for you. And yes, I mean the anxiety, not the taking longer to talk.

When something makes me anxious or is tough to do, I tell myself I can do it the easy way, or worry myself into a heap and be no good to anyone. Giving myself over to the anxiety is a million times worse. So do go ahead, get help with that, and you will manage not only this situation better, but a zillion other situations life will throw at you when you have children. Good luck!

I am finding it really unbearable and miserable at the moment. I need to find a way to stop these thoughts and hopefully CBT will help with that. I’m in awe of your strength!

It was nearly 40 years ago so hard to remember details. I don't think I worried greatly though, we didn't worry so much back then. I mentioned it to the health visitor and she just said to keep an eye for a few months. She wasn't concerned so I just plodded along.

OP you need to stop stressing out. 2,5 is so young still. He has plenty of time to learn to talk. My cousin didn’t really talk before she was 5 (her brother talked enough for the two of them) and now she never shuts up!
Make sure he is socialised, around other children and adults, no screens and playing with age appropriate toys.