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Original poster

When to stop being naked in front of your child?

67 replies

Tinkywinks · 14/04/2008 22:52

This morning my neighbour told me that she had read in that book, "The Toddler years, what to expect" that you should start to put an end to being naked in front of your child of opposite sex when they are about 3. I was quite surprised by this; my son is 3 and he is always in and out of the bathroom when I am on the loo, shower or getting changed. I was wondering how other mums felt about this? I am especially conscious about this because I am an only parent.

OP posts:
SmugColditz · 14/04/2008 23:19

When they start slapping your belly and laughing

Gingerbear · 14/04/2008 23:19

ROFL Colditz!!!!!

Original poster
Tinkywinks · 14/04/2008 23:25

ingles2, I think that's a definite sign to stop!

OP posts:
purplejennyrose · 14/04/2008 23:26

LOL colditz! My daughter (nearly 2) creeps up behind me, lovingly strokes my naked behind then smacks it really hard!??!

barnstaple · 14/04/2008 23:31

dh and I still wander around naked with dd (8) about. Why not? She's got a brain and knows that there are times when nakedness is not appropriate.

Original poster
Tinkywinks · 14/04/2008 23:33

Expat, I have one of those homes that have the central heating on so high that even guests want to strip off. Yes I get the belly slap and laugh, also the bellybutton poke (god I hate that), the sniff of the bum followed by "Ugh! Stinky!". The other thing aside from nakedness, is do you do your tampon/pad thing in front of your small ones? I try to do this discreetly (I have one of those kids that follow me all around the house giving constant commentary) and have felt a bit uncomfortable when he's noticed and asked "what's that?".

OP posts:
fortyplus · 14/04/2008 23:35

My boys are 12 and 14 and are still fine about seeing us naked, though they haven't wanted us to see them naked for at least a couple of years. We don't parade around the house or anything - they will come in when we're in the bathroom or something like that.

My mum and I still see each other naked - she's 74 and I'm 47.

Clary · 15/04/2008 00:06

those what to expect books are so prescriptive I found. I mean I never gave my DC a cracker to eat and what if they don't roll? etc, but no nakedness after 3?

expat don't worry, we don't wander round the house naked but if the kids are in the bath and I want to change into my slobby evening clothes, i don't rush out of the room. Especially if I also need a wee.

I think it's healthy, esp to deal at an early stage with those what's that tampon type qus, from boys and girls.

purpleduck · 15/04/2008 00:22

Don't mind if they see me naked, but ds is really starting to LOOK

Would NEVER NEVER change a tampon in front of ANYONE else. I well and truly, hand on heart do not want to ever see someone changing theirs, so I won't be subjecting anyone else.

hellish · 15/04/2008 00:29

I usually try the "hey what's that behind you?" trick when changing a tampon, Nude in front of dds whenever they come in and find me changing/ having a shower (8 & 5). They are most interested in the "hairy bottom "side of things.

nooka · 15/04/2008 00:50

I wear towels and my two (ds 8 & dd 7) know about periods etc. It's never been an issue for me - I think it's much better to be matter of fact about these things than hide them. My mother gets really upset if towels or tampon boxes are in sight because my father "might find it upsetting" this to me is deeply weird, as I am one of three sisters, so how my dad could possibly have lived his life oblivious to the fact we had periods is beyond me. Re the nakedness thing the advice is bizarre, and frankly rather sad. I don't cover up in front of ds nor dh in front of dd, and they certainly don't cover up in front of us (sometimes I wish they would after a few too many renditions of the "bum bum" or "dinkle" dance).

gomez · 15/04/2008 00:58

Until they say Jesus mum get some kit on I am scared, surely

slim22 · 15/04/2008 01:11

When they start to stare and make awkward comments I suppose?

I think a lot of kids go through that silly phase around 7 / 8 with lots of giggling, blushing and "ewwwwwwww" comments.

Then again I'm not going to hide in my own house. If they feel uncomfortable, they'll learn to knock!

brightwell · 15/04/2008 07:04

My dc are 10 & 13, I suppose when they are uncomfortable with seeing me naked they'll stop coming into the bathroom or bedroom, or as slim22 says...learn to knock.

scaryteacher · 15/04/2008 08:51

My ds is 12. He doesn't mind me seeing him naked, as he says, 'you gave birth to it Mum'. If he wants me to read to him when he's in the bath, then he doesn't have much option! He does like me to be covered up, so if he comes into bed for a hug in the morning at weekends, then I have to put pjs on.

sweetkitty · 15/04/2008 08:55

Interesting DP has just started to cover up in front of the DDs (3.8 and 2.2y) mostly because they run after him pointing at him and singing "you've got a winky" very loudly.

amidaiwish · 15/04/2008 09:39

dh doesn't cover up at all. DD1 and DD2 call it "the problem blob" bloody good word i think.

i don't deliberately cover up but don't really tend to walk around naked at all. they do come in when i'm in the shower which is fine. DD1 asks why i have a hairy bum? DD2 tells me i've done a "musha" (aka have poo all over my bum).

nice.

but no, would never change a tampon in front of them (lock bathroom door as don't really want dh walking in either) and do also tend to lock it when having a poo too.

amidaiwish · 15/04/2008 09:39

they are 4.2 and 2.6 btw.

claricebeansmum · 15/04/2008 09:43

DS probably started avoiding my nudity around year age when he was 10/11. He still walks in on me but puts his hands infront of his eyes! . He does not really like me to see him naked.

DD(10) and I still cavort around nudey together, share baths etc.

DH rarely seen without pants!

Bobbiewickham · 15/04/2008 09:45

When you're in Tescos.

MrsMattie · 15/04/2008 09:46

I still share a bath with my 3 yr old son and he sees both me and his dad naked almost every day. He is curious, but only mildly so.

SueBaroo · 15/04/2008 12:21

I'm very, very rarely naked in front of any of my children, of either sex. I think privacy is a very important thing.

But I also never do what 'the books' tell me to do.

3kidsisquiteenuff · 15/04/2008 12:25

i think the time to cover up is when your son goes screaming away from you yelling aaarrrhhhhhhhhh my eyes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Original poster
Tinkywinks · 16/04/2008 10:11

Well I think there's been a better balance of opinions here than the very narrow minded opinion the book gives. Re the tampon thing, I have started feeling a bit uncomforatable about it (even though I'm fairly discreet) but mainly because I can't think of a way to explain it when my ds asks (especially if I'm wearing a pad and he's just been potty trained!) I guess since my ds has been a baby the toilet door has always been left open and it just seems weird to all of a sudden to start closing it. I think I'll start closing but not shutting the door when I'm on the loo but not making a fuss if he does walk in. Like I said, I'm a bit conscious about these things as it's only two of us in the house, no male figure to balance it out, but these are issues more for the future, as he is only 3 at the mo. I was raised by my father, he bought me my first bra, he was the first person I told when I when I started my periods etc. I think it's best to be open about these things, there is nothing disgusting about nudity or periods as far as I'm concerned!

OP posts:
Kewcumber · 16/04/2008 10:20

I'm in the same position Tiddly - DS 2.4 and singel parent. I'm only really naked in my bedroom and bathroom. When he gets uncomfortable about seeing me naked then he will soon learn to knock on the bedroom door first and not wander into the bathroom! Other than that I'm not too worried about it.

I try to put tampons in discretely even now as he's going through a stage of taking my (unused) tampons and pretending to shove them up him bum! Quite funny in private but not so funny when you have guests luckily it was only my mum!