GP’s manner over babies vaccines

[SLiath]

I just had a voicemail from a woman at my GP’s practice. The only way to describe her tone is condescending. She asked if I had a chance to speak with “hubby” about getting immunisations for my two twins. I am a single mother. I had the first round which made them very poorly and declined the second for the time being I was concerned for their health. They were born premature and we spent 5 weeks in NICU so didn’t want anything impacting their feeding. She then stated with a very snarky tone that if I was not having them immunised I need to go to the practice to sign a form because the “child health surveillance team keeps emailing her.” I have had some hesitance to get the vaccines due to some mistrust in the NHS. This voicemail has now increased that trust. Has anyone had a similar experience?

You asked if I had a similar experience?

No, I had my DCs vaccinated. If you don't want to, go in and sign the paper so they won't keep reminding you. They are doing their job advocating for the children by reminding you.

i assume you mean mistrust instead of trust?

her tone may not be nice but if you’ve decided to delay vaccinating or not to have it done at all, that’s your decision. If you’re delaying, I’d just say that.

Mothers instinct will protect a baby from dying of whooping cough more than the vaccine I'm sure.

GP practice is telling it how it is. vaccinations save babies lives, by not having them you are potentially putting your babies lives at risk!

I'm glad they didn't pussy foot about, or pander to you. I'm curious to know HOW they were very poorly afterwards? did they need medical attention/ in which case the GP would know about this and advise accordingly, or were they just a bit grumpy for a few days?

fingers crossed you see sense and get them done soon

Yes. That’s a common experience.
But not the same to have a term baby, who is growing well to be off food for a couple if days
vs babies who were pre term, were in NICU and probably much smaller agd who might well have been more poorly than that.

Pretty understandable that the OP is worried when you weren’t.
And that’s so talking about the trauma associated with having babies being poorly in the first place.

My son ended up in a n e at 12 weeks old after his first set of vaccines , it was very frightening and I spread out and delayed the rest of his vaccines until he was bigger and he was never as sick again , a bit off form but no sky high temp and heart rate like the first time. My Dr was happy to work with me and make me comfortable.

Ughhh yet another ‘responsible mother’ who ‘knows best’

I had the opposite, my DC spent a long time in NICU and when we went for a vaccination (I can't remember which one) the GP examined DC and said he thought they had a cold coming on so he pushed back the vaccination for 2 weeks. Next day DC woke with a nasty cold that ended up in being readmitted to hospital (would not feed, had dangerously low blood sugar).

I always think that had the vaccination been administered I would likely have blamed that for the cold/hospitalisation.

GP practices get paid for immunisations which I feel feeds the pressure on parents. I had a very sick baby and got guidance on the timings of vaccines from the PICU paediatrician who treated my DC. He had them very late as he wasn't well enough earlier and it was a balance of which was the greater risk at that point in time. Can your paediatrician advise on timings and managing impact of the vaccines?

@SLiath
I think you need a discussion with a doctor, if possible the paediatrician who followed the babies when they were in hospital.
Are your twins still followed by a paediatrician?
If not, have a word with your GP and explain how they reacted so they can give you some advice.

PP are right that you should be able to split the vaxs.
It might also be that it’s ok for you to wait a month or two so they are at their ‘real age’ when having the vaxs.

It IS a really good thing for your babies to have the vaxs.
It is also totally ok fir you to check when is the best time to do that and how so it doesn’t affect them too badly.

Or a mother who has been traumatised by having unwell babies and staying in NICU. This attitude will not improve vaccination rates. OP clearly needs someone to listen, to acknowledge that seeing her babies feeling unwell must be very distressing, and to reassure. The NICU team would be a good place to start if you are still under them OP or maybe your health visitor? Your babies will likely not suffer after the 2nd set of jabs as they do not include MenB and by the 3rd set (when MenB is given again) they will feel much bigger and more robust. By the way, I have a clinical background and still panicked and got an emergency appointment after my baby's first jabs as I was so worried about the side effects and the effect on DC's feeding! The side effects, of course, are nothing compared to how unwell your DC would be if they had MenB, but that doesn't mean you don't need a bit of reassurance when it happens!

Please vaccinate your kids OP. Not doing so puts them at so much risk

My dd was really poorly after her first lot of jabs, so I understand the concern. But the illnesses the vaccines prevent are so much worse. My DD has had all vaccines on time (now 2.5) and she hasn’t had any sort of reaction/illness from them since the first lot

Yeah, cos knowing your children's characters, preferences and sleep needs is exactly the same as understanding their immune system, the prevelance and severity of various preventable diseases and general facts about immunology.

BoundaryGirl's "advice" is idiotic.

I think you need to divide off the snarky manner of whoever phoned you from doing what is best for your babies and I don't know what that is. Is there a GP at the surgery, or a nurse, who you trust? or could you get proper objective advice from another health care professional? I agree a snarky manner doesn't help.

I am expecting a child myself now, but I can still remember having whooping cough vividly, and the fever hallucinations i had at night thanks to the infection back in the 90s. I then went on to develop HSP due to the infection and low immune system and was hospitalised on and off for over a year. And it could have been so much worse! Such as dying...

Please vaccinate your babies. They're already high risk. As other commenters have said, you don't have to do it immediately, discuss with a paediatrician or this nurse about when they'll be ready, like looking at average weights etc. Either way, please do it!

Vaccinate you children. The alternative is far worse, trust me.

Ds was poorly with a temp for a few days after vaccines but that is normal. He was fine after a week, a few days of side effects being off food and ill is nothing compared to the diseases the vaccines protect against (lots of babies died).
I advise getting them done but speaking to a professional or gp about the timings of it if they are premature, they may be able to ease your concerns.

Going with your instinct could get your babies very sick or worse
Ridiculous advice

My advice would be to get your children vaccinated

As far as I know, all GP surgeries have to get parents to sign an opt out form if they decline, think it's so they cannot blame the practice if in future their child is affected by one of the diseases they offer vaccines for

Babies are literally dying from whooping cough. Dying.

Get them vaccinated.

I do feel for you op, we want to do what's best for our children and it's natural to be fearful when your twins have been premature. I hesitated over the vaccines when ds was a baby, my GP was very good at giving me evidence for them because I couldn't just take it on trust. DS still did react pretty badly for a week after each but no long term issues. Maybe speak with GP and ask if a slight delay until the twins are bigger?

This is not about your feelings but about your kids health.

Mother's instinct is things like guesstimating when a baby is poorly but fine or poorly but not fine.

It's not things like "my feelings have the power to undo science".

This. You can ask to have them split up and do them a bit at a time. I did this, they're not keen but will do it if you insist

Some parents do find this hard - on the grounds that an "act of nature" where their child gets an illness feels very different in nature from making a decision on your child's behalf that results in them feeling ill. But please remember that the "natural" illness is potentially life-threatening and the few days of discomfort after a vaccination are very very different indeed.

Childhood vaccinations have transformed infant mortality.

If you distrust the NHS OP you really want to get them fully vaccinated, otherwise you’re going to have to put a lot more trust in the NHS (or pay a huge amount of money for private hospitals) when they potentially catch a totally preventable illness to save their lives.