How to cope with 2 kids?

[ChilledMama85]

Just wondering how other parents cope with 2 kids with big age gap during school hols/ hols?

I am so stressed when I look after my 4 mths DS old and my 5 yo DD on days when DD does not go to childcare.
Lil one wants to be carried around/ chatted to all the time & my DD also wants my full attention. I feel like a failure trying to look after both at the same time.

I have no advice but I’m in the same boat and wanted to offer solidarity ! 2month old and 5yo about to be off for the summer. Hellpppp! Haha.

No advice either but in the same boat 5 yo autism and adhd and a 7 month old hoping for some advice lol xx

TV 😬

Lots of going to the park, beach, soft play, places the older one wants to go

I feel the same challenges but with a smaller age gap - I have a 2 year old and 3 month old. I have childcare for the toddler one day a week but otherwise both are with me all the time and both want full attention and I also feel like I'm failing both of them. I'm always wondering how anyone copes with 2, or more!

I used to try and get out every morning - park, soft play with friends etc. Places DC1 wanted to go and DC2 just came along on the buggy/sling.

Then in the afternoon, DC2 would go down for a long nap so I had one on one time with DC1.

Then a lot of telly time in between, and handing DC over to DH when he got home from work so I could get some time to myself.

Didnt always go to plan! It can be relentless with long weeks stretching ahead. I often went to my parents for a few days for a break (v hands on).

Little one in the sling and chase round after big one. My younger was pretty much raised as a marsupial until 1.

I think that's an easy age stage. Surely you do what the 5 year old wants and the 4 month old just tags along? Park, soft play, back, swimming, museum etc .

I have a 2yo and 6yo and they fight about TV also😓There is no escape

4 month old is very portable, stick them in a sling and do whatever your 5 year old wants to do.

My dd lived in the sling when she was a baby so she was happy and i had hands free for the eldest. I did lots of park trips, soft play with eldest friends and swimming and then in the afternoons wed have quiet time so the baby could nap and hed have some down time.
Id also try have the odd 1 to 1 day with my eldest so we could do things like the trampoline park where i couldnt have baby strapped to me, helped with the guilt a little. It is exhausting though! Now dd can walk its a little easier to please them both

Yes I have a 3 month old and 5 year old and envisage this summer being easier than next summer! At the moment the baby is essentially a handbag, just comes wherever we go. It’s only things like swimming and going to theme parks which would be tricky. Other than that I think we can just do what the older one likes. Next summer when little one is walking I think will be much harder 😩

By arranging it so i don't have both at the same time apart from once a week. My youngest one (1 yo) is in his usual childcare throughout school hols, and i'm only off 2 days a week with older DD as we're using holiday clubs for the other days

I had that age gap. One of the things I did was teach the 5 year old to play simple card games whilst I was feeding the baby. Rummy, snap and knockout whist are all possible once they recognise numbers.

I have a 4 year gap. I don't work in the summer but I got DC1 used to summer camps from age 5, to give her the chance to hang out with friends, and burn off some energy. Not every single week, but it helps break up the holidays a bit. I'd take DC2 out on her own while DC1 was at camp, so she'd be ready to nap after lunch, then I could have one to one time with DC1 if she had a half day camp, or just have time to prep food and do chores if it was a full day camp.

When I had both dc together we would usually go to playgrounds, soft play, role play centres and children's centres, museums and galleries. I've always spent a lot of time out of the house with both dc as I find it easier to limit screen time and it keeps the house tidier.

Tv, sling and baby/toddler groups. Poor dd1 always came second to dtds until they were school age and I was able to make them wait for dd1 on occasion. I was worried the twins would be less cuddly because they had less of me but actually, at almost 13, they’re still super cuddly.

Surely you just do what the older one wants to do? 4 month old will just do whatever

thank you all for sharing your experience & advice , very helpful !

I'd have a rough plan of what you want to do with a couple of things booked. I'd just aim entertainment at your older one as you did before youngest was born

I have a four year old and baby. The library or soft play works well as little one can lay down while big one runs around. Our local museum has a few summer events we are going to do (baby in carrier) and of course lots of parks/playgrounds to try and tire my older one. Hoping for some sunny days for picnics

You do things aimed at your older one and baby just gets dragged along. A sling is helpful for when you need to chase after 4 year old and need hands free. Snacks for when you need to sit and feed baby.

I have a 7 year age gap, and when DD2 was born I felt the same, I started using the carrier a lot, that way DD2 was getting cuddles and I could have my hands free to play games with DD1, also arranged play dates so that she was entertained some of the time with her friend.

Take a Janet Lansbury approach with both children, read (or listen!) to her book Elevating Childcare - it's short!

Concentrate on getting your older child to play independently which massively takes the pressure off you day to day.

Right now, baby in the carrier/sling and carry on with the 5yo as usual.

As soon as baby can sit up, plop her on the floor and get her used to entertaining herself too.

Independent play saved my sanity 🙃

Also any kind of stay and play/soft play where 5yo can tear around safely and you can just sit, watch and feed the baby.

My age gap was closer to 3 years but when the baby was small we went out most days and baby would be in a sling while I played with my older child at the park.

At home I used to time activities with my old child while the baby was napping.

Now tihey are 3 and 6. Youngest goes to bed first and then I can read with older child and give him full attention and cuddles without the younger one.

Harder part as they get older is the jealousy. She's my mummy, not she is my mummy. And fighting as to who gets to sit on my knee!

I have a similar age gap between my DD and DS, they are slightly older now but I did go through this stage and it was honestly fine.

DD was happy to draw, paint and wanted to be hands on with the baby so I involved her in everything. She was even excited watching the nappy changes.

For activities outside the home it was usually a park or a walk or taking her to the cafe while DS at the time was in the pram. I actually loved that summer so much.

I find it harder now that DD is 8/9 and DS is 3, outdoor activities are fine but they play less together at home unless they're in the garden.