Anyone else dislike the label “full time mum”

[TruthorDie]

I’m married and have toddler twins. Husband starts talking about full time mum. I chuckle. Especially as one of them had vomiting and diarrhoea during this week. Cue no childcare. I ask if lm a full time mum and he says no. I’m like ok. Who cared for our children for a chunk of last week? He like errr.. Spoiler it wasn’t a friendly family dog or family members….

I think sahmums can call themselves whatever they like because that is hard stuff with little kids. But a man who takes for granted you taking on all the extra load of sick kids and tells you you’re not a full time mum but thinks he is a full time dad. You can’t fix stupid jerk. (But you can take some more time the next few weeks by coming home and saying what’s for dinner? You haven’t cooked? What kind of part time husband / dad are you?? Or the kids need nappies, bath and bed, I’m going for a walk. What do you mean? I thought you were a full time dad and you were quite clear I’m not a full time mum so why is it even a discussion??’ )

It was particular kick in the teeth as last week was tough. This week coming isn’t going to be great either, as l will have to catch on the stuff l missed at work last week

If they stay home cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, planning activities and doing admin for the family, yes.

You do know that working mum's (and often dads) still do all that stuff too? There's no magic cook, cleaning, laundry, planning, family admin fairy that does these things.

Unless they pay for help obviously, but that's not most people's reality.

But either way both mums are still full time mums, you don't cease to be a mother whilst you're working even if you aren't actively with your children. Its an irritating and ridiculous term most get annoyed with, and not the reality of the challenges of being a SAHM.

Personally I can’t get het up about this term. Being at home with children full time is full on. It is different from going to work, which can sometimes be respite from the grind of daily childcare. Stay at home Mum isn’t entirely accurate either, is it?

That doesn’t sound like the real issue here though, your H is dismissive and insulting about the load that you carry for your DC. As for the ‘fuck’ comment, my legs would clamp shut.

The magic fairy is the woman in 99% of families, as she is usually responsible for the mental load and the admin. It means lots of women are doing two jobs and the men are doing just one.

And yes, a doctor or an engineer are still doctors and engineers when they are on holiday. But they are not working as such.

A mother is still a mother when she's in the office, but she's not working as one at that time (and she shouldn't).

Really doesn't bother me. And I am a working mum. I am a mum, but I also do something else. People can call themselves what they like!