Anyone else dislike the label “full time mum”

[TruthorDie]

I’m married and have toddler twins. Husband starts talking about full time mum. I chuckle. Especially as one of them had vomiting and diarrhoea during this week. Cue no childcare. I ask if lm a full time mum and he says no. I’m like ok. Who cared for our children for a chunk of last week? He like errr.. Spoiler it wasn’t a friendly family dog or family members….

I don’t like the term full time mum either, it makes it sound like working mums are part time mums, which is obviously ridiculous. I prefer the term stay at home mum

Full Time Mum is generally hated as a phrase.

All mums are mums full-time, even when they are at work earning the money needed to keep their children's needs met.

Someone who doesn't need to earn money to meet their children's needs is a SAHP (stay-at-home-parent)

We don't turn being a parent on and off when we go to work. Just like my partner is a full time dad. We're both parents 24/7.

@K37529 and @OpizpuHeuvHiyo those are my mindsets. He thinks l am too combative about it all 🙄

This sums it up perfectly.
It’s a disgusting label IMO

Does he think of himself as a part-time dad? What a strange way to describe oneself.

He has never had to fight all of the myriad of judgements and assumptions that come with being a woman, a mother, a mother who works, a mother who is at home full time, a mother who works part time, a woman who works full time, a woman who breast feeds or doesn't, a woman who...well, I could go on forever really.

Ridiculous 'title' or label or whatever. I parent on my own and work a full time job. I am not calling myself a part time parent because I work to provide for my kids nor to make anyone else feel better about themselves.

No. He’s a full time Dad. He inferred

It's very different to be on "mum duty" all day and to have childcare for working hours. You can be a doctor and work 4 hours a day. It's different from being on duty for 12h at the A&E. I find it hard to believe that people don't understand the difference 🙄

Thank you. This is pretty much my line of thinking

Yeah I think it’s a weird one because the other option is that you’re part time… part time parents do exist, but they’re the ones for whom there is literally zero parenting on their “off days”!

Ao once kids start school do they stop being full time mums?

We live together (at the moment!). On my off days (or even on days!) it’s park / play / soft play / hangout etc

I take exception to being a fucking add on when l did IVF / twin pregnancy / c-section / maternity leave / working pretty much full time with toddler twins whilst studying. He’s so dismissive

We all are full time mums, you are one who stays at home.

Wondering why he thinks you’re not a full time mum but he is a full time dad. Does he stay at home with the kids all day?

He sounds pretty daft tbh.

UPDATE: he says “do you want to fuck?”. Yet again l laugh. I laugh and say no not anytime soon as you make me sick. He rolls over and goes to sleep. Is this the level we have got to?!

I’m. Maybe not the brightest button in the box but it makes no sense to me either. Instinct says male importance / male pride

He’s the one that isn’t the brightest button, OP!

And he’s utterly hypocritical and misogynistic to boot as well. He’s got some nerve to say a working Dad is a full time parent but a working mother isn’t!

I’m not surprised he makes you sick. He sounds vile and very disrespectful.

Thanks

I have the ick big time. Good to know it’s not just me

I consider the kids 'dad' a part time dad. I work a 40 hour week. He has the kids about 40 hours a year and that is not even a joke sadly.

Doesn't bother me at all. I'm always a mum in the sense that it's part of my identity, but I don't do it full-time. Much of the time I'm at work. Equally I'm always a (e.g.) dentist, in that my job is part of my identity, but I don't work full-time.

"Do you want to fuck?" is a divorce petition all by itself. What a horrible way to talk to your spouse.

The "full time mum" thing I couldn't get worked up about.

Before I went back to work I used the term "Stay at home mum" as despite working I am still a full time mother! I wouldn't hear men referring to themselves as "part time dads".

I think full time mum is a weird term although so is stay at home. I also don't understand why women think someone who looks after their child all day is the same as someone who's child is in childcare for most of their waking hours. It's simply not the same.