Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

Advice for settling baby at dad’s house (co parenting)

56 replies

1234preg · 27/07/2024 23:36

Hi, I have a 6 month old LO who’s starting to spend time at his dads house (working towards spending the weekend every fortnight).
Dad has been very involved and previously spending every other weekend at my house whilst he was so little but now we are trying to move this to his house (2 hours away) and me leave.

LO did the day at his dad’s today but apparently was very unsettled and upset when I left. Obviously that’s heartbreaking for me to hear, but I want them to have a good relationship and quality time.

Does anyone have any advice how to settle him more and work towards these weekends?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
Mama1980 · 28/07/2024 17:03

As others have said op your LO is too young for this. Your dedication to ensuring they know their dad and have a good relationship is admirable but this isn't a good idea.
FWIW in a recent court case here the judge ordered no overnight away from the primary care giver until babe was 24 months old. Simply because of the importance of primary attachment.
The father in this case was ordered to visit more often basically.

Kingsway22 · 28/07/2024 17:10

1234preg · 28/07/2024 00:56

Calling me a negligent mother is not reasonable. All I am asking for is advice on how to do this with my babies welfare in mind hence settling him more and wanting the best relationship between LO and dad.

It was completely twisting my post which quite clearly states we are working TOWARD a weekend and that he had spent a day today. He was hardly surrounded unfamiliar people, and babies the same age and younger in other countries spend the same amount of time that LO spent (with his very capable and caring)father in nursery in a daily basis.

You don’t know anything about my mothering skills

Edited

You are building up slowly and working hard to do it. Good on you for wanting your LO to have a strong relationship with DF, vital going forward.

Can you stay locally so that you are around evening and early morning…just a few times, extending the time you leave and return to the house.

You would be leaving your child for about 10 hours, much if it when the LO is asleep.
There doesn't seem to be the same horror on here about LO’s attending nursery full time…

Delphinium20 · 28/07/2024 19:18

Your baby isn't ready to be away for so long from you. Most fathers understand this when explained.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

3-6 months old 6-9 months old Babies & sleep Families
Starlightstarbright3 · 28/07/2024 19:35

Only read the first page ..

babies this age are often in nursery far longer than Op is talking about .. Depending on relationship with ex .. have you tried going out at your house .. it will build bond in a secure environment ..

start leaving the room then going out .

overnights might not be for a while but you are trying to build a relationship . I would say full weekends are a long way off .

Mummyboy1 · 28/07/2024 19:42

I imagine you may have to do more regular visits, every 3/4 days. It would be as if you were settling him into nursery, regular visits are a good start.

Yourethebeerthief · 28/07/2024 20:12

1234preg · 28/07/2024 00:56

Calling me a negligent mother is not reasonable. All I am asking for is advice on how to do this with my babies welfare in mind hence settling him more and wanting the best relationship between LO and dad.

It was completely twisting my post which quite clearly states we are working TOWARD a weekend and that he had spent a day today. He was hardly surrounded unfamiliar people, and babies the same age and younger in other countries spend the same amount of time that LO spent (with his very capable and caring)father in nursery in a daily basis.

You don’t know anything about my mothering skills

Edited

Baby is far too young.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page