Explaining dead grandparent to toddler

[Mufflette]

My DS has just turned two and has just hit the réalisation that his grandparents are his parents parents. He immediately assumed that "Grandad N (my stepdad) is your daddy!" and I tried to explain that no he's not I had another Daddy but obviously that didn't make the most sense and he moved on quickly anyway in a very toddler fashion.

But I know I will have to explain properly to him that his actual grandad died when I was not much older than he is now. I don't have a problem with being open about that, but how on earth do you do so in a way that won't make him think people might disappear and die whenever they get ill?!

If you've been through the same, what worked? I want him to know about my dad but how can I do that without making him worry? Or am I just projecting my own childhood issues on to him and overthinking it?

Similar for me. I was just aware that both of my grandfathers were no longer around. One died in the middle 1950s I believe, and the other one in 1963. I was born in 1966.

I don't remember actually being told about their deaths, but I was aware that I only had my two grandmothers, one of whom I saw reasonably often and the other I didn't simply due to geographical distance. One (the one I saw most of) always kept a photo of her late husband on prominent display and would quite often talk about him, but the other didn't seem to discuss hers at all. I was very young though, so maybe she sometimes did and I just don't remember.

My children were 5, 3 and 10 months when my dad died. I obviously had to tell the older two as they’d have wondered where Grandad had gone and why we didn’t see him anymore.
But even if they’d been younger (or not yet born when he’d died), and hadn’t needed to know, I’d still have told them because he’s my dad and he’s an incredibly important part of my life.
My youngest was only a baby when my dad died, so doesn’t remember him, but he still knows all about his Grandad. We don’t make a big deal out of it, but he comes up in conversation sometimes and it’s normal - it doesn’t traumatise the children to hear about things I did with Grandad when I was a little girl, or to hear about how proud he’d be of them, or if I say “Grandad would have loved that boat/car/whatever; he liked to do X”. I think it creates a connection for the children with their grandad and they like that. They’ll often ask about him or say things about him they’ve learned - he’s still a part of our lives even though he isn’t here anymore.