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Original poster

oh god - studying with children is sodding hard work.

29 replies

BBBee · 14/04/2008 19:33

sorry but I need to moan.

I am so tired and worn down. I have two big assignments due in next monday and I am so tired. I read through what I have done so far and I am so far from happy with it and it could be so much better if I had time and head space but I just don't and I can;t work out how to do it.

I work when I can but find it very hard with the children around so it is often late nights or early mornings.

No-one else on my course has children and I don't know anyone in RL with children and studying so it feels a bit lonely at times.

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Indith · 14/04/2008 20:44

I feel your pain. This week I have no childcare so tis all evening as my nosey little 15 month old will drop his building blocks in a flash at the sight of my laptop!

fairylights · 14/04/2008 21:05

bless you, you aren't on your own! Look at all of us! well, me and indith anyway..
it is bloody hard work, you are right.
What are you studying BBBee??
do you find that everyone in RL says "wow you must be mad/brave/crazy to study with kids"?? It makes me nervous when people say that..
sorry to hear you aren't happy with your assignments, hope you manage to get some decent sleep tonight?

Original poster
BBBee · 14/04/2008 21:59

oh yes I get the "aren't you brave/admirable studying with children" and I just think "no I am stupid and didn't think this through!"

I am doing a doctorate in psychology, first year assessed through assignments.

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Acinonyx · 14/04/2008 22:08

Feeling very stressed and exhausted over here. Hoping to submit doctorate in a project largely-psychology based by end year. Sometimes I wish I could just walk away from it all but I know I would really regret it. I hate the late nights - early morning thing. Moan on!

WallOfSilence · 14/04/2008 22:11

Aw pet, it is hard! Don't let anyone tell you different!!

I'm almost there now, just have about 3/4 weeks left of my degree course & when I'm finished I am going to be so relieved!

I often get people say "Oh aren't you great, studying with 2 children" great?? I'm a feckin nutter!! I have enjoyed it, but by god if I had my time over again I'd just work my ass off at school!!

What're you doing BBBee?

WallOfSilence · 14/04/2008 22:12

Ah I see now you're doing psychology!

Good luck with it. I have had 7 modules of psychology with my journalism degree, they've been interesting to say the least

littlelamb · 14/04/2008 22:15

It is hard work but it is sooo worth it. I had my dd at the end of my first year at uni, and the day I graduated was the proudest of my life Just know that the end is in sight, and that your achievement is worth all the more because of all the extra stuff you will have overcome (while the rest of the students were sat in the bar!)

TheFallenMadonna · 14/04/2008 22:17

Another psychology student here - but a mere undergrad.

I actually find I am massively more focused than I was first time around. I know I have limited time, and I use it.

Of course I have late nights (all nighters sometimes (never early mornings ) but I did when I was young, free and childless too.

I appreciate it more now as well. I'm thankful for the opportunity to do it. Last time I took things far more for granted.

TheFallenMadonna · 14/04/2008 22:21

Of course I'm only doing it part time. So feel free to disregard everything I've said

Indith · 14/04/2008 22:30

Oh god I get praised/told how well I'm doing all the bloody time. No I am not wonderful! I procrastinate like crazy, can't be arsed with my degree and hate it! I'm not wonderful I'm just some idiot who had a broken condom in her 3rd year and figured she had done most of it so she had better finish!

My current mantra is I just have to survive til May 29th. Pref til the end of the exam on May 29th

sallystrawberry · 14/04/2008 22:30

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mamalovesmojitos · 14/04/2008 22:40

ooh guys. i was just about to give up and head to bed. in college from 11 to 5 then 7 to 10 today.

splitting headache and not able for my assignment.

but...seeing as now i feel like i'm not the only one in the world going crazy i'm going to type away for an hour.

i'm sooo tired. but yes, WE CAN DO IT!!!!!

fairylights · 14/04/2008 23:12

keep going mamaloves...!!!! you can do it!!
i have a few more pages of (v complex) reading to do, am sipping a lemsip as a write..

mamalovesmojitos · 14/04/2008 23:35

thanks fairy . why the lemsip, are you sick?

well i've done a bit, not as much as i'd like, but every bit helps i suppose .

have to go to bed now, my shoulder is aching. best of luck with the reading!!

Original poster
BBBee · 15/04/2008 07:52

i am going to do some work at the soft play centre today whilst my children play. I will take strong headache pills!

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Original poster
BBBee · 15/04/2008 07:53

i love your attitude mamaloves - very positive!

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MiaWallace · 15/04/2008 11:16

Can I join?

I'm also struggling. First year undergrad with a 2 year old dd.

I have to write a 4000 word essay by Monday and it's like pulling teeth. I'm checking my word count every five minutes, but it refuses to increase (not suprising really, since I'm not writing anything!)

My mother has taken dd shopping for a few hours so I really should be making the most of the opportunity.

hockeypuck · 15/04/2008 18:22

Oooh and me

I'm doing my MSc in Criminology. I have a 5 year old dd and a 1 year old DS and 2 part time jobs.

ALWAYS feel like I can't cope... but ALWAYS manage to find it in me somewhere and do it.

Yes, it's hell, but it will all be worth it in the end!

fairylights · 15/04/2008 20:49

wow hockeypuck, am v impressed!
Hmmm might be coming back to you for help with revising criminal law in a few weeks, am doing a law conversion course..
mamaloves..i was feeling cold-y last night but the lemsip helped and am ok now, if a bit bunged up, but thanks for your concern

hockeypuck · 15/04/2008 21:46

fairylights - any time. I used to be a criminal defence legal exec before having DCs. (and no I don't miss it one little bit )Get better soon!

fairylights · 15/04/2008 22:07

hockeypuck - are you just doing your MSc out of interest for the subject or do you have another career aim now?
Am currently pondering whether i am being wise or sensible to think about starting a law career with a young family.. any thoughts??

hockeypuck · 16/04/2008 11:57

Fairylights - I think certain law careers fit in fine with a young family. Unfortunately criminal law is not one of them. I gave up as soon as I had DD 5 years ago. The hours of any on-call law are just too difficult to fit in with a young family in my experience. For example. I was always on call on a Monday night, I worked Mon to fri days and every other weekend on call too. One Monday I went to work, at about 5 had a call that we had a client in the cells on a double murder charge and I didn't go home until the Saturday afternoon - at all! Not so good!
Other legal careers that are office hours based can definitely fit in well with a young family, particularly if you have a good employer!

Yes, I'm changing my career plans. I hope to apply for PhD funding next Spring and do that for another 4 years, making a little extra money with lecturing. When I finish that, I'd like to do some research and lecturing. I have tons and tons of good stories and examples from my 5 years in law and should be able to keep the undergrads entertained with those!

That's the plan anyway! but these things are always open to change

fairylights · 16/04/2008 13:51

thanks hockey.. thats really interesting. Fortunately i have no desire to go into criminal law (probably family/immigration), although i do find the lectures the most entertaining and no doubt you would be a great lecturer - ours is full of stories too and i know we all remember stuff a lot better because of the illustrative stories and remarks!
My husband is a uni lecturer and i have to say that it is a really good career to have when you have kids. Of course it can get hectic in term time, but such a lot of the year is vacation (!) and your time is very flexible then. Shame i don't fancy being an academic at all..
While we are here: any tips on how to FIND the elusive family-friendly firm??!
All the best with your current work and PhD application

hockeypuck · 16/04/2008 16:16

Hmmmn family friendly firm - that can be quite difficult as it's often a case by case basis.

Basically, smaller firms generally require a lot of commitment from you because they need to have someone from each specialism in the office at any one time for calls/consultations etc. So larger firms are more likely to be able to be flexible.

However, having said that, you can get very lovely small family firms where they value their staff so much they want them to be happy and to fit in to their lives and you also get large firms where all members of staff are expected to put their job above all else in their lives.

My only suggestion would be to have a really good look around any future employer and ask questions in the interview. If you can, speak to other members of staff and see what the general attitude is of staff - do they feel valued, is there a good working environment etc.

I hope you find the elusive perfect employer of mothers!

Katiekins83 · 24/04/2008 20:54

Ooooh! can i join in too? in in my third year of study after taking a year out to have my ds... now 18months old! he is wonderful, beautiful...bla, bla bla... untill you need to get some work done when he is around and curiosity gets the better of him, and he wants to type with you!
my exams start on monday and i have eight over a 4 week period... i really envy my young /free /single (delete as appropriate) friends who after the exams go to the pub, or read a textbook in peace! however i would not swap my life for anything!
all i now aim for is the summer and i am so glad for mn, as it means there are other people there who do understand, and dont give you that look of pitty/insanity, because you dare leave your child in nursery whilst you go off and do a degree!
We will get through this and provide our children in the end!