12 month development questionnaire has me worried sick!

[RAU060822]

Hello everyone :)

The health visitor is coming to see my DS for his 12 month development check four days before his first birthday.

I thought that he was doing OK. He makes eye contact, he smiles, he laughs, he enjoys shared attention and occasionally seeks this out, he crawls confidently, pulls to stand, babbles and will copy babbles.. I could go on.

However, based on the 12 month ASQ, he's so behind! I've had a look at the assessment criteria and he isn't in the white for any area and is often borderline grey/black!

Can my instincts about my child really be so wrong?!

For context, he wasn't premature but was born at 38+2 in an emergency due to growth restriction and reduced blood/oxygen from me in the later stages of pregnancy. He was 6lb4oz at birth. He spent three weeks in hospital due to low blood sugar, but this has now been declared as resolved and his consultants are not concerned. I'm wondering if all this will just mean he needs longer to catch up?

I'd appreciate any help/advice!

Thanks

I’m quite surprised just because 6lb4 at 38 weeks sounds fine. But I digress!

At 12 months I would expect crawling as a minimum so if he’s pulling to stand that’s fine. Shared attention is only just starting at this age, what does he do to show this? Copying babbles is a great sign. Yes you get some babies who can say 3 words, jump and do all the actions to wind the bobbin up, but they’re not the norm.

I will also say a LOT happened with both my kids between 12 and 14 months. At 12 months DS was taking wobbly steps, babbling and copying sounds but not saying words, and bashing objects together as play. He’s now 17 months and says 20+ words and animal sounds, has more ‘sophisticated’ play (stacking cups, role play games like serving me cups of tea, arranging farm animals, that sort of thing) and can confidently walk.

DD was the same - first steps, first words, all came at 12-14 months.

I really don't think you need to panic. Wait until the HV has actually seen your son first! They might have no concerns or if they do they will suggest things that could help or refer if they think it's necessary.
It's not an exam he needs to pass, it's really just a check up to see how he's progressing x

Yes, so many medical professionals queried the growth restriction too!

That's reassuring, my DS mostly plays by banging his toys on things/mouthing them but does access some toys functionally. For example, he presses the buttons in books to play the sound effects and plays with things on his activity cube by making cogs spin etc.

A great example of his joint attention happens every night during his bedtime routine. He always crawls off to another corner of the room and then looks back at me with a smile to check that I've seen him, before giggling at my response!

My 2nd son started walking at 18 months, started talking at 2 .5 years. He is now in secondary school. Top sets in maths and science without even trying. Top marks in all subjects whilst doing minimum homework. I would say 12 months is far too early to worry

He sounds like he's doing just fine to me , trust your gut otherwise you will worry his whole childhood away z

Which milestones is he not achieving? There's such a difference in every child

What is it exactly you’re worried about, which indicator ?

I remember when my kids were being assessed the key thing they were looking for was pointing but also anticipating something to happen

He sounds absolutely fine and totally typical. DS still does the looking back thing now! I’m going to estimate that in about 2 months time you will revisit the thread to update and he’ll be doing a whole load of new things.

I had my DD’s 12 month check before she was even 11 months. She’s now 11 and a bit and she’s still not crawling and essentially “failed” the entire gross motor skills section. They said they could she was a happy baby and thriving but they’ll call in 3 months to see if there is any progress.

Really try not to worry at this stage! Every baby progresses differently. My DS was the last to walk out of all his friends, but then was the first to run/jump/climb stairs etc.

Examples of boxes on this questionnaire include being able to say three words (I'm not sure he even has one!), being able to cruise one-handed (he's only just exploring cruising), rolling a ball to you and scribbling! Some of them seem like such a stretch for 12 months..... but I'm a FTM (as I'm sure you can tell!) so I don't really know!

I wouldn’t worry about it too much. The 12 month questionnaire had me feeling sick because it made me feel like dd was so far behind. Turns out she was right on track. The questionnaire has to cover a broad range of development so I’m there will be things your little one won’t be doing. From what you’ve said it sounds like your son is doing great so please don’t let this worry you

Oh I think my DS definitely has anticipation! Not pointing to request yet though, although he's great at touching things he's interested in with a pointy finger!

I know I’ve just posted but just seen this - my dd couldn’t do these ones (only said mama, not cruising really) and scored fine. It’s such a stress though so I totally understand but you really don’t need to worry 😊

Does the questionnaire say what age range it's for? We were filling one in for baby's 10 month check and my partner was worried that baby couldn't do much on it, but I pointed out that the questionnaire was for ages 9-14 months and baby is a long way from 14 months yet!

It's from 11 months to 12 months 30 days. DS is currently 11 months 18 days

Baby development is weird though. Could be he has months of no change and then one bad night sleep and next day he's able to walk a tightrope while singing a nursery rhyme backwards.

Neither of my children could scribble at 12 months (they just tried to eat the crayons), and DD1 was generally slightly ahead of the milestones for her age.

I remember getting very stressed about DD2 at around 12 to 16 months though as she wasn't walking (barely standing until about 14 months iirc) or talking. She was under a pediatrician until 14 months due to low birth weight (born at 37 weeks and under 5lbs). I'd so convinced myself she was behind all her milestones that I was shocked when the pediatrician said she was doing great and signed her off! (She's now just turned two and a happy chatty little person who runs around the place.) I think it's very easy to end up fixating on what they're not doing.

Theee wors is usually some version of "mamama", "dadada" and maybe something else.
Rolling a ball and stacking things depends if he has access to small vall and big blocks.
And scribling is well, if you give him a sharpie, crayon or a brush and some stable surface will he manage to mess it up.
Most children are quite natural with this even when you would prefer them not to be.

Everything else you said sounds normal, my first DS was like that.
You can take time and tryto do activities from that paper, my children found it fun

My DD is 18 months old now, had her 12 month review around Xmas so on the earlier side of the allotted time frame. I wasn't worried at all, she was making good progress for a baby that had only started holding her head up properly at 5/6 months.

HV was honestly awful. She's behind in this, she's behind in that, she's lost weight - I had already explained that she had just recovered from a bad viral infection and was just starting to eat again after a week of just milk intake. She should be standing by now, you should be encouraging her to do this, this, this and this. If I'd been a FTM going into that meeting I would have left a quivering wreck.

However! As I said, DD is 18 months now, I checked her out the other day against the upcoming 2 year review and she's already smashed 3 of 5 areas out of the ballpark and she's got at least 4/5 months to work on the other 2.

They all progress differently and the 3 month window they give you to 'see if they catch up' is ridiculous. You're talking about a whole new child after 3 months! Unless you're already aware of an issue it's very unlikely your little one won't make any progress in 3 months. Please don't sweat it ❤️

To make you feel a bit better, DD crawled at 12 months (so not 11.5), couldn't cruise 1 handed at that stage, didn't have any words (her first word was at 14 months; she didn't say mama until 22 months), and definitely wouldn't have been able to roll a ball.

By 3 she had advanced speech, and was meeting all physical milestones. She's just aced her SATS (exceeding expectations across the board). Your DS sounds well within the 'normal' range, and I don't think you need to be at all worried.

We didn't get the 12 month review for DD due to COVID. Thank goodness we didn't as I'd have worried myself into the ground looking at the questionnaire. Definitely all grey at best. Didn't walk independently until 16 months. Didn't talk until after 2. At 2.5 years she was all in the white except for speech, which was only just into the grey. At nearly 5, the trick is getting her to shut up. She would have aced the (new?) 4 year review if she'd had that.

It's such a huge range of ability at 12 months. Your DS sounds perfectly normal, and I don't think you have anything to worry about.

Those tasks seem to be related to motor skills. I started talking age 3 according to my mum. My mum was so worried she took me to various specialists. They all said your child looks intelligent and understands what is being said, don't worry. I did well at school and qualified with a first class degree from a Russell Group university. Wisely my mum pushed me to start school 1 year later than most children. I was the oldest in class. I am sure this helped. I was diagnosed with dyspraxia in later life. My first child is also dyspraxic. He finally mastered reading age 6.5 and there was no stopping him then. His dinner lady remembers him as always reading during the lunch break. His school Head said if it was in her power she would change the start of formal education to age 6-7 as they do in Scandinavian countries. She said the majority of children are not ready for what being asked of them in Reception and year 1 and possibly 2. I remember my husband was jumping up and down that our firstborn couldn't read at the end of year 1. I firmly told my husband to leave our son alone. I took him to the library once a week and read to him every night. I believe this is where his love of reading comes from. I wonder sometimes who created those milestone guidelines and whether they come from large population based studies or out of someone's head. I would listen to an experienced health visitor, an experienced GP or an experienced teacher or teaching assistant any day over so called expert

Hi, HV here!

Please don’t worry. It’s just a screening tool. I always find the gross motor part on the 10-12 month ones frustrating because if they aren’t doing one thing, the answer to the next two or three questions is basically guaranteed to be no. Lots of babies ‘fail’ that. Some of the questions/answers are very subjective and dependent on mood too. Like whether he follows instructions, or hands you a toy.

The main things to worry about ant this stage are that he’s rolling, sitting unsupported, babbling, and eating a variety of tastes and textures. Everything else will come. The whole idea of the ASQ is that if there are areas where he isn’t quite where we expect, your HV can offer advice on how to get him to the next stage. If, after reviewing in a couple of months, he isn’t starting to make more progress, they can consider things like referring to paediatricians or physiotherapists if needed. However this is highly, highly unlikely to be necessary.

You wouldn't expect a baby to be able to do every single question on the form. Some babies will be more advanced in certain areas whilst other babies more advanced in different areas. It sounds like your baby is doing fine and it doesn't matter if he can't do everything yet, there's plenty of time.

3 words at 12 months seems a lot as a routine expectation. Mine were all just over a year with their first words IIRC, and I didn't see that as a cause for concern. I'd be much more interested, at this stage, in whether he was i) showing signs of understanding me (passive reception comes way before active production) and ii) making a variety of sounds with the babbling.

The stress over walking always bemuses me. Mine were 14, 18 and 18 months respectively and again, I didn't feel it was 'late' particularly. Here again I would be looking at the overall picture in terms of whether, when and how they move.