At what age did you first have an night away from your children?

[MummaDaisy]

Hi all,

I have a 5 month old and am a FTM. It hasn’t been easy but I love being a mum so far. But I also miss having time to myself and also with my partner alone. We have not yet left our baby to spend time together alone.

Im torn as I’d love to spend some time alone and with my partner just the two of us at some point but whenever I think about leaving her my heart drops and I can’t imagine being without her. I wonder will I always feel this way? I feel immense guilt when I think about leaving her.

I don’t plan to do it anytime soon as I am currently BF’ing but eventually it is something I would like to do. But I am curious at what age other peoples children were when they felt comfortable to leave them with a trusted person perhaps overnight.

I have a fantastic family and am very close with my family and trust them, that’s not the issue. I think I’m imagining my daughter will miss me and hate me for it! Will these feelings I have end? Or will I just have to one day brave it and see how I feel?

3 days old, they were in NICU and they sent me home for a good nights sleep! After that 2 months old for a work event away.

I had a night away from DD for work when she was just over a year old. She was still breastfeeding multiple times a night at that point, so it was a bit of a pain.

DP and I had a night away together a few months before she turned two. Judging by the photos and what my parents said I don’t think she missed us much… and she slept through the night!

Three months, I was still bf expressing...had to return to work on the night shift.

DS1 was 4mo. We had a lovely time.

18 months. But she was with her father and grandparents.

The first time that both parents were away overnight, I don't remember. It would have been a few years into school age. Maybe 7 or so.

For those of you without family overnight options (and with) - get them into scouts.

They start doing sleepovers and camps at beavers age 6.

My two are just back from a whole week in Europe (age 11 and 15) with Scoits.

Ds1 was 22 months, when I was having ds2. Ds2 was 2, we left him and ds1 with grandparents. Ds3 was 2.5, when I was having ds4. Ds4 was 12 months, when I was having ds5. I left ds5 overnight with dh a couple of times overnight when he was about 2 and I was in hospital with one of the other dc. He stayed overnight with school when he was 8 and with grandparents when he was 10.

I had a night in London for work when DS was 9 months old (went back to work then as DH took 3 months SPL). It was a mixture of bliss (a mostly-unbroken night of sleep, only woke once to pump) and sadness (I missed my baby terribly). He was with DH though.

We didn't both leave him overnight till he was 2 and slept through - he was a horrible sleeper before that, it would've been unfair to leave him with my parents before that, although they did some evening babysitting.

Six months. We booked a hotel locally for the night and my parents stayed at ours with DC. It was bliss!

I have a 10 and 6 year old and I’m still waiting on offers from family so I assume when they are 18 😂

Nearly 3

Currently have my three DGC sleeping over. They're aged 7,5 and 2 but have each stayed over reasonably regularly from the age of 10/12 weeks. They were all breast fed, but happily took an expressed bottle and were great sleepers which certainly helped!

Not until they could stay home on their own 🤪

Ds1, he was 2.5. and only because I had to. I was giving birth and stayed in the hospital 2 nights.
DS2 is 17 months and haven't left him yet

I would have loved a break right from birth - would have loved a hospital
that had a newborn nursery.

Reality she was five years old when I had a night away from her. It was a very long time to wait.

Both of us together with a night away from her - 7 years old. Again, far too long to wait but no family support meant no one for her to stay with away from us.

@Shiresunshine

thank you! Yes she actually will take a bottle very well as we had a rough start with breastfeeding but we haven’t tried it during the night since she was just a few weeks old so I’m hoping it’ll still settle her at night if I give that a go.

I haven’t really left her with anyone except to run into the shops quickly but my partners mother has offered to have her overnight but we don’t see her too often as she lives in Ireland so I’m not completely comfortable but at the same time I feel that’s what puts me off letting my mum babysit who I see frequently. I don’t want my partners mother’s feelings to get hurt so perhaps I’m avoiding it partially for that reason too.

Have you ever asked? Maybe they waiting to be asked…..I never offer as such….I just wait for my DD to say ….’Mum can you watch the girls X night…..or can you have them Y weekend’ ……seems a real shame you don’t get to have time together just the 2 of you