Is 45 year too late to become a father?

[patins]

I am almost 37 years old and found out that I am pregnant for the third time. The pregnancy was not planned and I don't know if I can go through with an abortion. However, I can't stop thinking about my husband and the fact that he will be almost 46 years old when this baby is born. Do you think 45 years is too late to become a father? Please give me your honest opinion...

Would finances be an issues, as in would DH have to delay retirement if funds for university were needed? Otherwise, no, I don’t think it’s too old, but your DH is the one to say if he feels too old.

My dad was 50 when I was born. He was a very active and involved father and ironically outlived my much younger mother. I was in my early forties when he died. So no I don't think 46 is too old, and it also depends on the individual anyway - some people act old and lethargic at a much younger age. You're still quite young anyway - so I absolutely wouldn't hesitate to have your child.

My auntie was born when my grandparents were both 45. Generally kids ignored the fact she had an older dad and just focused on the mum and she had a little bit of bullying.
Unfortunately my grandad died relatively young and she was in her early 20s which she found hard. She was 40 when my nan died so it's not a given that having kids in your 40s means they lose you when they are still young.

You can make the best or the worst of any situation and I would probably say there is less societal opinion on older dads compared to older mum.

Nope, my DP is 45 and we have a 1 year old, discussing a second, it actually seems to be becoming the norm in our friend circles that the dads are starting or continuing families into their forties.

I was 37 and my OH 45 when we had our youngest, she was a planned last-chance baby and we conceived within weeks of TTC. If anything age has made us better parents to her than our 2 older daughters who were born in our 20s. Still have just as much energy and no we're not the oldest parents in the school playground xx

My exDH was 49 when we had our DD. Shes now 12. He's retired. Does loads with her and is a really active bloke. Retirement means he picks up loads of the school stuff that I can't too.
46 is fine.

What does your husband think? Is he healthy and active? A hands-on dad to the other kids?

DB had his 4th child at 46 I think. He’s a brilliant dad.

I work with 2 men who became fathers at 47, one for the first time, one for the 3rd time. Not too old. Both babies were planned. Both men have much younger panthers!!

But my parents and my husband's all died by the time I was 27 and had me early 30s mid 30s for OH....so age doesn't mean you have them longer that's a roll of the dice.

I think it too old….about 10 years too old

My dear old Dad was 48 when I was born. He recently passed away and I’m bereft. He was the loveliest man. I turn 40 this year. He was a very present parent and I was truly lucky to have him. I knew I was likely to lose him in my 40s and definitely by my 50s but for me it was about quality and not quantity of time.

I think people need to think beyond being a father around 50 to a child around 5 (which will be fine) and think about the next decade or so.
A 15 yr old at 61.
A 22 yr old (possibly still needing uni funding) at 68.
That's when it will be hard, not the baby at 46 or primary school at early 50s but.

Not at all. How does he feel?
My FIL was 45 when my DH was born, and it was very uncommon then. He lived to 92, he was a great father and grandfather.

That’s really moved me, 🥺 I’m sorry for your loss.

No . People are living longer . The child will be around 40 - 45 when he pops his clogs

This 100% .

Honestly, yes I do think it's too old.

He is a very involved and a great dad. Healthy, but not active and a tad overweight.

I’ve read that there are increasing risks of autism and certain disabilities with older fathers but I’m not sure about the validity this or what the risk increases to.

Dad was 45 when I was born in the 60s .Mum had problems conceiving and a stillbirth /MC .He was very involved and loved swimming and playing chess!

My Dad was 45 when I was born.

He had his first heart attack when I was 6, another when I was 12 and then was ill until he died when I was 18.

I always wished my parents had been younger, especially when other kids asked me why I lived with my grandparents or other mums said things like ‘I bet Granny can’t wait to give you back and put her feet up!’

Better than not existing, I know, people go through worse….you asked, and the answer is not, honestly, ‘it was all good having older parents!’.

Thankyou for your kind reply. He meant the world to me, and I him.

Well if this is your third baby with him then he’s already a father 🙄

and even if he’s not the father of your first two children, you are already pregnant and plan to continue. So he’s going to be a father whether or not you approve of his age .

Is he the step father to your first two children and if so, what did you plan to do with him once he turned 46 next year ? I assume you knew that was going to happen 12 months after his 45th birthday - it can’t be a surprise to you. You have been having birthdays of your own for 36 years so you must know how it works .

What do you think should happen to all fathers who are over the age of 45 ? Is your own father still alive?

In recent years, longevity has reversed. You know, thanks to underfunding the NHS, and all. My dad was 37 when I was born. We lost him when I was 39 because primary care never gave him a GP to see, despite him being in his mid 70s.

My best friend's dad was 45 when she was born, and he's still with us.