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Original poster

When to stop being naked in front of your child?

67 replies

Tinkywinks · 14/04/2008 22:52

This morning my neighbour told me that she had read in that book, "The Toddler years, what to expect" that you should start to put an end to being naked in front of your child of opposite sex when they are about 3. I was quite surprised by this; my son is 3 and he is always in and out of the bathroom when I am on the loo, shower or getting changed. I was wondering how other mums felt about this? I am especially conscious about this because I am an only parent.

OP posts:
MamaMaiasaura · 14/04/2008 22:53

my ds is 8 and i still am naked infront of him.

lilolilmanchester · 14/04/2008 22:53

We all wander round naked and I have much older children. We'll stop when it becomes an issue for them.

bananaknickers · 14/04/2008 22:54

I read somewhere that you should cover up when they start to get uncomfortable with you seeing them naked. With my boys it was probably 8-10 years. Depends

pinkteddy · 14/04/2008 22:54

I don't think you should stop unless he actually asks you to - like when he is about 15

TooTicky · 14/04/2008 22:54

I don't parade naked but don't cover up obsessively. My sons (8 and 6) regularly join me in the bath with no qualms on either side.

lilolilmanchester · 14/04/2008 22:54

(meant to add I have a DS and a DD; DH and I don't differentiate between which child we're seen naked in front of)

PeachesMcLean · 14/04/2008 22:56

I wish I was more relaxed about it. i went into prudishness with DS when he was about 4 I'd say, and my reaction made him more likely to point and say "boobies" then laugh like a loon.

However I don't miss him trying to look at my bits. And by that, I mean, kneeling on the floor to ahve a better look.

mollymawk · 14/04/2008 22:56

My DS1 is 4.9 and it hasn't occurred to me yet to care if I am naked in front of him. He doesn't care about being naked in front of me!
(but now a bit paranoid given the advice you mention, Tinkywinks, that this is the wrong thing so will watch this thread with interest)

PortAndLemon · 14/04/2008 22:56

Agree with bananaknickers -- if/when the child starts to feel uncomfortable, which I would expect to be much older than three.

AnotherFineMess · 14/04/2008 22:57

I've read that in WTE but I think it said that the opposite sex parent may want to start to cover up at this stage if they are uncomfortable with all the questions, but that it's actually quite healthy for the same-sex parent to continue to be unashamedly naked for the sake of the development of good body image etc?

I can see the logic in that. Assuming there are two parents that is. If I was on my own I think I'd just carry on as normal until (if) anyone seemed to feel uncomfortable.

RosaLuxforherfriends · 14/04/2008 22:58

My DDs still happily wander in and out of the bathroom when DH is in the shower, the oldest is 10.

gigglewitch · 14/04/2008 22:58

just started to ask for some privacy - sometimes - with the eldest who is 7. We are doing this as example, encouraging him to do the same sometimes if he wants the bathroom etc to himself, as til now he's been bathed with his younger brother and sister. It's not to make any of us bashful - cos that will never happen... but to show that it is perfectly ok to want a bath to yourself occasionally!

SmugColditz · 14/04/2008 23:00

What to Expect are American, and I find them so uptight I'm surprised the can fit any added wheatgerm added skim milk powder bran muffins in.

Ignore.

I demand privacy from both my ds's aged 2 and 5 because I bloody want it. Nothing about them, it's all about me.

Gingerbear · 14/04/2008 23:00

you will give them hang-ups. I will cover up once DD starts saying 'Muuuu-m you are embarrassing me, please put your wobbly bits away' (Probably when she brings her first boyfriend home)

QuintessentialShadows · 14/04/2008 23:01

My son (almost 6) asked me if he could see my boobs the other day. I said to him, "no, I am not going to undress to show you myself, you see my walk around naked enough as it is" The context was his chest, he was wondering if he was going to get a flat chest like daddy or a gian-ormous one like mummy. I hope I handled it right.

Original poster
Tinkywinks · 14/04/2008 23:02

I always knew there would come an age, and as this is my only child wasn't sure when this would be, but 3?? He's just a baby! He still even calls my boobs my "milks!". But I know this particular book is considered a bit of an authority so got me a bit conerned. I think the thing definitley not to do is make it a big issue.

OP posts:
MamaMaiasaura · 14/04/2008 23:06

Tooticky - same here with the baths except i do have qualms, i always end up on the plug hole end with very little room and he wants all the bubbles lol Well that is with ds1. I mostly bath with ds2 atm as is only 3 months old so i get whole bath, but no bubbles or soap at all till daddy takes him out and i get to wash in near cold water.

Original poster
Tinkywinks · 14/04/2008 23:07

SmugColditz, (lol) but I thought yanks were less uptight than the brits (not that I want to start a discussion about that). I don't think I would be as concerned if there was a dad in the house, because it kind of balances things out. I think I have to be careful about things like this in the future, as it's just him and me at home.

OP posts:
SmugColditz · 14/04/2008 23:07

I thought the books were big steaming piles of hysterical c4rap, actually.

RosaLuxforherfriends · 14/04/2008 23:09

No Tinkywinks, I speak as a 50% Yank with firsthand experience of parenting on both sides of the Atlantic and I think I can confidently say that the Yanks are VERY UPTIGHT INDEED when it comes to noodity.

Original poster
Tinkywinks · 14/04/2008 23:10

Well I haven't read them myself but it's a good point, we don't have to believe everything we read.

OP posts:
Psychomum5 · 14/04/2008 23:12

when they start critisising your body!!!

or, more seriously, when they start being obviously uncomfortable with it.

none of ours have as yet, altho DH will now cover up in front of DD1 and DD2 out of respect for them as they are now hitting their teens and developing themselves, but I haven;t started to as yet.....and they don;t care either in front of me.

it may be different tho as they boys get older, as they are obviously the opposite sex to me. we will see tho.......the boys certainly don;t care as they will jump in the bath with me any time they ike.

Original poster
Tinkywinks · 14/04/2008 23:15

Well I guess that explains the advice in the book then RosaLux. Although I was born in the UK, my parents are Turkish who are also quite uptight about it, I don't ever remember seeing my parents naked and only saw my mum's boobs for the first time the other day when she was showing me why she needed a boob job!

OP posts:
ingles2 · 14/04/2008 23:17

ds1 8 saw me naked in the bathroom yesterday and pretended to GAG!

I'll be covering up from now on

expatinscotland · 14/04/2008 23:17

this house is freezing! we don't go naked much simply because it's utterly BALTIC here most of the year.

i cannot remember the last time i was warm here for any length of time.

where are you all living that you walk around nudie all the time?

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