Is DD spoiled?

[Ginspirational]

We have a 2 year old DD and quite a lot of family members have said she’s spoiled recently.

Financially we are comfortable, so she has nice things such as a big climbing frame in the garden, annual passes to the our local farm and soft play, a few UK holiday breaks per year and some expensive toys but she LOVES all of these things, I see her getting so much enjoyment out of them.

DH and I both work full time so when we are with her we are often out doing things, getting little treats like a cake etc, or going out for the day/out for dinner. We very rarely stay home and recently I’ve had comments such as ‘oh DD is so spoiled, she wants for nothing’.

But we don’t buy her toys for the sake of it, if we are out and she asks for something, 90% of the time we say no and she moves on, but if she’s been a little angel that day sometimes we do cave and get her the bubble wand... The comments are starting to get to me though, I thought we were just giving her a nice life but should we do less?

But giving a child everything they want is a dangerous path without balance…

I do think things are different now. 2 DDs here, ages 4 and 8 months.

We are out somewhere every weekend as I find it much easier. Not always a paid place, we live right by the beach and close to lots of nice parks. We do go to paid farms, zoos etc fairly regularly as well though.

We do have lots of toys but DD rarely asks me for anything when we are out and about. The only thing she really asks for is an ice lolly or ice cream so I don't consider her spoilt.

I think it sounds fairly normal to be honest and they sound jealous. I understand what your husband says though that when we were children those things happened less often and maybe they feel sad that they weren't able to provide that x

This OP.

If you have the means to by her nice stuff and take her for days out and dinner thats great and really none of anyone's business!

You're damned if you do as a parent and damned If you don't.

We both work full time so our weekends with DS whos 2 are filled with days out, dinner and fun. If he wants a toy in a shop it's mostly no and he understands and walks away but when we can say yes we do and his little face lights up.

Keep doing what works for you and your family. As others have said a spoiled child is one that demands and gets. Not one who is treated to nice things because you can.

I dislike the term 'spoilt' in almost all situations.

Being 'spoilt ' is about attitude, manners, how they express themselves, etc. It isn't about money and what they have.

It doesn't sound like your child is 'spoilt' at all.

Your child is simply in a privileged position compared to some others.

It's not entitled unless it's expected, demanded, insisted upon, tantrums if not getting own way, etc.

Like spoilt, entitled is about attitude rather than money.

Privileged is a much better description imo.

My own dd has had a privileged childhood. Especially when compared to my/dh's childhood.
She is now a young adult and still able to have a privileged lifestyle as a result. However, she was never a spoilt or entitled child/teen/young adult. She has never expected to be given everything she asks for.

If a 10 year old has said this I would assume she is parroting an adult who said it - her parents or perhaps grandparents.

From what you have said she isn't spoiled but has the benefit of working parents who can afford a lifestyle. Never apologise for doing well for yourself and being able to spend your money on making life nice for your child in a way you choose. If you eventually afford private school (if your choice), being able tk give her a house deposit or funding uni don't apologise for that either.

And OP has said she doesn't.

IME, most toddlers with both parents working full time tend to have busy weekends.

Sounds pretty normal to me. I would think it strange if a child didn’t have any garden toys and never went anywhere. Farms and soft play are pretty standard really.

I wouldn’t think anything else of it OP. Just keep enjoying your time with DD.

My dd was probably "spoilt" in very similar ways to what you describe, OP. She never wanted for anything and we tried to give her lots of special experiences and memories etc. We wanted to give her the best possible childhood that we could. I did sometimes worry that we might be "spoiling" her too much, and I was therefore very vigilant in watching for any signs of her acting "spoilt". But honestly, I never had any concerns - she is young adult now, but she was an absolute delight all through the teenage years, was always grateful for what she had, was never demanding and never took anything for granted. I have no regrets!!

Thank you everyone, that has made me feel much better. We are fortunate that we can give DD those experiences, but equally the best afternoons are spent popping to the beach on a whim for an ice cream and throwing stones in the sea. I hope that she will grow up knowing the value of both.

Your daughter sounds like she has a lovely little life. She doesn't sound spoiled to me, just lucky to have lots of enriching experiences and activities.

This is a lovely childhood for her and what is the alternative, that you reduce her social and cultural enrichment so that other people don't say rude things? No way. You're doing well and I'm sure she'll grow into a lovely, well rounded person.

Sounds lovely!

I was referring to the other poster